Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - Part 1

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - Crew Review

A Mission Post by Commander Phoenix Lalor & Lieutenant Commander Gary Taylor & Lieutenant Commander Aurelia Holmes

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: Commander Lalor's ready room, Deck 18

Timeline: MD 1 09h00

With the commodore's body on Ice in the ship's morgue, and the Starfleet Intelligence officer recovering nicely on the USS Hippocrates the Fleets largest Medical Ship, under the protection of Admiral Carter, Phoenix had instructed the Helm to set course to DS9. And now she sat quietly in her office studying a pile of PADDs. She sighed and summoned Gary to her office. They needed to discuss things.

Gary had received the summons from Phoenix and he made his way to her Ready Room. The ship was being repaired from the damage it had sustained at the hands of the Watch. The crew also seemed to be rebounding from the same ordeal of mutineers in their ranks. Reaching Phoenix's door, he rang the buzzer to be allowed admittance.

The door opened and Phoenix called out. "Come in"

Hearing Phoenix's voice, Gary entered and moved to the chair in front of the desk Phoenix was sitting at studying a stack of PaDDs. He didn't sit (that would be presumptuous) but rather stood beside it. "You wanted to see me Captain?"

"Yes, please sit Commander," Phoenix said. "I am looking over our current compliment of crew, and I have some changes to put in place. And I would like your opinion."

Gary dropped into the chair, crossed one leg over another and looked at Phoenix. "Thank you. Always glad to give my opinion. Just what changes are you planning to put in place?"

"The first is, a second officer." Phoenix replied,"We do have a number of officers who fit the bill but I am inclined to promote Lt. Commander Holmes to the post. Your thoughts?"

Gary thought for a moment before replying, "No argument from me on that Captain. Holmes is smart and talented. She's also not afraid to speak her mind. She's an excellent choice for second officer."

"Then before we move on, shall we call her in?"

"I think that is an excellent idea Captain."

Phoenix nodded and hit the comm. "Lt. Commander Holmes would you please come to the ready room."

Gary sat up straighter in his chair as they waited for Holmes to come into the ready room and receive the news of her promotion. Down in the now cleaned up brig, Lia was somewhat surprised by the call. =^="Holmes here, roger that on my way"=^=. She quickly made her way to the ready room, standing outside she pressed the chime.

The door opened and Phoenix waved her in. "Come in Commander Holmes." She called out.

Lia slowly entered, "Lt. Commander Holmes reporting as ordered, have I screwed up again Captain?" She stood at attention in front of the Captain, only then did she spot Taylor. oO Oh yeah, I must have screwed up good Oo, she thought.

Gary twisted around in his chair, to look at Lia. His face showing nothing.

Phoenix waved Commander Holmes to the other chair. "Please commander, have a seat."

Looking at the chair, Lia slowly sat down. oO Why don't they just tell me what I've done? Oo she thought. Once sat down Lia responded, "Thank you Captain, but can you please explain why I'm required?"

Once Holmes was seated, obviously nervous, Phoenix thought, Phoenix leaned back in her chair. "Lt. Commander, upon review of your actions over the past week or so, Commander Taylor and I have chosen to 'promote' you to Second officer of the USS Elysium."

"Excuse me!!!!!" Lia thought she must have miss-heard the Captain, "Do you mind repeating what you just said, because I think I didn't catch it". She edged forwards in the chair, "Did you just promote me to Second Officer? Really?" Lia swallowed hard, "That's what you said right?" This couldn't be right, she hadn't been on board that long.

Gary stifled a chuckle as he listened to Holmes's flustered reply. His eyes however showed his amusement at Holmes and her response.

"Yes Commander, that is what I said." Phoenix said with a smile. "While you have not been on board for long, you have the needed experience."

Almost without thinking Lia jumped up and did a little dance while saying over and over, "I'm a number two, I'm a number two, I'm a number two". She then realised what she was singing, "Oh crap! Tell me I just didn't do that, sorry Captain and Commander". She now stood in front of the Captain, "Thank you for your confidence in my ability to do the job Captain, and despite my little display I hope not to disappoint you". She swallowed hard, and turned to Taylor. "I know you had a hand in this Commander, so thank you also. I hope we can work together, once again thank you". She then sat down very red faced, her embarrassment clear to see.

"Nothing to apologize for Commander, good honest enthusiasm is refreshing to witness." Gary replied honestly.

"Enthusiasm I would agree with, but Childish glee isn't quite in the same league". Stated Lia. "I don't normally give into things like that, but then since joining this ship normality seems to have been suspended". She glanced at the floor, "I mean mutineers, a dead Commodore. Oh yeah a Gorn as a Doctor, and a Wolf as a CEO. That's normal isn't it?" She glanced between the Captain and the XO, "Seven years in Star Fleet Intelligence and you would have thought I saw it all, but the daft thing is I like it here. So what's normal?" She waited for some sort of reaction from either of the Senior Staff.

"I'm afraid I have to disagree with you Commander. We are by all examples the epitome of Starfleet and the Federation charter. To seek out and find new worlds and civilizations. We have a crew that is as diverse as you can possibly have as you just noted. A Gorn CMO and a Wolf who is not even native to this galaxy among them and we make it work. I think we're perfectly normal." Gary answered easily, looking to see if Phoenix had anything to add.

"For this ship, it is very normal." Phoenix said softly. "We have had a number of different crew over the years." she smiled. "Now, if you have calmed down, I need both of your opinions on certain crew members."

"Please proceed Captain." Gary replied, eager to hear who else in the crew she wanted to discuss.

Phoenix took a breath. "Lieutenant Klop-Johnson" She stated.

Lia glanced quickly at the Captain, "Klop-Johnson? Wasn't she the loud one on the bridge? I must be honest and say I've had very little to do with her, but on first impressions I really wouldn't want to be around her on the bridge. Up until I left she seemed to just flip out at just about everything, just what is she?" Lia hoped she hadn't blotted her copy book already, but that Lieutenant seemed just a tiny bit off to her.

"Well you got the loud part right." Phoenix said softly. "She is currently the chief of Intelligence, and I am thinking she is not really suited for that post."

"A department head especially the Chief of Intel, should be level headed and cool under pressure. Lt. Kolp-Johnson is the exact opposite of that. She's hot tempered and high strung." Gary added. "She may be a good officer but I don't think she's cut out be Intel Chief."

"Agreed." Phoenix replied. "I was thinking of moving her to the on board academy as a trainer. Thoughts?"

"I for one have no objections in placing her in that position. She can still be a major contributor in the development of Intel officers." Gary pointed out.

