Character Spotlight

Commander Liselle Qwyyn

Brief Interview with Selena Harris, on board reporter

SH:So, what does your job entail on the USS Elysium?

LQ: If you were to ask anyone on the ship, they'd tell you "all she does is fly the thing!" And they're right. I mean, of course, I fly this beautiful lady. We all do. My team does. But what people don't tell you is the amount of pressure we're under! OPS officer doesn't ensure enough power for Stellar Cartography? Someone is going to get upset. Engineering doesn't fix the hot water in your shower? Someone is going to get upset. Doctor can't figure out a mild cold affecting a small group of people? Well, you get the picture.

But when the ship doesn't fly right? Well, there's one very important person who's going to hear about it right away. My performance is directly under the nose of the Admiral. It's hard for him to miss the fact that the stars outside his window aren't moving. It's so much pressure to be under. It's like taking your final exams, every day of your life.

It's such an adrenaline rush. I love it!

SH:How do you unwind after a tough duty shift?

LQ: Listen to me: did you know that if you requisition it as a medical necessity, you can get a full bath installed in your quarters? If there's enough room, I mean. Trust me, you need a bath. There is absolutely nothing like a hot bath. Your problems just melt away. And you want them to melt. Really melt. Make that water hot. Your skin should be on red alert when you get in that thing. Your mirrors need to be fogged with steam. You want to get your pores and your sinuses open. So what you need is to find a doctor who's willing to write you up a medical req. for a bath tub. Just check the Starfleet registry of medical professionals. Some of them will conduct the entire diagnosis with you via subspace and write the req. without even meeting you!

SH: Have you any pointers for those who want to do what you do?

LQ: Math. See the math in everything. Calculate angels on every surface. When you're simply walking somewhere, ask yourself "exactly how long will it take me to reach that wall?" What if I were to half my speed? What if I were to approach at .25c? What if the wall began to move away from me at twice the speed of my speed while I slowed my own speed by one-third of my current speed every time I take a step divisible by the total number of steps I've already taken. As you can see, it can be a lot of fun! Oh! And play dom-jot. It's a phenomenal Nausicaan game of mental math and physical execution. It is the perfect way to help you practically learn angels, distance, speed, inertia... And bet on every game! A lot! Make the stakes high! Then you'll be ready for this job.

SH: Do you have any funny stories about your time on the Elysium?

LQ: Well, this one time I was smoking in the bath tub -- er...smoking is...well, it's a small stick about this long. This big around. And you light this end here on fire. A really tiny fire. And you put your lips on this end and then...Gods in heaven... Anyway...I fell asleep with a cigarette in my mouth this one time, and it must have fallen onto the nearby mat. Next thing I know, a fire suppression team had overridden my door locks and were surrounding my tub screaming "Ma'am! Ma'am are you okay!" And of course they woke me up and I'm screaming at them. "Who are you? What's going on?!?!" Actually...I probably shouldn't have told that story. Is it possible for you to forget that? I'll think of a better one...

SH: What about hobbies? Any strange hobbies?

LQ: I love to play the violin. I am actually pretty terrible at that, though... Oh! I love to paint. But I am pretty terrible at that, too... Ah! Fighting! Not 'being in a fight,' but watching fights. I love to watch fencing, and wrestling, and oh! And boxing! I love boxing! Gul Par'al was robbed in the semis! I hate when they call it by decision! The fight should always go on for as long as it has to. Had they let him go the distance, he would have won. No doubt. I mean, say what you will about the man's politics, but WOW could he throw a punch!

End of Interview