Nothing Matters Anymore

Posted on Thu Feb 17th, 2022 @ 3:00am by Captain Gary Taylor

Mission: Season 5: Interlude: Darkness Abounds
Location: Brig
Timeline: Evening
1186 words - 2.4 OF Standard Post Measure

Jessica continued to do push ups in cell. Only thing she knew. Lovejow was in ther middle of destroying her starfleet career. Just like a good desk jockey. She ignored people on purpose as they walked in. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She just couldn't take it anymore.. The more she just went about her business. Pretending Starfleet Command didn't just take Phoenix Lalor and stuff her away somewhere. It made her realize more and more she was on the wrong side.

Gary entered the brig and stood outside of Jess's cell and looked at her through the forcefield. he was quiet for several moments before he finally spoke. "When are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut Jess?"

"When are you going to ask Lovejoy the important questions?" Jessica noted. "What they are doing is illegal, Taylor, and I will no longer follow illegal orders from an unlawful command." Jessica stated. "So are you going to make me disappear? Like Lovejoy and Carrington did to Phoenix? If I knew Starfleet was no different from the Romulan Military. I would not have joined it!!!!"

"Will you listen to yourself!" You made untrue accusations to a superior officer just because you don't like him. There is nothing to suggest Lovejoy or Carrington had anything to do with Phoenix's disappearance. But you have managed to conclude that he is the bad guy responsible for everything. Do I like what is going on? No, I don't but instead of going off halfcocked, I'm waiting to see what comes next."

Jess shook her head and turned towards a wall. "I never thought we'd be opposing each other, Gary. I love everything the Federation is and I'll stand for its principles. But nothing you can do can erase the thought from my mind. They accused her of treason on ridiculous charges and then tried her in a secret trial. And now she's goddess knows where. Ask Lovejoy himself. They both made no secret about it. And you seem to be living each day like it doesn't matter." Jess started punching the forcefield. "We were supposed to be better than this!!! We were supposed not to be like the Terrans... What the hell did Crewman Hopkins die for!!!" Jess slammed her fist against the forcefield repeatedly. "If we have no morals. NO PRINCIPLES!!! Then were are the same as those sonofabitches that tried to enslave our crew!!!!!" She stopped as her hand bled.

Gary dropped the forcefield and stepped into the cell. "You are a danm fool Jess. Lovejoy had nothing to do with Phoenix disappearing. Someone higher up did. Your anger is misdirected and your confusing the issue, talking about Phoenix missing in one breath and the Terran Empire in the next." He stopped, "Let me see your hand."

"What the hell is it all for.. When at the end of the day. No matter if its true or not.. I go to bed and I close my eyes.. Then I see both Hopkins and Phoenix staring at me." Jessica noted. "If I didn't have a reason to stay.. A good one, I would have left already. Gary."

"For the record Jess, we aren't on opposite sides. We both want justice. I just don't go off accusing a superior officer without proof and there is no proof in regards to Captain Lovejoy. "You have two good reasons Phoenix and this crew. So, get a hold of your temper and close your mouth."

"Yes... Close my mouth. Keep secrets.." Jessica noted. "You know deep down this treachery is wrong." Hess turned against the wall. "It does not matter if in ten years after serving prison for insubordination, or one day in here. I will find Phoenix Lalor. What Lovejoy needs to consider is what state I will find her in. He may find himself on this side of the forcefield if what I suspect he did is true." Jessica mentioned. "I am a Starfleet Officer, not a Cardassian Gul."

"Do you hear yourself talk Jess? You are lucky you are just in the brig and not facing a court martial for your accusations and calling Captain Lovejoy a Gul is completely unwarranted."

"Well I advise you better clear out the cargo hold and set up temporary brig cells." Jess noted. "Because I'm not the only one who will start asking inconvenient questions." Jess noted. "For the last two months, I have tried to live with it, Gary. The accusations came out of nowhere. Phoenix was found guilty before she could mount a defense, and now she's god knows where in a secret prison." Jess concluded. "Anyone who willingly commits these reprehensible deeds is not worthy to wear our uniform." Jess mentioned. "So yes... As long as the truth is withheld, I will not follow illegal orders in direct contradiction to the Articles of Federation. I'm sorry Gary. I can no longer live with this. Maybe you can.. but I cannot."

"How do you know she couldn't or didn't amount a defense Jess? You are assuming and you know what that means. I prefer to have facts rather than jumping to conclusions like you are. Also Captain Lovejoy has not given you or anyone else an illegal order and you should be ashamed of how you've totally disrespected him. Think about that for awhile."

She looked at the wall silently. "Maybe I should go it alone.. Maybe I should leave Starfleet. Stand for what I believe in." Jess noted. "Maybe Starfleet never was what I thought it was. Just another Military marching around the borders of an interstellar empire. Maybe what they said at the academy? It was all a line, and I ate it. Maybe everyone in the galaxy is the same pile of shit. But I just can't walk away. What do I tell Man'darr... I really do..." She bowed her head. "I really do love him. I can't just walk away so easily. Goddess dammit to hell."

"No, alone is wrong. What you need is to stop and think Jess. These wild, unfounded accusations aren't helping the situation. Your anger at the situation has clouded both your thinking and your judgment. Perhaps see a counselor, get your feelings out" Gary offered.

"Great. You still think I'm crazy. Leave.... Just leave. I'm going to do pull ups for a while." Jess noted. She was feeling defeated. Why couldn't anyone realize that this was wrong? Why were people going along with it. It made her feel more sick than ever.

"Stop it Jess. I never said you were crazy. I do think you are suffering from PTSD and that has clouded your thinking and objectivity." Gary replied calmly.

"I was the first one to see Hopkins..." Jess noted. "I wanted to bombard New Canaan with our weapons right then and there." She began to shed tears. "What civilized people does such things?"

"Jess, see a counselor. They can help you. Talk to them, get your feelings out. If you don't get a handle on this, you are going to have a nervous breakdown." Gary replied quietly but firmly.