"With due respect Captain, I understand what's being suggested. But as a fellow bridge Officer, I find the Lt.JG. tends to let her feelings run away with her. Not what is wanted on the bridge, perhaps a stint in the academy may in fact do her some good". Lia felt she might be ending a fellow Officers career, "Do we have a replacement in line for her? Or are we waiting to see who will step forwards?"

"There is an assistant chief but at this time I am not willing to just promote her to chief. I want to see what happens in the department. Just because someone is an assistant chief does not mean they are suited for the chief position." Phoenix said.

"Agreed. I think we should take a wait and see approach in regards to the assistant chief. She can handle any paperwork or staffing questions that come up for the time being." Gary added.

Lia nodded in agreement, "I must say I haven't met the Intel Assistant Chief, I never got the chance during our problems. My 2/ic says she knows her stuff, so I'll go with that".

Phoenix checked her list. "Those seem to be the only posts that needed discussion from me. I do however want both of your opinions on how the crew handled the crisis we just faced."

"From the people that I had direct contact with, I would say they handled it very well". Lia stated, she glanced at Taylor. "Medical, Marines, and Security all interlocked and did what was required". She looked back at the Captain, "Even when you were removed from the bridge, the ship carried on until the emergency was rectified". She sat back slightly so Taylor could have his say.

Gary didn't answer right away, he looked at both Phoenix and Lia before replying. "The crew and the officers involved in this situation performed exceptionally and without regard to any personal injury they might incur. You can be proud of your crew Captain, they are a fine example of how a Starfleet crew is expected to act."

"A diplomatic answer Commander" Phoenix said with a smile. "Commander Holmes, has your investigation into the troublesome trio in medical come to anything?"

Shaking her head, Lia replied, "I had Lieutenant Stiegalle do some digging around, and I think we can say they had nothing to do with the mutineers. If you wish to take any further action Captain, that will be your choice". She looked at the Captain, "I would say our only fly in the ointment would be our Intel chief, and you've already taken care of that situation".

"I will defer to Commander Holmes in this matter as she has done or had her department do the actual investigation." Gary answered evenly looking at both women.

"Very well then I will get Commander Qwynn to deal with the issue around a Cadet and an enlisted having an affair, though from what I have been told, it was not a planned event." Phoenix said softly. "I believe the best for them both is to let Liselle handle it. I have a conflict of interest in the situation and it would not be appropriate for me to stick my nose in."

She looked at Gary and then at Lia. "Anything else we need to discuss? Concerns, issues?"

Gary sat quietly as Phoenix made her announcement. He was curious about Phoenix's conflict of interest but it didn't concern him so he didn't pursue it. "Only the obvious one Captain. which is to put our previous mission behind us and get to what Starfleet and this ship does best.... exploration. There's a lot of the galaxy we still haven't seen."

Lia sat and thought, "Nope can't think of anything, as far as I'm concerned we're done here". She wanted to talk to Taylor, but that would have to wait.

"I can't think of anything else Captain, so I agree with Commander Holmes, I think we're done." Gary answered from his chair.

"Very well then. Thank you both. I will put the changes out to the crew shortly." Phoenix said with a smile.

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be – Departure

A Mission Post by Commander Phoenix Lalor

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: Captains Ready room

Timeline: MD1 07h00

The Elysium was leaving Risa. It was on its way to its next mission. With the commodore's body on Ice in the ship's morgue, and the Starfleet Intelligence officer recovering nicely on the USS Hippocrates the Fleets largest Medical Ship, under the protection of Admiral Carter, Phoenix had instructed the Helm to set course to DS9. They would leave the body there for the relatives to collect. And then they would go on, through the wormhole.

DS9. Not really her favourite place. Not really a place she wanted to spend time at all. She was not even a big fan of the Gamma quadrant either. But it was a mission. And one they would go and do. Spend 6 months in the Gamma quadrant, charting and exploring the different cultures and areas.

But, as she stood, silent looking out of her window at the streaking stars, she was glad that the crew would get a chance to cool off .. for at least 24 hours. They were scheduled to go through the wormhole in just under 3 days. It would take them a day of travel to DS9, a day there, and then at 10h30, the third day, they would travel through the wormhole to the Gamma quadrant, and then onto Gamma Station, the brand new station that would be their home base for the next 6 months.

On her desk was a pile of reports, and information on the so called WATCH. An organisation which had planned the demise of Sharr and the rest of them were collateral damage. It was insidious. And she was determined not to have it on the Elysium again. And if she found it in the Gamma quadrant, operatives would find themselves spacewalking home without a spacesuit.

Phoenix had no tolerance for such crap.

Sighing she turned for her desk. Time to get to work.

Demons Run

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Dante Xithia

Mission: Episode 0: History Speaks

Location: Betazed, multiple.

Timeline: 2374 - Invasion of Betazed.

________________________________________

The atmosphere of Betazed was alight with weapons fire as the Tenth Fleet futilely tried to repel the Dominion invasion forces. Dante had known it was over from the get go. The entire Fleet garrisoned to protect the Betazoid homeworld had been caught unawares, too distracted by their training exercises in the neighbouring system to surmount any defence before the Dominion arrived. Every now and again, the city would shake tremendously, an aftershock caused by the downing of some of the ships. Starfleet’s desperation to succeed, paired with the Dominion’s arrogance, had led to the more inexperienced Captains battling close to the atmosphere of the planet.

As soon as the alert was raised Dante had jumped into action. He’d scoured the city, assessing the meagre ground forces available, and weighing up their options. The poorly trained Betazoid Security Force proved useless, due in part to the relative peace Betazoid had enjoyed for centuries past. Within an hour the Fleeters were on the run, most of the beaten defenders had engaged the Dominion prior, they’d go down fighting over capture.

His sniper rifle was tucked firmly into shoulder has he swept the destruction wrought from the destruction. He moved quietly, and with purpose, as he traversed the city in search of sanctuary. Once the war had broken out, Starfleet Intelligence had built a series of bunkers on the Federation planets with strategic importance. If the Dominion made it to those planets, the Intel personnel were ordered to go to ground and prepare for potential invasion. From there the spooks were to report any intel they could gather that would help Starfleet retake the planet.

As far as he was aware, he was the only spook on the ground within a reasonable distance of the bunker. He was hoping he could change that along the way. He wouldn’t be the man who sought sanctuary in the abandon of others. He’d collect any Starfleet personnel he encountered along the way.

It didn’t take him long to start.

As he rounded another non-distinct corner within the civilian district he found himself witnessing a minor skirmish between Federation forces and the Jem’Hadar. He watched them for a moment, both parties too absorbed in securing their own survival to observe the Intel Officer. A small multi-branch platoon of gold and green, stood their ground firmly as they sent an almost continuous stream of phaser fire at their enemies.

