Marine Captain's Personal Log: Stardate 72701.3

Posted on Thu Dec 8th, 2022 @ 2:13pm by Captain Samuel Woolheater
Edited on on Thu Dec 8th, 2022 @ 2:14pm

Mission: Season 6 : Episode 1: Circinus
Location: DECK THIRTY-TWO - MARDET OFFICE
Timeline: MD03: 0400 HOURS
892 words - 1.8 OF Standard Post Measure

[ON:]

”Marine captain’s personal log. Stardate 72701.3. You realize how much you truly miss someone when something happens, good or bad, and the only person you want to tell is the one person who isn’t there."

Samuel had a moment, but just one, to think about the hole in his heart. To him, it was a gaping wound. It felt tender and raw. Maybe it was because of the not knowing? Maybe it was because of not being able to do a damn thing about it. Sam sat down in the destroyed marine office. He picked a chair off the deck. The armrest was broken, and it no longer had a backing. He righted it and pulled it up to a few crates. Took off his helmet and laid down his work if only for a moment. It wasn’t a quiet moment, there was need all around him and he knew that he didn’t have a long time – or even the right amount of time – to spend here. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Andrinn Orin. And there was no one with which to share his concern with.


”Andrinn? I miss you bud. I miss you so much. It feels like I have a hole in my chest. If I could, I would make my way to wherever you are. Other people are missing their loved ones too. And I guess that I’m just slow to admit that I miss you more than I ever thought I would. Or could. I realized, the first minute. Maybe less when my first thoughts turned to you. Were you safe? Were you hurt? And I couldn’t express that to anybody. All the sudden, I was in command, and I was responsible to do my duty. To do my training and do my job. I’m so used to shoving my emotions away it was second nature to do so. I thought I didn’t know any other way. But the hole in my heart won’t go away. And I refuse to file you away like everything else. You mean more than that to me. And they can’t understand, what hurts more—missing the other person, or pretending not to.”

Samuel closes his eyes and rests his head in his hands. Sighing, a momentary oasis in a desert of need.

”Andrinn, I realized today that the only effects of you I have are in my memory. Seeing you in my mind’s eye; the way you smile when you see me; like the whole world stops. It stops for me too. In my mind’s eye I can see you at the Richardson’s wedding. I never told you; not really, not with words, how handsome you looked that day. How, much I admire how you make people feel when you talk to them. How good you make me feel when you talk to me. And I realized that all the feelings are in my heart, but I can’t show them to anyone. There are no words I can use to describe them. Oh, how I wish I could borrow a poet, just once to tell you what’s in my heart. What language can I borrow? It is like, when you kiss me. I am a man who deserves none of this. But look! He kisses me like he misses me, even before I have to go.”

A marine PFC knocks on the wall, “Captain Woolheater?” Sam lifts his head and answers, “Yes Corporal, what do you need?”

“Sorry to bother you, Captain. Gunny Hammar wants to know if we’re going to open marine private quarters to the crew. Keeping families together, or the most injured. We also need you to decide the watch schedule sir.”

Sam nods and puts his helmet back on and the forearm pieces to his body armor, “Yup. Be right there. Wait just a sec OK? Put myself back together here?”

“Yes Captain” he said and waited at the doorway.

”Andrinn, I don’t know where you are; but I hope that you are safe. I only know that the smallest distance is too far. And the greatest distance is not so far that it can’t be bridged. I hope you are alive; this can’t be the end of us. And though my wrongs, they are many, no right do I have to ask this but how I want to see you again. I miss you with every breath. You are everywhere but right here, and it hurts. Andrinn, I miss you. Don’t leave me behind; wait for me and I will find you.”

“Captain?” the voice of the marine came back.

Sam answered, “Yeah. I’m here.” He got to his feet. Tightened his forearms and snapped the helmet into place. His bodyarmor responded with a “ping” that let him know it was sealed. Sam walked closer and said, “Got a lot on my mind you know? Didn’t think that today would go down quite like this you know?”

“Sir, yes sir” the Corporal’s response came. Sam nodded, “OK. Ooo-rah! Back to work.”



[OFF:]

Captain Samuel Woolheater
“Saepius Exertus, Semper Fidelis, Frater Infinitas”
Division VI, MARDET 62nd Company "Spartans", 1st Platoon CO
=/\= USS ELYSIUM - NCC-89000 =/\=