Tasty Snake, Anyone?

Posted on Thu Oct 18th, 2018 @ 11:51am by

Mission: Season 2: Mission 2.A: R&R
Location: crew lounge
3112 words - 6.2 OF Standard Post Measure

“Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison’d entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights hast thirty one
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Fillet of a fenny sna...” Estelle intoned until she was rudely interrupted.

“Must you always do that when you’re making stew?” the annoyed voice of the on-duty bartender in the crew lounge complained. The Bolian looked at Estelle and, unlike the surgeon, did not see the humour in the statement.

“I want everyone to know that what they’re trying later is top quality, home-made food”, Estelle said. “So yes, I must always do that.”

Liorga, fresh from the gym, wandered into the lounge, starving. As she entered the first thing that hit her was the scent of something that, if it tasted as good as it smelled, was probably heavenly, “What is that smell?” She inquired, needing to know what was filling her nostrils with joy.

“Lamb stew”, Estelle responded cheerfully. “An old recipe from Earth, considered a poor person’s dish when made with leftovers. It’s amazingly good when made with the better stuff. It’ll be a little longer before it’s done, though.”

“Wouldn’t know what the better stuff was.” Liorga laughed, she didn’t eat a lot of Earth food, “But that smells wonderful.”

“I’ll share it with anyone who’s brave enough to try”, Estelle said. “Now, where’s that vial of snake blood? I’m sure I’ve put it here somewhere…”

“I’m hungry enough to give anything a shot.” Liorga shrugged, “Even snake. Hell, Ens. Norris almost has me convinced to try haggis….” She paused for a second, adding, “Almost.”

“Oh, you definitely should”, Estelle encouraged her. “One of the best earth foods ever. Though, nothing beats honey.” What she had labelled snake blood was actually tomato juice which she added for flavour and colour.

“I enjoy honey.” Liorga nodded, “It’s actually one of my favorite foods. I sometimes like to make honey sandwiches, just spread it on toast. As for haggis, I’ll have to try it, I suppose. Don’t want to hurt the poor kid’s feelings.”

“It’s made from the same animal as this stew”, Estelle said. “Though, not to worry, all the ingredients come from the replicator. The secret is in the preparation. I didn’t actually slaughter any sheep.”

“I think the chef would frown on that.” Liorga smirked, “Pretty messy….”

“And I can’t stand the sight of blood”, Estelle added. “So this, all around, is much safer.” She stirred the pot one more time and tasted the result.

“Can’t stand the sight of blood?” Liorga stopped on a dime, that statement locked her up, “Aren’t you the surgeon though?”

Estelle nodded. “Yes. It’s why I chose my profession, actually. You see, as a surgeon, whenever I see someone bleeding, I can actually make it stop. That’s like engineers who can’t stand the sight of a warp core breach, no?”

“Actually that’s because we don’t want to die.” Liorga laughed nervously, “But I can see the correlation, I suppose.” Okay, she decided, this chick is weird.

Estelle filled a few bowls with the stew as people started lining up to try it, even the Bolian was curious. “I can definitely get behind the not-dying part”, she agreed with Liorga. She placed two bowls of stew, two spoons and a few slices of bread on a tray and moved towards one of the tables. “Care to join me?”

“With pleasure, Doctor.” Liorga nodded. Yep, she thought, definitely weird, but if she cooks as good as she looks...

“Fetch us some ale?” Estelle asked as she set down the food and laid the table properly. She had picked a table by the window, even though there wasn’t much to see besides stars streaming by as the Elysium was heading back to Deep Space Nine.

“Got a favorite or do you want to trust me?” Liorga offered, she knew her way around the ales and would be happy to demonstrate.

“I suppose the trust goes both ways”, Estelle smirked, pointing at the food. “Just none of that slimy Ferengi stuff, please. I can’t stand that.”