His survey was quickly cut short with the felling of a marine. Dante quickly took aim for the Jem’Hadar position with his rifle, knocking the switch that switched through the rifles modes - he’d always been more proficient with bolts.

The sudden distraction caused by his volley provided an opening that allowed him to quickly slide in with the others. “Lieutenant Dante Xinthia, sitrep?” he shouted out as he continued shooting at the Jem’Hadar position.

“The Tenth Fleet is withdrawing, sir. Orbital Defences have been destroyed, the fleet is crippled” a marine reported coolly, never taking his eyes of their enemies, “an emergency evacuation of all Starfleet personnel was ordered 30 minutes ago, those who didn’t make it to the designated zones in time were left behind. The Betazoid government is preparing to surrender”.

Dante frowned, of course it was over. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a safe location lined up, follow me if you want to live” he ordered as he withdrew behind cover. For a moment he quietly tinkered with his rifle disabling his safety features, then calibrating the power core to overcharge. Once done he threw the rifle at the Jem’Hadar, “NOW!” he bellowed as the rifle sailed through the air. They all jumped into action, chasing the blonde man down the alleyway to their rear.

The sound of the rifle exploding punctuated their departure.

For around 10 minutes the party ducked and weaved their way through the rubble littered streets quietly, the others keeping a keen eye on the El-Aurian. It didn’t take them long to come upon a small storefront, “Get in” Dante ordered - he hoped the destruction hadn’t blocked their entrance.

“Where are you taking us?” a security crewman whispered, clearly unimpressed with the destination Dante had delivered them to.

“Stay where you are” was the only response they got before Dante pulled his left sleeve back, exposing a screen attached to his wrist by a metallic strap. He tapped away patiently as he entered authorization codes and notified the system of his guests. Before long a stream of enemy encapsulated the party, the sign of a transporter doing its job.

Once their atoms had been deconstructed, the room fell silent, leaving no trace of the Fleeters that had occupied seconds later.

“Welcome home,” Dante murmured once they all rematerialised in the bunker, before jumping to work. He still had to secure their home from detection before they were out of the red.

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - A romantic confestion

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Commander Aurelia Holmes & Lieutenant Commander Gary Taylor

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: Lia's Cabin

Timeline: Current

ON

Lia paced her cabin deep in thought, she had to speak to Taylor. But catching him was like catching smoke, in fact Lia felt she probably could catch smoke quicker. She decided to meet the problem head on, she would invite him to her cabin. That should do it, either that or have him running for the hills.

=^="Holmes to Taylor, could you please report to my cabin. We have unfinished business to resolve, thank you out!"=^= Now all she had to do was wait and see.

Gary heard Lia's message and the underlying tenseness? Within it. =^= "Certainly Commander, I will be there within five minutes".=^= He answered and then immediately began to wonder what was wrong, though he had a feeling he knew. Only one way to be sure he mused and that was to go to Lia's cabin and find out.

*Four and half minutes later*

Gary stood outside Lia's cabin and rang the chime to gain admittance. He felt like a schoolboy out on his first date, driving his dad's shiny new car. * Get a grip Taylor!* He mentally scolded himself, *She just wants to talk to you, It could be about anything.* Yet even as he said it, he waited nervously.

In the short time it had taken Taylor to arrive, Lia had change out of her uniform. She now stood dressed in a long blue maxi skirt with a white short kimono top and Japanese house slippers on, She opened the door. "Hi there, you wanna come in? Or are you gonna run for the hill's?" She smiled as she spoke, "I think it's time we had our little talk, don't you?" Lia lead Taylor over to a soft chair and motioned him to sit, "Before we get started, do you want anything to drink? Tea, Coffee, something stronger?" She headed for the replicator, "I'm just having a Coffee myself, not a drinker you see. Father was a bit of an alcoholic, Mother just made excuses for him. Even when he overstepped the mark with me, she just turned a blind eye". She ordered her Coffee, and waited for Taylor to respond.

Gary stared at her,Lia in uniform was attractive, out of it, well in civilian clothes was breath taking! He said nothing for a moment just drank in the vision before him. Finally he spoke, "I think it's best, I come in for our talk." he admitted as Lia led him to a chair and he sat down. He listened as she ran through drink options and explained she wasn't a drinker. "No, nothing for me... at least not yet." He answered quietly. His head snapped up and around at her stating her father had overstepped himself with her. "Your father um was overly familiar with you?" Even as he asked it his blood began to boil at the thought of someone abusing her.

Lia picked up the tone in Taylor's voice when he spoke of her Father, "Lets just say I never chose to loose my virginity, like many things in my life it was just taken". She took a deep breath and collected her Coffee, she turned and made for a chair opposite Taylor. "It was a long time ago, and another lifetime away". She sat down and looked into those eyes, "But that's not why your here, is it? We have to sort out our relationship, starting with your wife". She shifted to get more comfortable, "Needless to say I can't be a plaything for anyone, I guess you could say I'm not that strong. So you want to explain what happens next?" In opening up to Taylor, she knew it could backfire. But something told her he wouldn't hold it against her, a surprise for Lia in the trust department.

Gary listened in silence as Lia spoke of her father and what he had done. When she had finished he spoke. "I'm sorry Lia. For your pain and what he did. You should have castrated the bastard." Venom seeping into his tone. He shook his head, "No, that's not why I'm here. Yes we do and I wouldn't expect you to be a plaything, that isn't fair to you." He paused for a moment before continuing, 'As for my wife and you have to trust me on this and I know what you said before about trusting me. You have nothing to worry about from her. She won't be an issue for us."

The way Taylor stated his wife "Won't be an issue", shook her. "Gary, I can call you that can't I? look I'm a little confused here, why won't your wife be a problem? I won't be a hobby for you, I react badly to that kind of thing. I've had more than my fair share of part time lovers, not this time. This time the guy is all mine, or we go our separate ways". She was breathing heavily, "Rape can do that to a girl you know, make her difficult a bitch even. I'm worse, I'm the Harpy from hell. I'll split you seven ways, come back and do it again. I'm telling you all this so you know what exactly your getting into, like I said honest not what you want to hear". She stood up, "If you want to head for the hill's, now's the time. I'm going for another Coffee, if you stay I will want answers and reactions".

