Into The Darkness

Posted on Sun Mar 31st, 2019 @ 12:35am by Lieutenant Commander Aurelia Taylor & Captain Gary Taylor

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Bajorian temple/Lia's quarters
Timeline: Before Departure post.
2353 words - 4.7 OF Standard Post Measure

Gary hadn't spoken to Lia for several days but wasn't overly concerned as they both had their duties to preform. Yet now with the Elysium docked at
DS9 that should change. He headed for Lia's quarters and rang the chime and waited.....no answer. He rang again, same results. A little miffed he tapped his combadge, "Computer locate Commander Holmes." The reply was instant. "Commander Holmes is not aboard the Elysium." Gary was stunned! That wasn't like Lia, not at all. She had to be on the station but where? Last time she was here she saw Dr.Bashir. He would start at medical and go from there.

Moments later he was on the station and headed for medical when he happened to see a Bajorian temple and coming out of it was Lia! Now he was confused. Why would Lia be in a temple? Only one way to find out. Weaving in and out of the crowd he crossed to where she was. "Lia!" He said happily having no clue to why she was at the temple. Then stopped when he saw the look on her face of utter sadness. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Lia stood looking at Gary, that white rum had done it's damage. "I've just said good bye to our child, or should I say what would have been our child. Angel is heading home in her own casket, alone". Her head didn't want to register the person before her, "Where the hell have you been for the past few days? I needed you, wanted to talk to you. But you never came to the sickbay, why?"

Gary stared at her as emotions warred across his face at Lia's announcement. Shock, hurt and anger all flashed across his face. "What are you talking about? Our child? I had no idea Lia! As to where I was I was busy with ship's business. If you needed to talk to me, you could have. The corridors run both ways as do the combadges! He was angry but more hurt that Lia would even think he was so uncaring that he wouldn't be there for her and their child. "How can you think so little of me that I wouldn't be here for you? For our child?!"

"Yeah about those comm badges, seems the Medical staff REMOVE them when you arrive. More so when your unconscious and loosing blood rapidly, can't say contacting anyone crossed my mind at that point". She tried hard to focus on Gary's face, "What I think of you is that bloody ship means more to you than your personal life, as for our child?" Lia didn't get any further, tears flooded from her eye's. The full extent of watching Angel leaving finally hit home to her, "She never stood a chance, and just like me she wasn't missed by the people who should have cared. I failed her!! You failed her!! This whole fucking universe failed her!!" Emotions held in check since she had found out about Angel burst out, and Lia didn't bother to aim those emotions. She could see her words hitting home, but the alcohol made her not care. "Even the Doctor had a bloody go at me because of my security locked documents, I didn't ask for that. I can't have kids, child abuse by my wonderful Father has made sure of that. That's why OUR child will never be born, do you know how that feels?" Trying to talk, cry and breath meant she couldn't do any of them. She now slowly slid down the wall behind her, but then took a deep breath and stood back up. "Do you care? Really? Do you give one little bit of thought about what that means to us or me?"

Hurt filled his eyes at Lia's angry words. "How can you say that? I've supported you, been patient with you and you have the gall to say that you think the ship means more than you do or our child. I wonder if you really know me at all. Fact is I did miss you and came by your quarters to talk. When you weren't there, I came over here." He stopped and reached down and helped her to stand, wrapping an arm around her. "I do know how it feels. Not as a mother obviously but I do know." He drew a deep breath "Catlin and I always talked of having a child but we never got around to it. With me being gone on different assignments and her going to Starfleet medical. Well it never happened." He held her close as they weaved through the crowd heading back towards the ship. "I care Lia and more than one little bit. I care."

Gary's words entered her head, but the booze muffled them made them difficult to understand. "I want kids, I want to be normal and be able to do what every other woman is able to do. But I can't because of a man, my Father". She glanced at Gary as he guided them through the crowd, "If I don't understand you, why the hell do you bother to stick around? I mean there's other birds around that you could hook up with, Liselle! Now there you go, that's one Female I know you want to be with. And don't tell me you don't, I've seen you and her together. You'd give your right arm to score with her, so why stay with me???" Lia watched as things and people passed by, the motion made her queasy. "I hate me, you hate me. Why don't you just leave me alone and go find someone else to play with, I'm gonna leave the Elysium".

Gary didn't answer right away and when he did his voice was soft. Anger wouldn't help the situation what was needed was compassion and understanding for both their sakes. "I didn't say you didn't understand me. I said I wonder if you do. You can still have children. We can adopt There are ways Lia. I stick around as you put it because I love you. It's that simple. Liselle is a wonderful lady and a great friend." He agreed but I'm with you and I don't cut and run." He paused as they reached the Elysium and he got her back aboard and a short time later back to her quarters where he got her to bed and laid her on it, drawing the bedspread up over her. "Your going to leave or should I say run away? He had finally spoken again. "I never thought I'd hear that from you Lia. That your a quitter." He knew the words were harsh but Lia needed a jolt. "If you run away from this you'll be running your whole life and if you want to end what we have. That's your decision."

