Is marriage the way to go?

Posted on Wed Oct 28th, 2020 @ 12:08am by Lieutenant Commander Aurelia Taylor

"Computer, record for my personal log".

She thought hard as the response arrived, =^="Computer ready"=^=. Lia took a deep breath, "Begin, well this is a bit unusual. Because finally I have some time to record a log, but my thoughts and feelings make it a difficult one to talk about. Once again Gary and myself have had an argument about kids, he seems to pick them up and readily adopts them like they were stamps or something. But doesn't get the fact that when he brings his latest find to our quarters, it hurts me. It really hurts me like hell, because I know how great a father he might be. Christ every man and his dog keeps telling me that, but neither he or the kids parents seem to even consider how I might feel. He's going to be my partner for life, or is he? He wants kids so do I, but I can't have kids or at least not yet maybe never. Yet he keeps sticking kids under my nose, and say's you can be a part of their lives".

Lia walked to the bed and sat down, "Sorry world, I don't want to be apart of their lives. I want to be a mother to my own child, a child like angel. Why can't he see that? What makes it so difficult for him to understand, I don't want a five o'clock kid?" She moved onto the bed, drawing her feet in towards her. "That's why I might ask Phoenix for a transfer, leave the Elysium and start fresh else where. Staying here and getting married just might be a mistake, especially if it turns out I can never have kids ever again". She glanced out of the window, "First the miscarriage, then the Romulans. And finally to top it all off a kidnapping and the Mirror Universe makes sure we are kept separated, and dear old Gary say's we'll talk it all out. WHEN?? We don't get five bloody minuets to ourselves, and he wants to talk. I think we should just part while we're friends, because I don't see it getting any easier as time moves on".

She sat and thought some more, "Am I looking at this all wrong? Am I being pedantic? I just can't see a way through all this, and I really can't see him wanting to stay with me if he can't have a kid of his own. Oh he say's it doesn't matter, but it does. He knows it, I know it and I think it just might be a deal breaker. I don't want to lie to him, and I won't lead him on with a promise I can't keep. So yeah we might talk one day, but I think we'll be saying good bye. Computer, save and place into my personal logs.