“Not a fan myself.” Liorga said, her face twisting into a look of disgust, “Lot like I figure drinking motor oil would be.” She went to the replicator and brought up her own menu, finding her favorite ale and reproducing two mugs, “There you go, it’s a Deltan recipe, very strong but with a taste that’s not overbearing.”

“That does sound Deltan, all right”, Estelle smiled. She took the mug from Liorga and sat down on her side of the table. She took a sip before eating, so as not to mix the flavour of the ale with that of the food before having at least tasted it unadulterated. “It’s good!”

“My favorite.” Liorga smiled, “Glad you enjoy it, too.” She took a sip of the ale, then a heaping spoonful of the stew. It was exquisite, causing Liorga to moan in delight. With a sly wink she said, “So, doc, is it too early to propose?”

Estelle chuckled. “Third date, no sooner.” She dipped some bread in her stew. “And it takes a lot of chocolate, too.”

“Chocolate, huh?” Liorga nodded, “Bit of a fan myself, especially if it’s filled with caramel.”

“We should ask for shore leave on Betazed at some point”, Estelle concluded. If there was any place in the known universe with great chocolate, it was there. “I hope my cargo containers were kept at a constant temperature on Deep Space Nine. I couldn’t take all my supplies on board with me, and had to leave most of my chocolate behind, too.”

“How barbaric…” Liorga said in faux indignation, “What is this? The dark ages or something?”

“At least they’ve got cookies on the dark side”, Estelle remarked, not sure whether a Deltan would catch the reference.

“Yeah, but you can only get your coffee black.” Liorga quipped, she’d never miss a Star Wars reference.

“About that…”, Estelle started. “I had hoped to make great coffee an incentive for people to come to sickbay and let me take a look at them in detail. Turns out, the CMO has already put that into practise, and his coffee is amazing, unless you try his strong blend. Now I’m looking for alternative ideas.”

“I’m almost scared to imagine what ‘strong blend’ would be for a Gorn.” Liorga mused, still tearing into the stew, “I mean, I had some coffee on my last assignment the guy called ‘Nine, Ten, Never Sleep Again’ and it was rough. He was just a human, too.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, ‘just a human’?” Estelle demanded. “For the record, humans invented coffee. It’s our primary contribution to the galactic community!”

“Just sayin’ that if he could take that stuff you can probably take the Doc’s better than you realize.” Liorga laughed, adding, “And that’s quite a contribution for humanity, almost makes up for all those decades of that celibacy oath crap.”

“Blame the men for that one”, Estelle chuckled. “They’re the ones having trouble to keep their eyes on the snake… or rather their snake in check, I guess I should say.” She sipped her ale. “Though, having pheromone antidotes really does help. I’m not sure I could stand being around Orions in particular, otherwise.”

“Okay, true.” Liorga nodded, she knew from experience men were controlled entirely by the wrong head.

“It’s bad enough usually, but try to be around teenagers when you’re teaching human evolution. Just mention Homo Erectus and you might as well leave the room for a coffee break before they’ll quiet down”, Estelle smirked.

“Fortunately none of my teaching gigs ever involved anything like that.” Liorga laughed, “Though anything that can appear to be humped did appear to be humped.”

“Bothers me because I’m usually the one cracking the jokes on purpose”, Estelle admitted. “And having an entire class drift away because of that, unexpectedly, was actually a bit frustrating.”

“I can imagine.” Liorga said, taking another mouthful of the succulent stew, “Maybe you should’ve taught home ec, this is fantastic.”

“There’s not much of a demand for that these days but thank you”, Estelle smiled. “No, I taught a little bit of everything to younger students while I was still in school, helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And it was either surgeon or comedian. I guess I’m a little bit of both now.”

She hadn’t decided if the doctor was really all that funny, and blessedly knew nothing of her medical skills, but she was a great cook and definitely sweet, “I guess so.” Liorga smiled, “And you cook. How are you single?”