Gary's words made Lia turn to look at him, "You think that's what I'm doing? Running?" Her head seemed to be slowly rotating, making focusing on Gary difficult. "I'm not running, I'm moving on. As for us, this kinda closes that chapter. I wanted to be happy and do all the normal things couples do, before this happened it seemed we just might make it". She closed her eye's and took deep breaths, "Lets face it, we were hardly Romeo and Juliet. We fight like cat and dog, our jobs keep us separate and we can insult each other from opposite ends of the bloody ship. Can you honestly say you would want to spend the rest of your life with a person who can do that to you? Really? You have a career that you seem to want more than life it's self, be real here. Having a girlfriend full time, is just window dressing". She opened her eye's and wiped her tears away, "You say I'm ending what we have, let me ask you this then. What exactly do we have? What in this god forsaken universe, can you say makes us a couple?"

Gary's face was a mask as Lia spoke, when she had finished he spoke slowly, "You say you're moving on? That's just a polite way to say running away. Things have gotten tough and you've suffered a major loss but instead of picking yourself up. You want to run away." He shook his head, "No we aren't Romeo and Juliet and we do argue but the one thing we could always be was honest with one another....that is until now, Your using our relationship and your tragedy to run when the real reason is your afraid. afraid to let your guard down, afraid to live, afraid to be yourself. My career is important but it is secondary to my relationship with you and you should know that." He sighed and fixed his gaze on her, "What do we have? We have honesty and respect and love. We understand each other but apparently that isn't enough for you."

"Let my guard down? How much more open can I be? Afraid to live? I don't think so, as for being myself. I did something for you I'd never even thought about doing for any other man, I went and got treatment for a problem I knew I had just so the both of us could be more personal and intimate with each other. I gave you the one thing I held dear, I gave you me. No limits, no hidden parts or past. No demands, just a wish to become wanted". She sat upright and wished she hadn't, "I never knew alcohol could do this to people, but I just don't care that you think I'm being unreasonable. Do I respect you? Yes I do but there are times I don't fully understand you, and I love you to hell and back. But again there are times you don't seem to care, you get involved with other things and I'm just an after thought". She looked down at her body and then back to Gary, "I'm jealous of a Star Ship, because you give the impression that it means more to you than I do. Phoenix gets more of you than I do, I'm like third in line. I want to be first, not third". She took another deep breath, "Things are not set in motion yet, so you have time to change my mind. But I'm not going to make any promises, if I feel like I do now and you don't seem to be changing. I will ask for a transfer, I honestly owe you that much. I'm willing to listen and change IF you can do the same, but this has to be the last time we do this".

Gary looked at her and then gave a short bitter laugh. "Oh, that is rich. I've changed, you, yourself have even commented on how much I've changed yet you sit there before me and say I need to change? Or change more? You knew my position when we first got involved. I'm First Officer of a starship! I have to be available at all hours. I'm sorry if you feel like a third wheel. You aren't but you don't seem to be putting much stock in what I say. I will say this, you Lia Holmes have always been number one in my heart. If my actions seem contrary to that, then that is your opinion as wrong as it is." He sighed, "I love you with all my heart and soul Lia, With every breath I take. If and I stress if I am involved with other things, it's because you seem distant and don't want to be bothered. So here's a suggestion. Why don't you look in a mirror? That's where you'll see the real villain in this."

Lia looked down, "We both have to change Gary, I know I've become distant. But I don't know why, but I also know you have also become more like your old self. Silent, withdrawn and introverted. It's like we're growing apart, as if we don't want to be together. You think this is all me? Fine, I'm not going to try and change your mind. Just remember, you used to be like that before. So ask yourself honestly, is it all my fault?" She shook her head, "I think we both have to ask ourselves, what is the next step?"

Gary didn't answer right away. Lia's words had found their mark and hit home. He had become distant and withdrawn. It would be easy to blame it on Lia but that was the easy way out and he never did anything the easy way especially in personal relationships. "No." He finally answered, "It isn't all your fault. It takes two to tango and I've done my fair share to add to our current problem." He stopped and thought for a moment. "What is the next step? I think we both need to think of what we want and relationship and talk some more."

Reaching out she took his hand, the booze seemed to be easing off. "I lost something precious, to both of us. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was saying good bye to Angel, but I thought you didn't care. We both got it wrong, we 're good at that. How about if there's next time, we tell each other or at least keep an eye on one another?"

Gary squeezed her hand softly, brought it up and kissed it gently. "I care a great deal Lia. I'm sorry for not making my feelings clearer to you. The next time? How about we make sure there isn't a next time? However if there is we talk and definitely keep an eye on each other."

"That's a deal, now me and my headache need to sleep. If I remember we have a long flight to undertake", Lia knew it was going to be hard to keep an eye on Gary.

Commander Gary Taylor
Executive Officer
USS Elysium

Commander Lia Holmes
Chief Security/Tactical Officer
USS Elysium

 

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