He sat quietly, taking in all she was saying and had said. He realized Lia was baring her soul to him, letting him see her inner self and he knew what that took. He had spent so long putting up walls and keeping people out perhaps it was time to let one person in. He shook his head, " Yes you can call me Gary, it is my name after all." A humorless smile crossing his face fleetingly. Before he added the next,"I don't run. I'm staying." He replied simply as he watched her go fetch another coffee. "No, you deserve more than a part time lover." He agreed softly and you also deserve answers."

There was that voice again, the voice that gently sucked you in and trapped you. Lia turned but stayed at the replicator, "Why do I get the feeling your a little like me? I've read your file you know, we have one thing in common. We don't trust other people, so how the hell did we end up here?" She sipped her Coffee, "When do I get the unabridged version of your life and times? Or is that off limits?" She placed the mug back on the replicator, "Gary, talk to me!" She slipped her slippers off and began undoing her top, "Is this what you want? Will this get you to open up to me?" Tears started to form in her eyes, "Take it if you want it, everyone else did. Why should you be any different? Just don't expect me to enjoy it, and never turn your back on me". Her top hung loose exposing her bra and breasts, she was breathing heavily again as she held her tears in check. Why did she think it would be different this time? After all, he's just a man.

He stood up, anger flashing in his eyes as Lia undid her top. He crossed the room instantly to where she stood. "Don't ever do that again! You are so much better than that. You don't need to throw or cheapen yourself for me or any man." His voice hard but not without feeling. "I'm not everyone Lia." He said as way of a defense, reply. "I see a beautiful intelligent woman.One I want to know better, much better but I won't take it. It has to be freely given on both our parts if this is to work." As a hand came up and gently wiped away her tears. "You read my file, so you know what anyone who reads it knows, my time in that jungle hellhole of a Romulan POW camp." He took off his uniform tunic exposing the ugly scars on his chest and back."This is what they did and no one besides Catlin, you and the doctors has ever seen this." He sighed, "Your right, you know I don't trust other people but I do trust you for all our arguments, I do trust you. What you don't know and no one else on this ship does either....." A deep breath and he looked away for a minute, his eyes loosing their focus before he returned t gaze at her, his eyes now moist, "But are about to find out, is Catlin is dead. A message was sent to me just after boarding ship. She died in a hover car accident." His voice winding down like a clock spring. "Now you know."

Lia felt a hammer blow to her chest, she slowly closed her top. "I didn't know, I'm sorry". She felt him wipe her tears away, normally she would flinch when a man touched her that way. But not him, not Gary. Why? She crossed to the chair and sat down, "I knew about the camp, and the scars. Someone must have updated your file, as for doing this again". She pointed at her top, "Not a hope in hell, you wouldn't believe how scared I am right now. So many times men have just help themselves, do I have a sign that says my body is for free?" She looked up at him standing there, "Why have you kept your wife's death secret?" Her mind was in turmoil, how do you help? What do you say? She stood back up and crossed back to him, slowly hesitantly she embraced him holding him close. "One day I will give you myself freely, but not today. Just hold me, I won't break".

He shook his head."No, you don't and you aren't property. I never want you afraid of me, that's the last thing I want. I want you to trust me, get angry or frustrated with me, curse me and mostly love me but never be afraid of me."Why?" He repeated as his arms came up to encircle and hold Lia, gently to his chest. "When I returned from the camp only Catlin was there only she loved me, helped me back from a truly dark and terrible place. Others gave me pity either through words or actions and even looks. I've had enough of pity! I don't want it. Understanding, sympathy are fine but not pity. Besides, it's none of anyone's business. I know and now you know." He offered a weak lopsided smile. "I'll hold you forever if that's what it takes. I know you won't break, you're tougher than that. As for giving yourself freely one day. I can wait, I have all the time in the world."

She laid her head on his chest, his heart was beating out a fast rhythm which entranced her. "Trust will come one day as well, I won't tell anyone about what we've spoken about. I promise you that, as for cursing you. That's a given". She smiled as she spoke, nestling into Gary. Her guard down, he could have done anything to her before she reacted. But all he did was hold her, as she asked. Slowly she pulled away, and turned towards the replicator. "I need a Coffee, what about you?" Her hand shook as she picked up her mug, quickly she replaced it on the counter. "Guess my nerves are really shot through, I almost feel faint". She stood both hands on the counter, "Now is the time of our nightmare, I can't seem to stop shaking. Do you always have this effect on women?" Lia was trying to make light of her situation, but fear was creeping into her mind. She was basically helpless, and he now knew it. what would he do?

"Fair enough." He replied simply. There was no reason for long winded replies, they both knew where they stood and what was going on. "No,nothing for me thanks." he said quietly as he watched and listened to her talk about her nerves. He shook his head at her attempt at a joke. "Not usually." He admitted. As he moved to her side. "Your like a scared little rabbit. Come sit on the couch and relax. Nothing to be afraid of." He said gently as he placed one hand on her elbow to steer her to the couch. "If you still want coffee I'll bring the cup to you. You just stay put. Thank you as well for not telling anyone about.... " he paused and took a breath before continuing "About what we discussed. I appreciate it."

His closeness frightened her, she awaited the groping and the filthy incursions that normally followed..... Nothing..... Just a gentle touch to her arm and help to sit down, not even an attempt at touching what she had so readily exposed. She looked up at him, "Thanks, but I'll pass on the Coffee. Can I be rude and ask if we can continue at a later time, my mind is shot and I'm scared. Sorry Gary, but I am. It's nothing you've done, believe me". Her eye's began to fill with tears again, "Maybe I'm not ready for this, maybe I'll never be ready for this. I'm to damaged to have a normal relationship, to far gone to enjoy a healthy, happy relationship". In her heart she felt a pain, the pain of longing for someone to care. But there was also fear, fear of abuse, fear of rejection, fear of being left alone.

"You aren't being rude Lia. It's been an eventful evening." His voice soft and understanding no traces of recriminations or defensiveness in it. He shook his head in disagreement at her self analysis, "You're wrong Lia where you see damage, I see an incredibly beautiful, intelligent resilient woman who has gone through some awful episodes in her life but still has the courage to get out of bed every morning, put one foot in foot of the other and keep moving forward." He headed for her door but stopped just before leaving turning back to look her in the eye. "And that Lia is real courage. Good night." With that he was gone.

She watched him leave, as the doors closed she openly cried. The stark difference between her on duty persona, and her private life was as wide as the grand canyon. Sniffing and half blind with tears she felt for a tissue, finding one she wiped her eye's and blew her nose. What the hell did he really think of her? Changing into a nightdress Lia headed for the bed, she sat staring out at nothing her mind spinning and tumbling with thoughts and fears and hope. Climbing into bed Lia now spoke, "Computer, lights off". How hollow those words sounded, she looked around her quarters....Empty save for her.... How typical she thought, she had a chance of happiness and she blew it.