Estelle shrugged. “I don’t know. It hasn’t been on the forefront of my mind, looking for someone. And I’ve just changed ships, too. Not the best profession to forge relationships. I can’t imagine it’s any different for you engineers.”

“I don’t know about that.” Liorga shrugged, “I’ve seen a lot of really successful relationships amongst my fellow engineers. Just because I’ve never been in one….”

“Gotta meet a civilian willing to follow you around on your postings, or somehow convince Starfleet to assign two people to the same ship or base for the rest of their service lives”, Estelle said. “Otherwise, I can’t see how it’ll end in anything but tears.”

“Maybe.” Liorga said, “But sometimes I guess it could be worth the risk if the person is really right for you. But, again, I’ve never been in one of those relationships.” She laughed as she finished, though, having always put her career ahead of romance, she now wondered if she did the right thing as she was still alone with nothing to show for her career.

“Oh, it’s worth the risk, all right”, Estelle agreed. “It’s just never worked out for me, so far.”

“Well,” Liorga smiled, raising her glass, “Here’s to the next one, may they be the one that works.”

Estelle touched her glass to Liorga’s before taking a sip. “Maybe if I put a love potion in my stew?” she pondered. “I’ll have to leave out the snake, though.”

“Oysters.” Liorga said quickly, “It’ll go better with lamb than green M and M’s would.”

“Oysters in this stew? No, this does not mix well with seafood”, Estelle rejected the idea emphatically. She didn’t know what the other idea was, but she assumed another one of those myths. At least nowadays they no longer caused the extinction of species, though they weren’t any more effective now than they used to be.

“Well, lacking a PhD in Voodoo, it was my only thought.” Liorga giggled, finishing her bowl, “Though this stew could be a love potion in and of itself.”

“I know a few that work”, Estelle said. “Biochemical tricks, and entirely false and unfair. But it can be done. I wouldn’t, though, not even for a laugh.” She wasn’t sure how to respond now that Liorga had complimented her stew twice already.

“Relax, you’re not under interrogation.” Liorga laughed hard, “Besides, can’t picture you needing the help.”

“Oh, stop it, I’ve already got an overly inflated ego as it is”, Estelle blushed.

“Ain’t that a lovely shade of pink.” Liorga teased, pointing to her scalp, “Mine shows mostly up here, nothing to hide it and all.”

“Hair can be useful”, Estelle said as she drew a curtain shut in front of her face. “See? Well, I don’t. Where’s my food?”

“Leave all that hair in front of your face a few seconds longer and I’ll tell you where it’s going to be.” Liorga playfully threatened, “In my stomach!”

“No, you can’t have my food!” Estelle protested, pushing her hair back behind her ears. “If I don’t keep up my diet, I’ll lose my curves.” Estelle was certainly built for comfort, and wouldn’t pass muster for security, but she wasn’t worried about it and it certainly wasn’t a topic she wasn’t prepared to joke about. Certainly wasn’t.

“Now, THAT,” Liorga laughed, “would be a tragedy.” All pretense of formality with the Doctor was now pretty much gone; Liorga wasn’t able to remember ever being this comfortable with an officer before, not even in the brief period during the war when she was one.

Estelle giggled. “I know.” She quickly put more food into her mouth, if only to make sure she wouldn’t say anything stupid immediately. She followed with a swig of ale, and then a thought appeared to her. “This isn’t actual alcohol, is it?”

“It is.” Liorga answered, stopping for a second and asking, “Is that a problem? You’re not allergic or anything are you?”

“No, it’s shiny”, Estelle replied. “I’m not used to it any more but I used to be able to stomach quite a bit. I used to, when I was used to it.” She wasn’t worried, though. Her next shift was only the following day, and in case of an emergency she could always take an anti-intoxicant.

“Don’t think one ale, even one of those, will get you smashed.” Liorga mused, “Though if you want I’ll be happy to walk you back to your quarters when you’re ready.”

“Only if you promise you can keep a secret”, Estelle said.

