My Last Hope

Posted on Wed Dec 19th, 2018 @ 9:11am by Commander Liselle Qwyyn & Lieutenant Commander Matias Grronkil

Mission: Season 2: Episode 3: Determination is not always a good thing
Location: Elysium - Engineering
Timeline: MD 1
1114 words - 2.2 OF Standard Post Measure

She had to turn her body fully sideways to avoid colliding with a man jogging his way to a nearby console in Main Engineering. It always struck Liselle how impressively busy it was down here. On the bridge, things tended to be calm, quiet, and in control. Though, she supposed it was because of the people so busily working down here that made the state of the bridge possible.

Avoiding yet another member of the Engineering staff, Liselle finally found what she was looking for. Or rather, who. "Matias," she asked softly from behind the Chief Engineering Officer. "Do you have a moment?"

"Liselle," he said, "Congratulations on your promotion. What can I do for you?"

At first no words would come. Just seeing him now, she felt a profound sense of sadness. Of loss. She swallowed, turning her eyes toward his nearby office. "I'd like to talk to you about something," she finally managed. "If you have time that is. I'm sure you're busy."

"I'm never too busy for you, Liselle? What is on your mind?" He was no Betazed, but he sensed it was important.

As always, the genuine concern she felt from him swelled her heart. At once she feared that she might even begin to cry. A finger went subconsciously to dab at her eye. Just in case. She forced a reassuring smile, and gestured towards his office. "Do you think it would be okay if we spoke alone?"

Matias realized he had missed her subtle hints. "Of course, forgive me, please," he said. "Please come into my office so we can have some privacy." He led her inside.

She sat on the edge of his desk, bracing herself there with her hands for a moment before pushing herself back up to her feet, realizing that such an overly casual posture was probably not appropriate. Then again, she was about to ask him for something incredibly personal...

"Matias," she said, not quite looking at him, "There's something I want to ask you, and I want you to feel absolutely free to say no." She cleared her throat and pressed on before she had a chance to lose her nerve. "My people, well, joined Trills actually, we have this ceremony called the zhian'tara. Essentially, the joined trill -- me -- would have all of my hosts telepathically transferred from me and into the bodies of people I choose, so that I can communicate directly with them and find closure with my past. It is a very private and emotional ceremony and I am supposed to choose people that I trust completely." She looked at him fully now. "I would like to ask you to be one of those people for me."

Tears came to the eyes of Matias. "You trust me that much, Liselle?" he said. "I would be honored to be one of them. And...I need to tell you something. You remember telling me that I would have to share you with other lovers? I need to tell you of something that you may have to share me as well if you trust me like that. With few exceptions, we Grral are bisexual. I hope that doesn't make you hate me."

"Matias..." Qwyyn said softly. "Of course I don't hate you for that. Not at all. In fact, you'll find a great many of the Federation membership worlds have no problems with pansexuality.But I also want you to know that our break-up is not about me finding other lovers. It never was. I just need some time outside of any relationships for a while. You understand, right?"

"I'm giving you the space you need because I care for you," said Matias. "But to your need for this ceremony, I accept."

"Thank you," she said. And she hesitated, forcing herself to ask her next question. "So...are you...seeing anyone else now? I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"We Grral are more open than most, and no, I am not seeing anybody else at the moment," he said. "My mate knew I had another lover when she was alive, and she was all right with him."

With lips tucked between her teeth, Qwyyn slowly nodded. She pushed herself up from his desk and began pacing in his office. "This Trill ceremony," she said, turning back to him, "...you would essentially be allowing my previous host to take complete control over you. For a short period of time, of course. But their thoughts and their memories would stay with you for a long time. It could be very difficult to deal with."

"I understand," said Matias. "And I am prepared for any hardship connected with it."

Qwyyn swallowed. There was a question on her lips, and she found herself speaking it before she could second guess herself. "Why are you so nice to me?" she asked. "You have every reason to hate me. Gods, I hate me when I think about what I've put you through."

"Do we need to go over that again?" said Matias. "I care for you more deeply than you realize. You push me away, though you don't seem to want me to go away. I can't hate you for that, as you're the one who is suffering for it. I don't want you to suffer more."

She reached out to touch his muzzle. "You're a good person, Matias."

Remembering herself, she drew her hand back to her side. With a self aware sigh, she pressed on with the details of what she was asking of her former lover. "The host that I am asking you to...host...his name was Melbin. He was a Trill Guardian, a very serious and stoic man. He was the one who ended up choosing me to take the Qwyyn symbiont from him. I'm afraid that when I confront him -- when he resides within you -- that I might be very bitter and angry toward him for not preparing me enough to be joined. Are you going to be able to handle that?"

"I think so," said Matias. "I've dealt with that with you, meaning no offense."

She flushed red, feeling the burn of embarrassment on her cheeks. "You're right. Of course," she said. Pushing herself up from his desk, she reached out to take one of his paws in her hands. "Thank you, Matias. I won't forget this."

"My pleasure, Liselle," said Matias, as he picked up her hand and kissed it.

And for a moment, she remembered the old times they had shared. And she smiled.

OFF

Lt. Commander Matias Grronkil
Chief Engineer
USS Elysium

&

Commander Liselle Qwyyn
Second Officer / Chief Flight Control
USS Elysium