LT(JG) Shiannah Shannas's Personal Log - Hell is (sometimes) other people... sometimes just yourself.

The following is a personal log from LT(JG) Shiannah Shannas.

ON:

Shiannah looked at the mirror, her face reflected there seemed to be that of someone else, the crows feet at the edge of her eyes and the lines of worry at her mouth. She could, she thought, still turn heads though she felt old... So god-damned old amongst this team of youngsters who made up the bulk of the USS Elysium's crew. "By the Gods... I'm old enough to their mother!" she exclaimed thinking back to the young Marine in the Shuttle Bay. Was he really attracted to her or was it just some god-damn mother fixation?

Like most times when somehting niggled her she forgot about it and ran a brush through her long dark hair, even if it was lightly filigreed with gray. She suddenly laughed to herself, the sound girlish and youthful at least.

"At least you made it this far" she muttered as she applied just the slightest hint of kohl eyeliner. She thought of all those who hadn't made it, trying to recall the faces of the lost and the dead. So many souls gone to whatever Heaven or Moksha... Nirvana or whatever they believed in. Perhaps they were reborn somewhere out there amongst the stars? She liked to think so...

Someone had said once that Hell is other people...

"Sometimes it's just yourself" she mused, as she brushed an imaginery crease from the long silk gown she wore a long slit revelaing a still shapely amount of leg. She tied a gossamer thin matching scarf about her neck. Checking herself out in the mirror she smiled and walked out of her quarters, the door quietly swishing closed behind her.

LTCMDR Gary Taylor's Personal Log - Alone Again......Naturally

The following is a personal log from LTCMDR Gary Taylor.

Gary had returned to his quarters after leaving Lia. His conversation with her was an eye opener to say the least. He hoped she would take his words to heart and realize he was telling her the truth. She was a courageous, intelligent woman. Now she just needed to believe and accept it. He walked slowly through his quarters never feeling more alone than he did right now. Entering the bedroom he sat on the side of the bed and gazed lovingly at a picture of Catlin on his bedside table. "I miss you Catlin, I miss you so much! It wasn't suppose to be like this. I was going to come home to you and we were going to start a family and just settle down. Spend some good old fashion quality time together."

He fell back on the bed holding the picture, gazing at the picture with love in his eyes. "You weren't suppose to die Catlin! He screamed in anguished pain. "I need you!" The pain of her death like a knife in his heart. It had robbed him of everything he held dear in life which was Catlin. She was the one constant he could always count on, his guiding light and now she was gone. He sopped as tears began to stream down his face like twin rivers as the emotions he had kept so tightly under control and hidden from view finally broke through and he wept uncontrollably. Lying there weeping, the overwhelming loss he felt from Catlin's death threaten to crush him, drown him in overwhelming grief. It had done the one thing the Romulan's and all their beatings had never been able to do, it broke him. He was truly alone, adrift on uncertain tides just bobbing aimlessly. There was no one for him and the universe turned a blind eye and deaf ear to him. Frankly it didn't care in the least about how one insignificant human male felt.

In his darkest hour at his most vulnerable, Gary Taylor truly was alone again....... naturally.

LTCMDR Aurelia Holmes's Personal Log - Afterthoughts and aftershocks

The following is a personal log from LTCMDR Aurelia Holmes.

"Computer, record personal log.

It's been several hours since Commander Taylor left. He did say I could call him Gary, but after what happened I'm not so sure he's even going to want to talk to me. I let slip some family ghosts and past failed relationship details, then chose to do something really stupid. That made him mad, and me scared. Just how I'm going to be able to face him on the bridge or even in the corridor, I just don't know. What if he reports it all to the Captain? My whole career could sink without trace, why do I even try to trust men? I'm still a little shaky even now, tried to get some sleep but couldn't. Things couldn't have started better, he arrived we talked we got into deep talk. Then I go stripping off and shouting at him to talk to me about his private life, like he's going to do that with some nut job whose half naked. What the hell was I thinking? Where the hell was my self control?

My life is a bloody shambles right now, and like some schoolgirl I go looking for love. Me looking for love??? Have you ever heard of anything so bloody daft in your life? Now some MAN has my life in his hands, I suppose the old threats will start soon. You know the ones, (Give me sex and I'll keep my mouth shut) and (Oh come on now, it's only me and my three or four friends. You can handle that, or do I report you to Star Fleet General Command). I wonder how long it will take? They just can't help themselves, a pair of boobs and a comfort hole and they just got to have them. And share them, just to show they have the power to make you do what ever they want.

I could always go to the Captain first, and ask to be transferred. But then she would want to the flipping reason, and the shit would hit the fan. What do I do? I can't even talk to the councillor, 1 she doesn't like me and 2 she would report to the Captain because I'm in a command position. I wonder if I could bluff that Gorn doctor, see if he would give me a sleeping pill or two. I could save them up, only need nine or ten. I will wait and see what happens tomorrow, computer save log and place it in my personal file under countdown. End log".

LTCMDR Tate Sullivan Ph.D.'s Personal Log - Chief Counselor's Duty Log #1 - "Hitting the Ground Running"

The following is a personal log from LTCMDR Tate Sullivan Ph.D..

Where do I even begin?

I must admit, when I found out I was being assigned to the USS Elysium, I wasn't sure how to feel at first. Was is a step backward because I had been here before? Certainly, some people I talked to wondered that aloud. Granted, many of these same people were particularly ambitious in their own careers and more prone to some pretty unusual conspiracy theories to justify why things may not go their way. I suppose some people believe if they're not moving up to bigger postings with larger populations, they aren't really advancing, but I never bought into that. I know people aboard some of the largest starships that exist who complain that all they ever do is ferry people back and forth and participate in dog and pony shows for the Starfleet brass. I also knew people on the smallest ships who discussed doing more in a couple of hours to promote safety and diplomacy than an entire contingency of security officers or diplomats could accomplish in a decade. To reference a rather colorful phrase, I never believed size mattered.

While others tended to look at my reassignment with suspicion, I chose to see it as a compliment. I say that with no trace of arrogance or pride. It meant a lot to me the brass trusted me to come back here to oversee mental health services after this crew had been through so much. I'm still in the process of discovering all of the details, and more accurately, discovering the full extent of the aftermath, but in so many ways, it still felt like coming home again. The sights, smells, and the overall feel of things holds a trace of familiarity. I never thought I would say anything like that in my career, and it's not lost on me how much I sound like an engineer, but then again, how often does anyone get to revisit a form of posting?

