The First Step

Posted on Sun Mar 17th, 2019 @ 1:40pm by Commander Liselle Qwyyn & Lieutenant Commander Savar cha'Salik hei-Surak Talek-sen-deen [Taylor]

Mission: Season 2: Episode 3: Determination is not always a good thing
Location: Elysium Lounge
Timeline: MD 1 - 18h00
1783 words - 3.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Savar entered the Elysium's bar. it wasn't a place he normally visited but he wanted to get out of his quarters and do a little exploring of the Elysium and he ended up here. he approached the bar and ordered a fruit juice. While he waited he looked about the lounge it wasn't too
crowded, mostly couples sharing a quiet drink and conversation. He stopped his sightseeing of the lounge as his eyes fell upon a solitary figure sitting in a booth, a drink in front of her but barely touched and if he was to guess by the look on her face apparently deep in thought. He turned back to the bar to get his drink and then taking a deep breath, walked over to the figure.

"Commander Qwyyn. It is good to see you again." Not the most witty line but certainly honest and true enough. "I am sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to say hello."

She offered him a smile, half-hearted and weary from a day of forced smiles. "Lieutenant...Savar, was it?"

He nodded even as Qwyyn gave him a weary smile. The weariness of the smile was reflected in her face. Even her eyes (which he noted were a rich chocolate brown) were weary. "Yes Commander. I am impressed as well as pleased that you remember. We spoke briefly at the Christmas party."

"Right." She nodded as the memories of that night came back to her. "I remember we talked about...finger skating?"

"Figure skating." He corrected gently. He gestured to the booth, "May I join you? It is rather awkward to carry on a conversation this way."

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry," she stammered with a welcoming hand held out to the opposite side of her table. "I'm usually not so rude. I'm just...a little worn down today."

"Thank you." He replied as he sat down opposite her. "As for being rude, you are not. I believe the more appropriate term is preoccupied. Is there anything I can help with? I am a very good listener."

"Oh, it's nothing really," she assured him. And then, without further prompting she continued on. "It's just that planet where we found those alternate versions of ourselves. I can't get it out of my head. I mean none of those things we saw actually happened to me, or any of us in this reality, but I just can't stop thinking about it."

He nodded but made no comment, Several seconds passed before he did reply. "I disagree Commander. While it is true what happened to your alternate self was not you. It could have well been you and was up tp a certain moment in time and as such it weighs on your mind. I dare say you are not alone in your feelings on what could have been. I could give a more appropriate answer if I knew more.... if you wish to tell me."

"That's just it," she said, "I really don't even know what I'm stuck on! Is it seeing that Matias and I didn't work out? Seeing that Command Taylor and I apparently did? Or is it because somehow, even though I thought it was utterly impossible, I was willing to become a doctor again." She laughed, despite herself. "Or maybe it's all of the above!"

Savar didn't rush a reply. He was relieved that Commander Qwyyn had decided to tell him this much. When he did speak he spoke slowly, thinking on his words and their impact on Liselle. " Very astute Commander. I believe you are experiencing a case of what ifs Commander and they all center on your twin self. What if you and Commander Matias hadn't broken up? How would your life change? Conversely, you saw your life with Commander Taylor and the changes it brought. Then finally the fact that you were once again a doctor. Willing to put the lives of the crew before your own well being." He paused and took a breath, "I think all of what you have told me is interconnected and the connection is you and your search to be happy and all three of these scenarios show you happy and content."

Qwyyn's eyes went almost sarcastically wide the overwhelming task of finding that happiness. "Sounds great," she laughed. "Do you have any suggestions on my next step?"

If Savar recognized the sarcastic look on Liselle's face he ignored it. Looking at her, he nodded slowly, "I do. You must first stop worrying what others think. Lose your inhibitions or at least relax your hold on them." He paused looked almost embarrassed as he said. "It is not a journey you should undertake alone. I would be honored to accompany you."

"I don't mean to be negative..." Qwyyn began carefully. She had been through her share of counsellors in the past to wildly varying degrees of success. More often than not, their attempts fell well short of the success mark. "But I've seen plenty of counsellors in the last few years. This might be as good as it gets for me."

"Commander." Savar replied, "I believe you are underestimating yourself. In addition, I am not other counselors, I believe you can achieve this. Furthermore..." He said his next words carefully, "I do not believe you are to use a Terran term, a quitter. Was I mistaken?"

