It's not over till it's over

Posted on Thu Dec 23rd, 2021 @ 7:12pm by Lieutenant Myne Redal
Edited on on Thu Dec 23rd, 2021 @ 10:35pm

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: DECK 9 - Cabin 41 W-O
Timeline: MD15 1800
1825 words - 3.7 OF Standard Post Measure

//ON//

"Breathe. Deeply, breathe." Sudra spoke softly, in a worried tone from behind Myne. She stood in the steamy bathroom, staring into the mirror, her uniform on the floor, charred in places. Her skin was marred by a few burns here and there, not to mention dirty. She was still in her underwear, staring intently, face stained with tears as the hot shower continued to waste water to her left.

"Myne, stop it now! You have to calm down and relax." Sudra spoke again. "Damn it girl, you summon me to help you keep control. For the love of all that is holy, will you stop and listen to me?"

The young Trill turned her head to gaze behind her, over her shoulder, eyes red from so many tears spilled. "Shut... the fuck... up. Sudra... you stupid, fucking... asshole. You... you did this to me. He... he almost killed me this time around. And it is all your fault." Myne replied with a tone so full of venom, spite, malice and anger, the likes of which she could not remember ever using.

I’ve got my life laid out in front of me like roads drawn on a map
I’ve had so many times where I slipped off the beaten path
I took the time to see the picture and for what its worth
I’d walk a thousand miles without my shoes to make it work
I swore to god that I’m never goin back kept my faith when I was clapped
Starin’ at the world through a crack in the floor and these metal doors that got me trapped
I gotta remind myself that my mind is strong so I wont lose my head
I got my demons that I fight with every little thought and every breath

The song could be heard roaring in the cabin, to cover her words and her actions. To cover them from herself, to drown her own thoughts and senses if anything. A song from old Earth that captured her attention and mind in a way she never expected.

"Focus child, focus! This is not my fault and you know it!" Sudra replied sternly, trying both to help this new incarnation of himself calm down while at the same time avoiding responsibility in the same manner he had for all of his life. "How is this my fault?"

"You. Oh you you you..." Myne muttered turning her head from left to right trying to contain her anger. "YOU TALKED ME INTO MEDITATING AGAIN YOU STUPID IDIOT!!" She blurted out and smashed her fist into the mirror shattering it as she stared at Sudra. Well, the mirror didn't shatter nor did it show any sign of the impact. The reality of it all was that Myne had terrible upper body strength, and the following scream of pain as she buckled and grabbed her own wrist tearing up in pain was an indicator of that.

"Myne, you feinted in your own cabin and remained passed out on the damn floor for three hours! You are working yourself to death, you barely sleep anymore and you simply do not rest or relax. No one can keep it up like this for too long!" Sudra continue, trying his best to be comforting, though partly still working to shift the blame away from himself.

I wear my heart up on my sleeve so my souls exposed
And I carry this disease the weight of the Holy Ghost
God can you hear me
God is missing

Falling to the floor on her butt, she rested her back against the wall and closed her eyes, jaw still clenched in pain as she held her pained fist. "Yeah, you try sleeping when you see all those people looking at you. Those faces twisted in fear, in pain, the torment and agony we caused."

"I did manage to sleep child. The nightmares did not haunt me like this, I do not understand why you have it so bad." Sudra knelt down beside her, clearly worried for his former pupil.

"That's because you drank yourself to sleep you stupid, old drunk!" Myne angrily barked at him before wincing in pain and tearing up, caressing her hurt fist.

"That is uncalled for child. Can you stop cursing already? This is unbecoming of you Myne!" Sudra gently tried to chastise her for losing control in such a manner.

"Oh please, can you shut it already? I have your memories and trust me, I could have done without knowing how much you spent hunched over the toilet or sink. You drank yourself stupid in order to sleep. I don't have that luxury, so stop giving advice your drunkard!!" Myne continued to angrily bark at him, not giving him an inch.

Take it back take it back my friend
All the things that you said about the end
This is it this is me telling you it ain’t over till it’s over
Give it up give it up my friend
The score is settled even if you won’t admit
The sun is up final hour without a doubt it’s over when it’s over

Sudra bit back his reply, and looked down instead. "I don't understand how this happened. How could Vede do this to you?" He asked looking at the fresh burn marks on her body.

