Alpha and Beta

Posted on Tue Jul 19th, 2022 @ 2:07am by

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: USS Elysium, Legate Vanessa Alcean an Vantar's office
Timeline: MD (TBD) / 1030 hours. (Late back post)
1245 words - 2.5 OF Standard Post Measure

Debra was very nervous. Vanessa had seemed nice enough last night, when she clearly claimed Kyle as hers, and had offered to help Debra come out of her shell more. However, something told her that Vanessa was being nice, simply for Kyle's benefit. While she had very underdeveloped social skills, Debra could still feel the sense of territorial protection from the stunning ambassador.

Still, if Vanessa would be willing to help her out, even a little, the young woman would take what she could get. So, that thought being put away for safe keeping, Debra reached up, with her free hand, and pressed the door chime to Vanessa's office.

"Hey Deb." Vanessa noted as she walked in. "How's life in ops."

"Strat Ops. Different department," she corrected softly. "And I enjoy the work very much, thank you."

"Now then. Let's begin." Vanessa walked around her. "You don't like to show yourself off, don't you? You've spent too much time as a wall flower? Huh?"

Feeling a bit unsettled by Vanessa's seemingly abruptness, Debra blushed a little. Reaching up to rub her left arm with her right hand, she shrugged slightly. "I...I'm not comfortable in crowds. Always been that way, even as a little girl."

"Well that's going to change, you're going to be the center of attention now." Vanessa grinned. "C'mon. Let's learn how to dance."

Her eyes going wide in fear at the idea of being the center of attention, Debra stuttered, "Oh! I...I...I don't kn-kn-know!"

She smiled. "It's alright Debra... We'll start out with just a few people... You're uncomfortable being the center of attention. I will teach you not to fear this. We'll start out with a small gathering at first."

Debra wasn't sure, but, she would try. "O-okay."

---

Vanessa started with a small but elegant party. She kept on coaching Debra as she danced. "It's alright, Debra... People are not judging you. Focus on your partner and the dance. It's natual to be afraid, my friend. Fear is a good companion. It keeps us out of danger. But it also limits our potential."

Debra was trying to relax as she danced with her partner. He seemed nice enough, possible even good-looking. However, she was still feeling uncomfortable having everyone watching her. "I-I don't know if this is w-working!" She blushed heavily as she stammered. "If-if I step on his toes by accident, he'll think I'm a clumsy oaf."

"You've always been afraid of what people would think? You'll find that matters less than you believe. In this world, actions speak louder than words." Vanessa noted.

At that point, she actually did, though not on purpose, step on the man's toes. He grunted in discomfort. That was all Debra needed to break away and look like she was about to burst into tears. "I'm sorry!" She exclaimed. Then turning her gaze to each set of eyes on her, she felt like she was under a microscope. "I knew this w-was a bad idea!" She turned and practically ran from the room. Her tears of embarrassment already starting to flow freely.

Vanessa sighed. "This is not going to be easy..." She noted. "She did that on purpose.."

The man with the sore toes looked over at Vanessa and shook his head. "I don't think she did, Vee. I've danced with my fair of partners. There was no malice in what she did. She genuinely seemed terrified."

"This is going to be harder than I thought. If she keeps herself closed off like this... It's going to be catastrophic for her.. I can feel her heartbreak and depression setting in. I need to get her to open up, and it's going to be painful." Vanessa noted. "But sometimes pain is the only way we grow."

===Elsewhere===

Debra finally stopped running and found herself in a quiet part of the ship. After leaning against the bulkhead, she slowly slid down to her butt, placing her head between her knees and started to sob quietly. She hated that she was so weak! However, she had tried everything that had been presented to her to find a way to break through her apparently crippling discomfort. Maybe she was just destined to be alone. That, or maybe....maybe everyone would be better off if she just removed herself for the equation altogether.

A strange woman then walked up to Debra and sat down next to her.. She was wearing a pilot's bomber jacket. "You're no quitter. If you do that..." Jess noted. "You're not coming back... Not ever." The pilot noted. "And believe me.. I know what I'm talking about. Yeah I know how that feels.. The Discomfort, The fear.. It's overwhelming.. And sometimes you think you're just not good enough. Why should anyone even give a damn about you. The truth is; I will Commander." Jess spoke calmly. For a pilot, she was speaking very calmly. "You do have people here who will miss you."

Looking over at the other woman, Debra felt a sudden connection to her. "How...how do you read me so well?" Tears kept slowly falling down her cheeks. "You...you don't..you don't even know me..." as she spoke, Debra started to calm some. There was something about the other woman's mere presence that caused her to feel warmer.

"I know you better than you think. And my mind... It's a terrible mess even for someone who was once a introvert." Jess noted. "People see the strong Jessica Vaii. The leader and the fighter.. But inside I tear myself up fighting a battle of thoughts and fears that would make Stalingrad look tame."

Debra sniffled softly, then replied. "I...I just don't do well with people. I..I never have. I'm more comfortable in front of a computer screen, crunching tactical information and coming up with answers." She hung her head again. "I...I've never even been kissed before." That last past was said barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, it's different when you mother is the one that uses a belt on you." Jess noted. "Oh Yes.. I lived in the UFP, But in my mother's house... it felt like the Cardassian Union. She was a psychopath.. a monster." Jess noted. "And she demanded my complete subserviance as her heir for the matriarch of the Kessanna family. You live your entire life in fear of everyone, everything, and you fight. You fight back. But you never forget the moments where someone raises their hand at the academy, and you block with your arms. Thinking its a hand to slap you." Jess mentioned. "Life is a battle.. It's not always comfortable.. But the important thing; is fighting back. Never letting yourself surrender. Goddesses help me if I ever surrendered to mother."

Debra looked over at Jess, an incredulous look on her face. "While I am sorry to hear about your painful past, I'm not sure what it has to do with what I said." She wasn't being rude, she was simply and truly confused by Jess's sharing.

Jess sighed. "It's just... if you're afraid all the time... You'll never know how good life can be."

After a few more beats, Debra took a deep breath and stood. "Thank you Ma'am," she said as she tried to clean her face if tears. "I will bear that in mind. If you will excuse me?" She dipped her head respectfully, then turned and walked away. She had a lot to consider.

~OFF~