In my short time aboard, I've also been reminded how much things have changed, and how it doesn't appear things are going to get any easier or slow down for this crew in the future. I'm not sure if I've ever heard of an explosion happening on the ship without combat being involved, but that's exactly what we recently experienced. I'm not exactly sure what we know yet in terms of who or what's responsible. All I know is that I'm tired and I'm sad, and even without psionic abilities, there is a tension in the air. On top of that, a young pregnant girl got caught up in the explosion, just the second, though only literal bomb she's had to deal with.

I also have a great deal of empathy for the Captain. She knows this crew fairly well, I gather, but even she has to have her breaking point. After everything she has been through with them, I can't imagine having all of this on her shoulders is easy. I want to be there to support her, and I hope she will let me, but I understand it's going to take time.

In the meantime, I am committed to moving forward as best I can.

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - All in a days work – morning

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Dyhei Liducca

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: Dyhei's Quarters --> Science Decks

Timeline: MD1, 0620

Shuffling herself out if bed, in a still dark room, still but not quite with the time notification bleeding away every twenty seconds. Effectively annoying enough to rouse her most mornings. At least this time if was a time notification and not an alert klaxon. Dyhei punches at the keypad which, acording to her preferances, both silenced and put the lights up all across her quarters, extra bright in her room for the first thirty seconds to ensure she stayed awake, squeezing against the brightness she moved to the main room and issued a number of commands to get her day started. "Computer,display current active projects and labs used on personal terminal. Access replicator, tea, Bolian, Bergamot hint. Toasted Mapa Bread, pot of Preserve, random flavor selection."

As she stood by the replicator the computer suddenly a bounced.

[Advisory. Lieutenant Liducca, you have eight outstanding administration items to complete from stardate 224782.3]

She groaned and lent against the bulkhead, while pulling hair back into some sort of rough ponytail. "Cast to personal terminal, let's sort those over breakfast shall we." taking both cup and plate from the dispensing tray and crossing to a work desk, settling down and started working through the forms and reports, at regular intervals a hand reaching for the drink of food almost without thought or breaking her concentration on the task before her. As she worked the lingering thought that something was missing sat in her mind, a caring hand on her shoulder, or a squeeze around her shoulders, even six years on in these quite moments, the echos of the relationship she once had grew stronger. Dyhei stopped and picked up her mug starring out of the window catching sight of the 'tails' of stars, the visual reminder of the faster than light speed they were traveling at, she smiled and returned to work, just two more reports to go then the day really started.

Breakfast finished she hurried to the shower, casting away her thin night clothes as she did, stepping into the cubical she allowed the invisible waves to wash over her, eyes closed in contentment as she allowed the 'shower' to work its magic coaxing rested muscles bake to a ready state ready for the day ahead.

Dressing quickly in standard uniform, then strolling out into the corridor and turning towards the turobift stop, and soon found herself on the science decks. A smile from the enlisted science mate, who seemed to have sussed her enough to be standing outside Stellar Cartography first thing in the morning. "Hey I'm up to date with admin, did it all this morning." The Hybrid called as she approached. "I saw, I have a request from one of the biology groups to ha e double lab permission until we get to Gamma Quadrant, a double blind study." He stated handing a padd over.

"That's first stop on our morning rounds then." She stated taking the padd without looking at it contents just yet, Dyhei was not one for meetings as a way of keeping up with goings one preferring a daily walk around instead, usually in the morning and patted the frame to her favourite lab and out loud said. "There, there, I'll visit later and we can go exploring." Turning to the bemused enlisted man, offering no other explination than shrugging. "Shall we?"

Intelligence... or perhaps not!

A Mission Post by Lieutenant JG Shiannah Shannas & Ensign Aldek

Mission: Episode 0: History Speaks

Location: CIO, Deck 44, USS Elysium

Timeline: MD2 (pre-Mission Launch)

On:

Shiannah looked up from the PaDD, her eyes growing tired with the relentless scrolling lists of crew replacements and scanning background checks on the new arrivals and guests – an SOP [OOC: "Standard Operating Procedure"] Intelligence review for insurgents and possible trouble makers. She would pass on a short list of her recommendations and people to watch out for to her counter-part, LT Stiegalle, 2iC in the Tac/Security Dept. on the Elysium.

She looked up and, with a surprised raised eyebrow, discovered a steaming cup of what smelt like a fine Arabica bean blend of coffee.

“It, looked, sir that you required a respite however brief from your work” Ensign Aldek mused as he stood before Shiannah’s desk. She’d been so engrossed in the monotonous work that the Vulcan may as well have been transported there and she doubted she would have noticed. Aldek raised an eyebrow at Shiannah’s obvious unease.

“You know” she said “I could always find a replacement Encryption Specialist amongst the recruits!”

“And then go through the laborious task of re-training them to your special ‘requirements’ and coffee requirements… I doubt it” the Vulcan replied drolly as he sipped from a cup of green tea. Aldek looked over at the 2iC of the Intelligence Section and thought she looked tired though didn’t mention it to his immediate superior. He had a soft spot for Shiannah and had secretly memorised many of her little mannerisms though, if she ever found out, the Vulcan would be truly mortified.

“You should learn to deputise, Shiannah” the Vulcan added.

“Deputise… pah” Shiannah replied looking at the tall skeletally thin Vulcan. “I do little enough aboard the Elysium to warrant my rank. Never mind ‘deputising’ my day-to-day workload to a workaholic Vulcan who don’t seem to require sleep”

“Ah, I forgot how that specific blend makes you irritable” Aldek mused. “In future I will replicate a more subtle and mellowing blend”

“I’ll give you feckin’ irritable” Shiannah snapped then, paused, looking at the Vulcan. “You did that on purpose you puerile pointy eared geek” she laughed, sitting back and relaxing. Then she gathered her thoughts, putting aside her PaDD. “I think I will deputise…” she said after a quiet moment. “Tell you what, Aldek, see what you can find out about our new Departmental Head… Oh, I don’t mean what’s on his Personnel File. Find out about LT Xithia’s past and any nitty gritty details”

“’Nitty gritty!’ indeed” Aldek replied then sighed as he finished his green tea. “I will do what you ask… I suppose that’s what you get for making suggestions” he muttered under his breath.

Shiannah waved a hand as the tall Vulcan stalked away like some giant praying mantis. She whistled a little tune as she returned to the PaDD…

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - What a surprise.... maybe

A Mission Post by Commander Phoenix Lalor & Miran Lalor Ms

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: DS9, Promenade Deck

Timeline: MD 2, 14h

Miran walked silently beside her older sister as they walked the promenade deck of DS9. This was boring. A glance at her sister showed the same boredom on her sister's face.