Qwyyn found herself nodding, slowly at first. "Alright, Counsellor. You've certainly peaked my interest. I'm game."

Savar allowed himself a passing moment of satisfaction at Qwyyn's acceptance of his comment on her reluctance to allow herself to be happy. "Excellent Commander, I am most pleased you agreed. Now that is taken care of. The next step is to commence in your journey. I think to help in promoting a relaxed atmosphere we call each other by our names, not our ranks. That is if you agree."

She inclined her head to him in a long-practiced bow of respectful greeting. "Liselle," she formally offered her name.

He returned the respectful nod, " A pleasure Liselle." He replied honestly "I am Savar, as the rest of my name, I am afraid looks more like alphabet soup and is just as hard to pronounce."

Picking up on his choice of phrasing, she cocked her head to one side. "You don't speak like most Vulcans I've met."

He nodded at her observation. "Quite correct Com. I mean Liselle. Suffice to say, I am not like most Vulcans. I am considered an outcast because I engage in emotional outbursts. I hope that doesn't cause you any discomfort."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned," she admitted. But then she held up a respectful hand, as if to quiet herself. "Really it's none of my business. As you get to know me, you'll find that I often have a hard time keeping my thoughts to myself."

"I see." His tone subdued. "Perhaps I should explain more fully. I rebelled against the venlinahr which is the traditional state of adult discipline. I am considered vrekasht an outcast for my refusal to embrace the emotionless state of thinking my countrymen do." He looked at her, "I don't wish you to be inhibited around me Liselle. If you have a question ask. Only by asking can you obtain an answer."

She took a hold of her drink but did not bring it from the table. "Actually, I have spent a great deal of time on Vulcan myself. Well, two of my previous hosts did. Although that was --" her eyes looked to the ceiling as she did the math "-- Gods, eighty years ago." She coughed a small laugh as the passage of so much time -- gone too soon -- struck her.

"Like sand through an hourglass. So we must make the most of the time we have." He observed. Unlike my brothers and sisters, I laugh, cry tell jokes though not as much as a human might but I am illogical in my thinking according to my fellow Vulcans."

"I -- Well -- I --" She stammered as she found herself floundering for her words. Finally she gave up on a meek smile as she looked down into her cup a moment. To collect herself. And finally back up at him. "I'm sorry, Savar. I -- I don't mean to offend you."

"I am sorry Liselle. I have made you uncomfortable that was not my intent. Know you cannot offend me in your questions I take no offense where none is given. I only wished to get to know you better. I …." He paused and searched for the right words. I, wished to ask you out." He said quietly.

She blinked. Her eyes searching the room around them a moment. "Out...where?"

He met her gaze directly. "I believe the Terran term is on a date."

Her mouth opened as if to say 'oh.' But no sound actually came out. Her very first thought was of Matias. She could still remember the well-rehearsed speech she had given him about needing some time to just be by herself and unburdened by the pressures of a relationship. "I'm flattered," she said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind one ear. "Really. But...this...just isn't a good time for that sort of thing. My life right now is a bit of a tornado. In fact, I'm supposed to be returning to Trill soon. In a few days, actually."

"I see." He said stiffly trying to hide the hurt but not altogether succeeding. "I am sorry to have inconvenienced you Liselle. Please enjoy the rest of your drink and evening. Though you should ask yourself the question if not now, when?"

She offered him a weak smile, though she didn't have an answer for his question. If anything, she found herself feeling overly vulnerable and embarrassed. The jump from helpful counselor to courting gentleman had certainly been jarring, and she found she wasn't exactly sure what had just happened.

She wanted to talk to Gary. That's what she wanted.

Would it be wrong to call him? She'd been leaning on him so much lately...

He could see Liselle's vulnerability in her eyes. "I have no desire to upset you further Liselle. I still feel it would be wise for us to speak on a professional basis. However that is your decision."

"I'll...be in touch once I get back from Trill," she said.

"Of course Liselle." He replied softly.

When he left the room, Qwyyn immediately surrendered to her impulse, reaching up to tap her comm badge to contact Commander Taylor.

OFF

Commander Liselle Qwyyn
Chief Flight Control / Second Officer
US's Elysium

Lt. Savar
Counselor
USS Elysium