Psychological Leave

Posted on Fri May 6th, 2022 @ 6:07pm by Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson & Captain Garrett Lovejoy [ Taylor] & Lieutenant Commander Alicia Kelea-Salik & Lieutenant Commander Savar cha'Salik hei-Surak Talek-sen-deen [Taylor] & Chief Warrant Officer Man'darr [Naxea]

Mission: Season 5: Interlude: Darkness Abounds
Location: Shuttlebay
Timeline: MD 3
687 words - 1.4 OF Standard Post Measure

Psychological leave. Perhaps it was for the best. A part of Jess was wondering what it was all for. Another was tired people were disappearing. A part was disappointed in herself for being so weak. And another she just sighed. "Pacifica. PTSD treatment... Goddess damned shrinks. Maybe this will be a good thing. Get my shit together."

Alicia was on her way to see Savar and their children off onto the evacuee shuttle, as much as she hated having to be parted from her family she was the Chief Counsellor and it was her place to be on the ship. Besides she wanted to know Savar, Connor and N'Vea were safe. Having seen Jess preparing to leave she paused long enough to say hello. "Jess ... heading off to Pacifica?"

Jess responded. "Yeah. You guys probably don't need a loose cannon like me around with my head not squared away. I'll just fuck it all up right now, and disappoint more people than I'll impress. I've probably already pissed everyone off, even Man'darr. Ah hell, you guys don't need my conscience buzzing in your ears on this mission. Especially when half of me is probably bat-shit crazy. Rest assured, the shrinks on Pacifica will have me all worked out." Jess tossed her duffel into the type 10 shuttle. "Don't worry about me. I fight my battles on the outside, ill fight them in my mind."

~"One day, you will face the same. One day you will be like she was. And when that day comes, you will see me, a la Cheshire cat, watching." ~ the words echoed through Jess's head. Put there by someone long forgotten.

"Ugh...." Jess suddenly remembered it, though she didn't want to. "That's it, I am Bat-Shit crazy. Now I'm remembering things I don't want to."

Alicia offered an understanding smile. "That could also be a good thing Jess. It's not good to bury anything, maybe it's just something you need to face."

"I know Counselor, you don't get the Starfleet Medal of Honor, without paying the price for it. And I will arrive on Pacifica. I don't really have anything better to do right now." Jess noted.

Man'darr had overseen some of the civilians off the ship before having to head to the cargo bay, along with the colonel. Seeing Jess packing, frustrated him as he approached. He had hoped she would stay. "So, you are truly leaving then?" he asked as he approached the two women.

"Man'darr, Colonel. There's something very wrong with me.. I keep on seeing people die against the Terrans in my dreams. Hopkins... And it's only getting worse." Jess noted. "Much worse. I'll return, but... I just keep on seeing people die every night."

Alicia offered Jess an understanding smile. “We all went through hell in that mirror universe Jess, you’re not the only one to have nightmares about it. You’ve tried forgetting but those memories need to be talked about, that’s why you’re going on this trip.”

Man'darr grunted as he disapproved of Jess leaving. As her Imzadi, he believed she should stay with him and talk to him about anything that was bothering her. Was she going to run off to a shrink every time something bad happened? But he knew her well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to change her mind. "Well, enjoy your trip. I should get back to making sure these civilians get abord the shuttles," he turned to leave.

"Listen.. I just need to get some things out of my head." Jess noted. "It's nothing personal. It's just this cloak and dagger has me... I don't know what to think, and I don't know what I'm serving. Maybe I'll find out, but I will be back."

Garrett stood back and watched as Jess spoke with Alicia. He knew this was hard for Jess, but it was also the best for her and something she needed before her career came crashing down around her and there was nothing to salvage. He saw Warrant officer Man'darr also with Jess and Alicia but staying silent at least for now.