JP Qwyyn/Matias

Posted on Sun Oct 14th, 2018 @ 11:12am by Lieutenant Commander Matias Grronkil & Commander Liselle Qwyyn

Mission: Season 2: Mission 2.A: R&R
Location: DS9: Quark's Bar
Timeline: Current
1329 words - 2.7 OF Standard Post Measure

Liselle Qwyyn stepped off of the lift and onto the main promenade. She wore a heavy sweater, carefully selected to hide her body in its billowing fabric. It seemed appropriate for a break-up. Then again, she had never really had to do this before.

Following the computer's directions she soon found him, not far from where she had inquired at a local terminal. There, just outside of the bar, Matias Grronkil watched the Dabo tables. He stood just at the entrance, moving slightly as a Ferengi darted past him to chase after someone.

Within the bar, the wheel slowed to a stop and the crowd cheered. "Dabo!"

"You know," Liselle said, coming up beside him, "they'll probably let you play. If you ask nicely."

Matias drew her into a side hug and kissed her. "They probably would, and then they would clean me out," he said. "I'm glad to see you again. I missed you so much, my love."

Qwyyn tensed up; both at the physical affection and at his endearing terms. "Matias. I think we need to talk..."

Matias felt her coldness. He guessed what she was going to say, what she's been saying ever since they met. "What do you want to talk about?" he said.

"Maybe we should get a drink first."

"My treat," he said. He led her to the bar. "Saurian Brandy for me, how about you, my dear?"

"Something strong. Very strong."

When the drinks arrived she immediately downed hers. She held the empty glass in her hands as she looked up at him. "Matias. You're a great guy. You really are. And -- I -- I think any girl would be on top of the world to have you..." Apparently any girl but me, she thought to herself.

Matias laid his hand on hers. "Liselle, what are you so afraid of?" he said. "And don't deny it. I am of a species that can smell fear, and you positively reek of it! You have been trying to push me away from the very beginning. You need not fear me. I am not psychic, but I can tell that this moment will tell what any relationship you get into will be. If you back away from this one, I can see that you will fail at every relationship you put your hand in, and I don't want that to happen to you."

Qwyyn nearly found herself laughing at his insight. But that smile quickly faded. "I warned you in the beginning that I wasn't going to be any good at this," she said softly. "You wanted to try this out -- us -- and so we did. And I just...I just feel like I'm not the person that you need me to be for you."

"And how do you know?" he asked. "I know you will never be my former mate, I don't ask you to be. You are Liselle, and I think you are worth fighting for, or I would have left you long ago."

"I just...everything between us is always so..." her fingers plucked at the air, as though she'd pinch the words she needed and pull them down into the conversation, "...so intense. You put me on this pedestal. You tell I'm all these wonderful things. It's a lot for me to live up to. It's...it's a lot of pressure, Matias."

"Who says you have to live up to anything? Just be yourself. The fact that I adore you is not dependent on anything you do, but just who you are." said Matias. "You've got to think better of yourself. I have no problems with you. I don't know why you have such problems with me."

"Because I'm not -- " her hands shook in front of her for a moment, her frustration seething in her fingertips "-- I'm the one with the problems, okay?" Now her hands reached so that she could touch her temples. "Like real head problems. I'm not supposed to be in this body. That's how I feel. All the time. All. The. Time. And when you treat me the way you do, you make me doubt that. And I don't like it."

"It looks like I'm not the one you should be breaking up with," said Matias. "It is obvious to me that you and your symbiont are mismatched. It surprises me, for what I have learned of Trill, there are strenuous safeguards to guarantee that the host and the symbiont are compatible. They are the ones who have made the mistake, not you. I would advise that you contact the authorities and ask for another host or...I'm not sure which one I am talking to, but you get the idea. I will support you in this, Liselle. You're worth it."

Her immediate reaction was a white-hot rage, an anger that surprised even herself. She took a steadying breath, forcing herself to observe a moment and save the both of them from a unwanted public scene. To her surprise she found tears forming in her eyes instead, and she was crippled by a profound wave of self-aware embarrassment. Liselle tried to remember that Matias wasn't from these stars, and that even those who were often did not understand the Trill. But to hear his words so plainly laid out...

Qwyyn's voice wavered as she spoke softly, afraid to break down if her tone were any louder. "Once we've joined, that's it. After a few days, if the symbiote ever leaves the host, the host will die. I'm stuck here. Despite what I may have lead you to believe, I am not the symbiote inhabiting this body. And I am not the body hosting this symbiote. I am a new life that awoke when this body and this symbiote joined together. If my -- existence -- strikes you as a mistake that needs correcting --" She cut herself off, her hand held between them, not trusting that she could keep her composure if she continued talking.

Matias dug his claws into the table and growled deeply. His eyes flashed with anger. "You misjudge me, Liselle and do me an injustice. I did not know the nature of your joining and was trying to figure out a solution. But if you really hate me so much...." He was trying to keep his composure as well. "You do not know me at all, nor have you even tried. You've just tried every trick in the book and then some to try and get rid of me. I know your suffering. I would never forgive myself if I turned my back on you now. Even if there is no hope of any romance between us, I would never desert you in your need. At least I can be your forever friend and help you in your troubles. And if you still hate me, so be it. I will not hate you or leave you in the lurch." He didn't tell her his honor as a Grral was at stake, as she would turn that into another imagined offense.

She turned away from him, overwhelmed by the burning sting of red hot regret. "I'm sorry, Matias," she said in a small voice. "I -- you didn't deserve that." With her bottom lip tucked into her teeth she looked at him once more. She carefully placed a hand on his wrist. "You've been unbelievably patient with me. Gods know that you have. And I truly believe that what you said came from a good place. I just -- I feel..." Her words failed her. She sucked in a breath. Sighed. "I need to be alone right now. Just for now. That may change. That probably will change. But for now..."

He gave her a small kiss. "I'll give you your space...for now. But remember, I am always here for you."

OFF

Commander Liselle Qwyyn
Chief Flight Control
USS Elysium

Lt. Commander Matias Grronkil
Chief Engineer
USS Elysium