"Why?" she asked under her breath "are we doing this?"

"You wanted to get off the ship." Phoenix muttered back.

"True," the fourteen year old muttered back. Then she looked up and froze. "Pene" she got out between frozen lips.

Phoenix looked up and stopped in her tracks. There, on the promenade deck, about 4 meters away, surrounded by several officers of the Erisan armed forces, was a man she had never thought to see again. "Miran," she said softly her eyes sweeping the deck around them. "Beam back to the Elysium. Now."

A brief nod and her sister hit her comm and was gone seconds later. Leaving Phoenix alone, on the Promenade, amidst multitudes of different races and facing down Prince Alexandre Lath. Brother of her former best friend. A man who, had been her betrothed best friend. His rank pips gleamed on his shoulders. Tazys. A major now. His rank was the equivalent to her own within Starfleet.

She didn't move, allowed them to come to her. Alexandre swept up and gave her a proper bow. "Your Royal Highness." he said, his hand instinctively reaching for hers which she gave just as instinctively. He pressed his lips to the back of her hand and released her hand.

"Tazys Lath." She replied, using the proper protocol in her response. "What a pleasant surprise." She said softly. Her gaze swept the others who still stood behind Alexandre. They made no move to intercept.

"You need not worry Your highness." Alexandre said calmly.

She noted that his Standard was perfect. But then he was always good with languages. "Really? You are not here to arrest me? To drag myself and my sister back to Erisa?"

"No. I am here to complete a trade mission." Alexandre replied. "You should however take care."

She raised an eyebrow. A warning? Even more strange. "Really?"

Alexandre nodded. "Your family is not happy as you know. And they will take any chance to pull you down."

Phoenix knew that. "I am aware of this Tazys."

He inclined his head, then his lips twitched in a small smirk. "Male trousers Penelope? You look surprisingly good in them."

She gave him his smirk back in spades "I always look good Alexandre." she drawled. "But thank you for the compliment."

He bowed again. "I see you are commanding your own vessel now. Is it the large one currently docked?"

"The Elysium." Phoenix replied. "My Inheritance as some would call her. Her former CO left her in my hands. Why? Interested in defecting?" she half taunted.

"Not likely." He replied almost stiffly. Then he lowered his voice so only she could hear. "Keep an eye out highness. I will send you information that will assist you." Then he bowed and with a curt head jerk, led his men around her and into the crowd.

Phoenix watched him leave and then, quelling a shiver, slapped her badge and beamed back to the Elysium.

==

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - Exit and Enter

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Liam Vir

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: DS9 and USS Elysium

Timeline: MD2: 1200-1430

== DS9 ==

Contempt was a strong word. But in this case, Liam really felt some of it while being on DS9.

He had to remember that it'd been nineteen years since that horrid war from the wormhole ended. He'd only spent a few days on and off over the course of it here, but still...everything about this place echoed the loss from that time. Maybe it was just the old Cardassian architecture from the occupation days of Bajor. It just felt repressive in a way.

As he didn't know anyone here, the El-Aurian was sitting alone at the still operating Vulcan restaurant that he had only heard about in 2375. Surprisingly they had added Romulan dishes as well, as they were now run by some refugees from once-Romulus. Yet another sore spot. But that was a subject for another time.

The PaDD on his small table contained the specs on the USS Elysium. He'd been studying it for a few hours every day, since getting his orders to report in. Dammed if he had everything memorised just yet. One could know all the numbers and schematics in the databanks, but without being inside her hull, it was beret of any first-hand experience. There was only one way to change that. He'd stalled going aboard since the ship had docked.

Standing up from his eaten meal, he tugged on his uniform while scooping up the PaDD and his small luggage and left the promenade. Eventually, he found himself at the docking rings. From his vantage the Elysium was almost another station in itself. She had to be one of, if not the biggest ship in service currently. ~That's heaps of power to manage~, he thought. Yeah, it was going to be quite the task in operations.

Two crewmembers in gold were standing watch at the entrance. Tapping the PaDD to display his orders, Liam walked over to the Ensign at his right. "Permission to come aboard", he said as he handed her the device.

The Benzite Ensign gave Liam a smile. She didn't have a respirator, meaning she was one of the genetically modified members of her species. Smart given her job in security. She went and skimmed through the orders, before handing it back. "Our new Chief of Operations?" She gave an off chuckle. "The first officer was about to send a search party after you, but welcome aboard Lieutenant Vir, sir. I'm Ensign Berdar. "

Liam gave his usual nod in response. "Thank you Ensign." He thought for a moment about reporting directly in to the XO, or even the Captain, but he wanted to get started on settling in first. "Could you tell me where my quarters might be located by chance?"

Berdar went over to the wall display that was connected to the docking rings monitor and pressed a few buttons. "One moment..." She had to zoom in some as the graphic was small than normal. "You'd be with the other senior officers, on deck seventeen sir. I'll upload the number to your PaDD." With another few press of the buttons, she did that and closed the display. "The nearest turbolift will be directly to your right as you enter the ship. Was there anything else Lieutenant?" She went back to her standing position.

Shaking his no, Liam said, "Negative. Much obliged though. Cheers." And with that he walked across the docking port.

== USS Elysium ==

Deck seventeen opened up to Liams view as he stepped out of the turbolift. ~I could get lost on this ship.~ Not wanting to do just yet, he brought up his PaDD and looked up his quarters number that Ensign Berdar had so nicely done for him. Following the map, he passed by a transporter room and paused there, smiling. Part of him wanted to go in an poke about for a few hours. A transporter room was where it all started, and although it hadn't been the best experience, it was his lifesaver. The best invention next to the warp drive in his opinion. Before he could get caught up in more memories, the transporter operator had noticed him. Clearing his throat Liam spoke up. "Sorry to barge in. I was just um...reminiscing to myself." He walked over and saw the two chevrons on the possibly Human mans collar. "Lieutenant Vir, the new Chief of Ops. Petty Officer..?"

The dark skinned and bald man raised his hand out for a handshake. "Petty Officer Walker, at your service sir. Reminiscing? You were a transporter operator sir?"

Liam grabbed his hand and shook it, letting the other man let go first. He looked around again and nodded. "Long time ago actually. Back when I was a Crewman, starting in Starfleet. It changed my life, literally." Liam held in the why part. "Anyways, I'll leave you to it Petty Officer. Have a good day." He walked out, in his usual awkward fashion. There would be time to get to know those in his department later. It was nice to know there was a transporter room not to far from where he lived now.