"Really now? Has the old, aged instructor suddenly found himself without an answer? Think logically for once! You told me to freaking relax and I did. I lowered my guard, I allowed myself to be unfocused, to calm down." Myne muttered as she nursed her hurt fist.

True to her words, Sudra did not have an answer. He might have been a good instructor at the Academy, but he had been lacking as a person. Looking miserable, he rested his back against the wall as well. "Please tell me Myne." He asked in a low tone.

"I relaxed. I was relaxed, I was free of tension and worry. I had two good days. Was working on a console, trying to fix some circuitry on my own and then he struck. When I had by guard lowered when I least expected. Fucking Vede, that murderer will get me killed." Myne explained bitterly looking down at the burns of her body.

"Wait, how did he strike exactly?" Sudra asked worriedly.

"He took my hand. It jerked towards the power distribution of the console and he jammed her the freaking screwdriver in. Took me two hours to wake up, luckily I was in one of the ops cargo bays and no one came by." She sighed and straightened her back, looking up at the steam-filled bathroom.

"How? How did he break through?" The older Trill asked.

"Are you really asking me that? Have you forgotten what Iza made you do? Stop asking stupid questions." The younger Trill sighed and trembled at the terrifying memory.

You’ve got your life laid out in front of you like a car crash
Unconscious at the wheel cause you were driving to fast
But if you took the time to check up in your review mirror
You’d see the things your driving from are your biggest fears
You gotta get back up from the wreckage above and walk right through the fire
No matter what happens the fact is that the flames keep getting higher
You gotta keep it going keep tip-toeing through the fir and the flames and the pain of knowing
That the world is dark gotta keep on glowing getting give that spark gotta keep on glowing

"We are so lucky T'Kara wasn't here. Nor has she caught me when I passed out in the cabin before. Things would have gone to hell in a handbasket rather quickly if she had." The young Trill instead stared at the door to her cabin, while the song continued to fill both the cabin loudly and the bathroom to a lesser degree.

"Why are doing this child? Stop avoiding your friends, they are the ones who will root you, stabilize you, help you." Sudra brought his hand and placed it on her shoulder gently.

"Yeah, great advice. Remind me, how many friends did you have Sudra? After our... no, after your, YOUR family died. Hm? How many? Not even freaking one, since drinking buddied do not freaking count!" Again she barked at him fuming, angry, bitter and most important of all, afraid and terrified.

"Stop it already. Stop pitying yourself, my faults are my own. But you have it so much better, make the most of it already. Talk to your friends..." Sudra never managed to finish that idea.

"Shut. The fuck. Up! Stop it! STOP TALKING!! I don't have any friends. No one likes me, they like the airheaded, stupid idiot I show them!" She interrupted her former teacher and barked out her deepest fear.

"MYNE! You know that is not..." Sudra raised his own voice starting to get rather angry himself now with his former protegee.

"SHUT UP!! We are a murderer! We killed, tortured and ruined so many lives that I... I cannot live with myself. No... no no no no, oh no no, you killed them. You, Vede, Iza and all the others. You are all monsters and... I HATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!" Myne screamed and grabbed her head.

"Myne..." Sudra tried once more to get to her.

"They will all hate me. When they find out they will all hate me. Sapphire, T'Kara, Rin, Damien, Vira, Super Garrett..." The young Trill began to cry, her burnt arms wrapping around herself.

"That is not..." Again, poor Sudra tried to reach his broken student. His own experiences being of no help. He had been no better, he failed in his task twice now.

"Please Sudra... please... just go away. I should have never summoned you... just go, leave me alone... please... you will kill me if I listen to you anymore." The tearful Myne begged as she began to rock back and forth, her face buried into her raised up knees.

So please, please just let me make my peace
I refuse to let your words be the death of me
Please, please just let me live my life
Stop living in my shadow and just make it right

The song finally finished and Myne, managed to stop crying long enough to look up. She was alone, Sudra was gone. He would not bother her anymore, she sent him away, back to just being memories and unhealthy impulses. The least threatening ones at that, though with a voice of reason that brought her the more peril so far.

"I hate you Redal, you evil parasite."

//OFF//

Lieutenant JG Myne Redal
Assistant Chief Operations Officer
USS Elysium

Lieutenant Sudra Redal
Academy Instructor - Starfleet Academy Earth
Former Redal Host