Sorry - Apologies to Gary

Posted on Fri Oct 2nd, 2026 @ 10:27am by Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson & Captain Gary Taylor

Mission: Season 6 - Episode 8- The Price of Home
Location: Executive Officer's Office
Timeline: After the events of Teev's homeworld
1893 words - 3.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Phoenix stood outside Gary’s office with her finger hovering over the chime. She had been standing there for almost a full minute. Which was ridiculous. She had faced down admirals, governments, hostile fleets and people who had wanted her dead. She had walked into rooms knowing there was every possibility she would not walk back out again. Apparently apologising to Gary Taylor was harder. Phoenix lowered her hand and stared at the door. Medical had given her an explanation. Gestational Cerebral Xenopolycythemia Syndrome. Tumours. Restricted blood flow to the brain. Impaired judgement. Memory loss. Words that neatly explained why there was a hole in her recollection large enough to swallow several hours of her life. They explained why fear for Mattias had become something else. Why anger had become rage. Why reasonable caution had sounded, in that moment, like betrayal. Why she had armed herself as though she intended to wage a one-woman war against an entire government. They explained it. Phoenix had discovered that explanation and absolution were two very different things.

Gary had stood in front of her and tried to stop her. She had repaid him by questioning his loyalty, throwing his own fears for Azhul back in his face and treating the man who had stood beside her through years of command as though he were somehow the enemy. Whether her brain had been functioning properly at the time or not, Gary had still heard every word. That mattered. Phoenix finally pressed the chime. She could have summoned him to her office. She hadn't. Rank had no place in this conversation.

When the doors opened, Phoenix stepped inside, but didn't immediately move farther into the room. “Gary.” No Commodore's voice. No command tone. Just Phoenix. She clasped her hands behind her back, mostly because she wasn't entirely sure what else to do with them. “I've spent the last few days being told that medically, I wasn't entirely responsible for the way I was thinking.” She paused, her expression tightening slightly. “Apparently having tumours interfere with the blood supply to your brain is considered a fairly substantial mitigating factor.”
The attempt at humour didn't quite reach her eyes. “But I remember enough.” Her gaze settled on him. “And I've been told the rest.” Another pause. “I know I wasn't well. I know my judgement was impaired, and I know there are pieces of that day I may never remember.” Phoenix swallowed. “But you remember them.” That was the part she hadn't been able to escape. “You stood there trying to protect me, protect the crew, and get Mattias and the others back without making the situation worse.” Her eyes dropped briefly before returning to his. “And I treated you like you were betraying me for it.” A breath. “I questioned your loyalty. I questioned your courage. I used Azhul against you when I knew damn well you were just as frightened for her as I was for Mattias.” Her jaw tightened. “That wasn't fair.”

Phoenix hesitated, because the next words were considerably harder. “And being sick doesn't make what you had to stand there and take disappear.” She drew herself a little straighter. “So I'm not here to ask you to excuse it because Medical found something wrong with my brain.” A faint, rueful expression crossed her face. “I'm here because you deserved an apology from me.” She held his gaze. “I'm sorry, Gary.”

Inside his ready room Gary worked on assorted PaDDS some dealing with repairs and getting them coordinated along with day to day ship activities.. In the time during the rescue and after he had briefed Phoenix on the plans to rescue the crew and then later giving the new that all the taken crew had been recovered safely. The briefings had been cold, clinically efficient and brief. There had been no byplay, no banter. Just straight forward explanation of information. They conveyed all the information and details Phoenix needed to stay properly informed. When his door chime had sounded Gary called "Enter!" instinctively. When the doors hissed open he stood up from behind his desk as the last person he expected to come into his office entered. Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson entered, standing just inside the office and stopped. His face looked like it was carved from granite. Not a muscle twitched on an eye blinked. No emotion showed on it as Phoenix spoke, looked contrite and ultimately made her apology. His eyes never strayed from her face as she spoke.

He stood there as she said she was sorry. He had wanted to hear it not as a vindication that he was right and she was wrong but to give the entire episode some sense of closure. Seconds passed then he spoke, waving a hand in front of him. "Have a seat please." Then he continued. "Your words hurt Phoenix." He replied bluntly but not bitterly or angrily. "I thought we were more than Commanding Officer and her Executive Officer. I thought we were friends. I thought there was a trust between us. But you crossed a line that day." He lapsed into silence before speaking again. "Then Doc explained and I learned of your condition and I understood why you acted as you did and said what you said. It gave reason for what you said." Another pause, "I sincerely hope you and the baby are doing well and I am glad you are reunited with Mattias and he is safe." The statement was instinctive and one of care. Another pause as he considered his next words and said them slowly and carefully. "I your apology is accepted and I would like to put this incident behind us."