“Pretty good at that.” Liorga pledged, laughing silently to herself as she thought that if Estelle knew anything about the Reynolds she’d have never felt the need to ask, “Tell me.”

“No, there’s nothing to tell”, Estelle said. “I just can’t have word get out, I’m making something that’s a surprise and it sits in my cabin. Mustn’t spill the beans.”

“Okay.” Liorga agreed, placing a hand over her heart, “I promise.”

“Then it is safe”, Estelle concluded. She’d never before had cause to doubt the word of any member of Starfleet. She finished her stew by scraping out the bowl with her last slice of bread.

“So there we go.” Liorga nodded, the Doctor must have something great she’s hiding...

She finished her ale, then collected everything on her tray to take it back to the replicator. She was feeling fine, but why would she say no to Liorga’s offer? “I should try new things more often”, she remarked.

Liorga followed closely behind with her own dishes, placing them in the replicator and watching them dematerialize, “To think people used to make actual dishes and reuse them…”

“They still do, just not on starships where we haven’t got the space to store them all”, Estelle said. “We’re not exactly careful with how we expend power here. All of Starfleet goes through the deuterium of a medium-sized gas giant every year.”

“I know.” Liorga laughed, she’d been involved in so many deuterium studies she’d lost count. Between her time as a trainee to her time spent training to actual field experience… All she knew was she could do deuterium in her sleep at this point, “You’d think they’d have a more efficient system by now, maybe some sort of reclaimer, but I’ve been in thirty years and it’s not changed much.”

“By the time the last M-stars have burnt out in a few trillion years, they’ll have figured something out”, Estelle grinned. “I’m not making that my problem, though.”

“Hopefully it’ll be a little sooner.” Liorga quipped, “Not that we’ll be around to care, I suppose.”

“All we need to do is find a Q and buddy up sufficiently”, Estelle joked. Not that she would, it would be too much like religious worship, and that was an idea abhorrent to her. She headed towards the exit as she saw that others had already taken care of kitchen clean-up.

Liorga followed closely behind, taking her place on Estelle’s left, “I’ve heard too much about the Q to want anything to do with them. Even eternal life wouldn’t be worth it.” She said, “If I wanted to be around some spoiled attention hog who ran amok with impunity I would’ve had kids.”

Estelle laughed. “That I like.” It was the kind of thing she might have said if their conversational roles had been reversed. “You have a sense of humour, very important. I was beginning to wonder”, she teased.

“I do.” Liorga smirked, “Maybe nothing like yours, but still…”

“I haven’t met anyone yet whose humour is like mine”, Estelle grinned. “Probably for the better. I doubt I’d get along with myself. It would cause a lot of confrontations.”

“Right.” Liorga nodded, “Talk about being beside yourself!”

“That is something I do a lot of”, Estelle admitted. “Doesn’t help when it’s one of those confusing low-caffeine days. The sarcasm is strong in those. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”

“Anger, fear, aggression.” Liorga joked, “The lack of caffeine are they, easily does it flow, quick to join you in a fight.”

“We even have a formula for it”, Estelle explained as they stepped into the lift. “One of Earth’s great scientists found it, it’s E equals m times c squared. Which is energy equals midichlorians times caffeine squared. Now that’s science for you.”

“I’ll let you in on an engineering secret,” Liorga whispered, “Dilithium is a lie. We made it up. Warp fields are generated by Kenyan AA.”

“What?” Estelle looked at her incredulous. “Then why the hell have that hamster wheel in main engineering? Don’t tell me that’s just for auxiliary power.”

“Nah, that’s Jerry.” Liorga shrugged it off, “He’s just there because he’s cute.”

“You engineers are nuts”, Estelle shook her head. “And I thought our CMO was, keeping medicinal animals.” Stepping back out of the lift, her quarters were just on the opposite side, one of the benefits of being one of the medical shift leaders, short ways to work, or anywhere else on the ship. She keyed her place open.

~TBC~