Passing a few civilians, he finally found his way to his new quarters. Stepping inside, he found a room that was bigger than most Captains quarters he'd ever seen. ~What in the heck would I do with all this space?~ All he ever had needed was a small room with a bed, bathroom, a desk and a replicator. He walked over to the window, which he was glad to have, and dropped his bag and PaDD down. Staring out for a few minutes he turned back to the room. What few things he collected would be brought over by the quartermaster later. Still, not counting a drum or two it wouldn't fill up much space.

But home was what one made of it. And he'd try his hardest to do something. Picking up his bag again, while placing the PaDD down onto the nearby desk. Opening up the bag, he took out the spare uniform to his closet and a few of his gemstones, laying them up on a shelf. It was a start. With the physical stuff out of the way, he wanted to get some work prep done. Walking over to the replicator he ordered up a drink. "Tea, jasmine, hot." It appeared a moment later, with the familiar matter swirl, and he grabbed it to sit down at the desk console. Bringing up the Operations department manifest, Liam looked at the people he was going to be overseeing and began to read their personnel files. He noticed the previous Chief had done a tremendous job, before she transferred as an instructor on board. Big shoes to fill.

Time flew by and before he knew it over an hour had passed. Looking at the chrono display he noticed it was now past 1400 hours. ~Frak, I'd better go see the CO.~ Standing up, he put the now empty teacup back into the replicator to recycle, then tapped his combadge. "Computer, please locate Commander Lalor."

A voice different than the one he'd heard for the last thirty years replied. Liam did a mental face-palm in forgetting that the Elysium had a unique AI helping to run her, named Avalon. ~Now there's something, no someone, I'd like to meet.~ The El-Aurian was very pro-artificial life and felt few strides had been made since Data and the Doctor had gained their rights. Again though, another subject for another time.

Exiting his quarters, he quickly hoped his first meeting with the Captain wouldn't be a disaster, but a good start.

Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be - Flowers on the Grave

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Commander Liselle Qwyyn

Mission: Episode 3: Such as we are made of, such we be

Location: Deep Space Nine - Promenade

Timeline: MD 2 - 14h00

As Liselle Qwyyn walked along the promenade of Deep Space Nine, a dozen distractions reached out to her and grabbed for her attention.

Lights flashed.

People scurried by.

Faces from countless species ebbed and flowed within the man-made channels of alien traffic that spilled out around her, sapients of all manner of colors and configurations and sizes made their way from restaurants to transport vessels. From hotels to bars. From holosuites to turbolifts. From bars to holding cells.

Sounds flashed.

People scurried by.

But Qwyyn was focused. She found herself falling into a crowd of Bajorans, and she was grateful for the buffer they provided between herself and those strangers that occupied every square centimeter available in the walking space around her. The cloister of Bajorans made their way to the station's temple, and there Qwyyn broke away from their group, allowing them to enter while she remained a respectful distance from its entrance.

Liselle was quiet, contemplative. She walked to a nearby wall that surrounded the temple enclave, and once there she placed a delicate hand against its surface. Beneath her fingertips she could feel cold metal.

Here.

Here was where it had happened.

She could almost feel it.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked her.

She turned around in surprise.

A slim Starfleet officer stood with his hands behind his back, looking at her expectantly. He was attractive, rather young for his rank. His eyes belied a kindness she rarely saw so close to the wormhole.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she stammered to him. She pointed to the wall behind her. "I was just paying my respects."

The man smiled, his amusement bringing warmth into his features. "You knew the man who painted these walls, Commander?" he teased.

There was something in his voice that reminded her of Admiral Myrkul Sharr. A certain poetic lilt to his accent. It was in the way he said 'commander.' She imagined she'd hear the very same inflections Sharr once used if she asked this man to say 'tomato' or 'schedule.' Toe-matt-toe. Shed-yul.

"Are you El-Aurian, Lieutenant?" she asked.

"Human, actually," he said. "And it's Doctor."

Doctor. Another word that carried that inexplicably attractive accent. The Doctor held out an encouraging hand, palm up. He was certainly earnest if nothing else. "Please continue. I'd love to hear more about this painter of yours."

"No painters, I'm afraid." Qwyyn said with a sad shake of her head. "There was a woman who died here. I wanted to say goodbye to her."

The Doctor swallowed then. The light in his eyes darkened. The good humor faded. He dipped his head for a moment. In respect perhaps. Remembrance. Anger? He looked up at Qwyyn again. "She was a friend of yours?"

Again Liselle shook her head. "No. I've never met her before," she admitted. She found her hands going subconsciously to her pouch where the Qwyyn symbiont nestled. "I'm joined," she said by means of explanation. "One of my previous hosts was a Trill Guardian. They tend to be very old and stoic men who live in the caves on Trill and they --"

The Doctor held up a hand. "I actually know a great deal about the Guardians. I've had the opportunity to meet a few."

She raised a brow at that. "I see. That's...unusual. Well, the Guardians have a unique respect for the joined. A profound respect. Many of our kind remember either the symbiont or the host before the joining, but few share our degree of reverence for what exists when the two share a life. While many take comfort in the symbiont living on in a new host, we Guardians deeply mourn the unique and precious being that has been lost when a joined Trill passes." She stepped back to the wall and placed her hand there again. She closed her eyes. Breathed. Slowly. "It's like I can feel her. A proper Guardian would have the training and discipline to hear her echo." She smiled, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. She nodded, as if to unheard music. "Yes. I think I can feel her." Her eyes opened again. She looked at the Doctor, her expression far from confident. "But maybe I'm just letting my imagination get away from me."

To her surprise, she found the Doctor's attention was absolutely rapt. "Is she...saying anything to you?" he asked, a tinge of hope saturating his question.

"No. It's...This is not a seance. It's more of a ritual. I'm trying to --" She took a sharp breath then, as if suddenly snapping back into reality. She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This was silly of me. Even for me this was silly. I shouldn't have -- I really should go."

She stepped around the Doctor and started toward the docking pylon.

"Wait!"

She stopped and turned back to him.

For a moment he seemed unable to find his words. The fingers of either hand fidgeted with one another for a moment until finally he pointed to a restaurant nearby. "Would you care to join me for dinner?" he asked. "I could tell you all about her. Bring you up to date for your Guardian archives or whatever."

Liselle gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up old memories. It was my previous host that drew me here to pay the ritual respects."

A memory came to her then, the Guardian's most precious saying. The creed: We honor their past. We protect their future. We do not take either for ourselves.

"It really wouldn't be appropriate," she added, remembering those words. "Besides, I need to get back to my ship. We're leaving soon."

"Ah!" he said with ha