Phoenix sat when he asked her to and listened without interrupting. When he finished, she was quiet for a moment. “We are friends, Gary.” She looked at him steadily. “At least, I still think of you that way.” A small pause. “I know what I said hurt you. I know being sick explains it, but it doesn’t undo it.” She looked down briefly before meeting his eyes again. “You were trying to protect everyone. Mattias included. And instead of seeing that, I turned on you.” Her expression tightened. “I’m sorry for that.” At the mention of Mattias and the baby, she softened slightly. “Mattias is fine. And the baby is doing well in the EVO womb. Sthilg seems happy with how things are progressing.” There was the faintest hint of a smile. “He’s still watching me like a hawk, though.” The smile faded again. “I want to put this behind us too.” Another pause. “But I know that doesn’t mean everything suddenly goes back to normal.” Her voice softened. “I just don’t want this to be what defines us.” Phoenix held his gaze. “I trusted you before. and I still do.”

Now it was Gary who listened in silence, who didn't interrupt, At Phoenix's mentioning of still thinking of them as friends it seemed like an invisible weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he seemed to stand straighter. His face seemed to lose some of its tenseness as well. A slight smile crossed his features as Phoenix again said she was sorry for turning on him. He was relieved to know Mattias was fine as was the baby and that Sthilg was watching her like a hawk. "He definitely cares about his patients. No one can deny that. I'm glad the baby and Mattias are both fine." He lapsed into silence that lasted a few seconds before speaking again. "No, everything won't suddenly go back to normal but this is a first step in restoring and making stronger what was damaged before. Like you I don't want this to define us. I think we're better than that at least I hope we are. His eyes sought hers, found them and met her gaze. "I ... I trust you as well....Phoenix."

Phoenix felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. She hadn't realised quite how much she'd needed to hear those words until Gary said them. "Good. Because I don't particularly fancy finding myself another best friend at this stage of my life." A small smile appeared, although her eyes were suspiciously bright. "And frankly, you've put up with me for this long. It would be a terrible waste of all that effort to give up now." She glanced at the PADDs scattered across his desk.

"I've missed this, you know. Being able to walk into your office without wondering whether you're going to give me a readiness report and then find the quickest possible excuse to leave." Her expression grew more thoughtful. "I know I can't expect you to forget what happened, Gary. And I don't want you pretending it didn't hurt just to make me feel better." She leaned forward slightly.

"But I do want you to know something. If I'm ever in that condition again, if you think my judgement is compromised, I expect you to relieve me of command. I don't care how furious I get, what I threaten you with, or how many admirals I claim to know." Her smile turned decidedly mischievous. "Although if I start threatening to call Admiral Sharr, you have my permission to sedate me immediately." She stood, then hesitated. "Come here, Gary." She opened her arms, offering him a hug. "And don't you dare tell anyone I've gone soft. I've spent years cultivating my terrifying reputation."

Gary was silent as Phoenix spoke. It seemed the chill in the room had disappeared and the temperature had risen to mark the warmth of her words. "I would hate to have to break someone in to deal with you." His attempt at levity matching hers. "And yes the wasted would be quite considerable."

His eyes followed hers as she glanced at the PaDDs scattered about his desk before returning to look at her. "You've always been welcome here and I promise no finding a quick excuse to leave." He gave a brief nod of his head, "Alright, no pretending."

A mischievous grin appeared on his face as she spoke about if the situation ever rose again to relieve her of command. "No worries there." He muttered maybe a little too quickly. "And sedating you is always an option." He moved from behind his desk as she stood and opened her arms. He moved quickly, his arms going around hers in an answering hug as he felt the connection he thought lost be reestablished. "Your secret is safe." He assured her, "Besides who would believe me anyways? Commodore Lalor- Richardson gone soft? Not on your life." He gently joked.

"Mattias might believe you." Phoenix said with a smile.

"Yeah, of course he would." Gary replied with a smile of his own, totally unconvinced Mattias would ever believe Phoenix had gone soft.

Phoenix took a breath. "Thank you again for your time, I need to continue my day."

Gary's eyes remained on hers. "Thank you for coming by, thank you for the conversation and thank you for being you. It is most appreciated and I am extremely grateful you came by. Don't be a stranger, your welcome here anytime." The last said as a message that they were moving forward together and that was a good thing.

Phoenix nodded and left him to his paperwork.