Apples and Oranges

Posted on Thu Aug 15th, 2024 @ 9:31pm by Lieutenant Colonel Azhul Naxea & Gunnery Sergeant Luxa Gami [Naxea] & Lieutenant Commander S'hib

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Naxeas offices - Various
Timeline: Sometime after Escape Artist. - Before MD: 1
2437 words - 4.9 OF Standard Post Measure

S'hib sat at his desk, reading through the weekly report. He sighed heavily at the news of another body being found by damage control teams, the second to be recovered from catastrophic damage on deck 15.

"Crewman Nathaniel R Roberts..." S'hib muttered softly, he had not known the man but a part of him wished he had.

Even in the relative calm, the last few weeks had brought, the crew had constantly been reminded of the scars they and the Elysium wore.

At least he hadn't been lost to the void, like so many had when their ship, their home had been shot across the galaxy. It would give his family some measure of closure, unlike the others.

Finally, S'hib looked up, letting the PADD in his hand clatter to the desk as he stared at his office door.

"Alright, fine... whatever, let's get this over with." He huffed, as he stood, almost taking the desk with him before leaving his office.

"Ensign," S'hib said as he turned into the main hall, striding down the middle of rows of desks. "I'm heading out for a bit, something I gotta do."

"Do I need to get a medic on standby or are we good?" Victor asked as he looked up from his desk, watching the giant Sequus barrelling towards the door.

"No, it's ok" S'hib sighed, slowing his pace somewhat. "I can get to sickbay myself thank you." He added before heading out into the corridor.

Victor sucked in air through his teeth, he knew what this was about and didn't envy the man. "You think we should let the next guys on shift know he's gonna be grumpy later?" He said quietly to the crewman next to him.

"I thought he was always grumpy." The young man said before his grin was wiped off his face by a heavy old fist hitting him in the arm.

"You would be too if you were going through what he's going through, a Dominion boarding party is more preferable to an angry woman... and trust me, I know," Victor said, scolding the man.

"But yeah, you're right..."

"Then why'd you hit me!?" The crewman blurted out.

Victor smirked, turning slightly to glance at the crewman. "Cos' being right doesn't mean you can be a dick about it."

Back in the hallways, S'hib was quiet, steeling himself on the short walk to the turbolift for the mental battle to come as he stepped inside.

"Deck thirty-two..." He uttered before breathing in and watching the doors shut, exhaling deeply once the pod began to move.

This was not going to be easy, he thought... and not just because of Naxea, but the rest of Marine County. The whole damn deck wanted a piece of him and he knew it.

"Dunes consume me... why didn't I date a Scientist or an Engineer... Engineers aren't scary."

Deck by deck hummed by as he ran his stubby cloven fingers through his mane, trying to ignore the awful knot swelling in his gut.

But then he was there, staring out onto the empty corridor, so much so the door started to shut again. Thankfully he caught it, shunting it back into the alcove before ducking out and onto Marine County.

"Ok." He sighed to himself as his ears flicked about nervously, there were, after all, quite a few Marines that he really didn't want to bump into down here, especially a certain Gunnery Sergeant.

A Marine on guard spotted the large figure of S'hib walking down the corridor. "Halt!" the Marine said. "State your identity and reason for being here!". The Marine knew who S'hib was--who on the ship didn't? But it was the standard challenge for anyone not a Marine visiting Marine Country.

"It's alright, Corporal," came a female voice belonging to Gunnery Sergeant Gami as she approached and placed a hand on the corporal's shoulder before levelling a glare at S'hib as her eyes seemed to darken in response. "I'm sure the big dumb ox just got lost."

S'hib sighed, wondering if the universe was laughing at him right now. "Hello, Gami..." He said before continuing to walk off, his tone uninterested and bereft of any joy, simply intent on ending the interaction as soon as possible.

"Yeah, you can stop right there," Gami said, holding up a hand. "I'm not going to stop you from visiting the Colonel but I am going to say this once. You scream at her or lay an unwanted finger on her again and so help me, you won't leave this deck with a coherent thought. Or control of your bodily functions."

He did stop, but not because she had asked him too, turning and closing the distance between them in but only a few heavy hoof steps. “Do not threaten me with that which you know nothing about.” He snorted with his own tongue as his thick Sequellian accent came through.

He knew he wasn’t going to intimidate Gami, and he wasn't trying. But he wasn’t about to take what she had said lying down.

“I’m not the one that pawns off her daughter to others!” He continued, pointing a cloven finger at her. “While also frequently denouncing an important part of my culture, Sle’annas culture at the same time.”

He stepped closer, lowering his stature to be almost eye level with her.

“Im not the one that trashed our quarters, trashed the only home our daughter has ever known!”

He stood up, furious and balling up in anger. “I’m not the only one who’s fucked up, alright? so will you get off my arse Gami and let me go see her.”

Gami cocked her head, letting out a chuckle. "Wow, you really are dense, aren't you? One, I told you I'm not stopping you from seeing her. Two, you're the one who wasn't there when she needed you the most.
How do you expect her to react? Especially after you shoved her.
You assaulted her at her most vulnerable point. Three, I take care of Sle'anna so the Colonel can do her damn job of running this Detachment. It's not like she is just giving her to a stranger. We're almost like sisters and have known each other longer than you have known that pink haired helmsman that you're so fond of . And four, I'm not on your ass--pray that I never do. I'm simply giving you a fair warning."

"When she needed me the most was when I pried that dagger out of her hand by the blade, Gami... and since then she's done nothing but spite me."

He breathed in deeply, giving in slightly to the urge to scratch the carpet with his hoof.

"What was I supposed to do? let her do it? have her end up in a Federation prison? and let that bastard tear one more Bajoran mother from her child?"

S'hib shook his head, stepping back and turning slightly to rub his aching miserable face.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for how I acted, Gami, the whole reason I'm here is to grovel and apologise to her, but shes hurt me too, alright... more than once since we got here..."

He turned to look at her again, this time centring himself and calming his resolve with a fierce intensity. "As for Miraj, yeah... I am fond of her and I really don't care what you think of that."

Gami tapped her communicator as she kept her eyes on S'hib. "Gami to Colonel Azhul. Big dumb ox is here to see you."

There was a pause. "Fine, send him in."

Naxea watched as S'hib entered as she stood behind her desk with her arms crossed. "What do you want?" she asked.

For a moment, he was silent, waiting until the door hissed shut behind him

"I just want to talk, Nax..." S'hib said softly before lowering himself to the deck and sitting down. "So please sit down," He added, gently waving a hand downward.

"I'm tired of the posturing from the both of us..." He finished with a heavy sigh as he got comfortable, folding his legs and adjusting his uniform.

"You should have thought about that before you screamed in my face and shoved me," Naxea replied bitterly as she remained standing for a minute before reluctantly sitting down in her desk chair. "You have no idea how much that hurt. As a husband, your job is to love and support your wife, as it is mine to you. Or did you forget that part of the vows that you took when we married? I remember quite well how I supported you even after you assaulted an innocent crewman. I may have been angry, but I was still with you."

"I'm not here for your forgiveness, Nax... I know it isn't gonna be as simple as that, but I am sorry."

He paused, licking his lips as his mouth ran dry. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, the way I've been... the way I've acted," He sighed, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I know I come across as angry all the time but I'm not, I'm not, Nax... I'm just-"

He looked about, fidgeting as he did so. "I'm scared."

"And when I'm scared I lash out because I don't know what else to do."

"So you lash out at me? Your wife? What's to stop you from lashing out at Sle'anna? Naxea said, clasping her hands together on the desk as she leaned forward. "And what are you scared of?"

“I didn’t lash out at you, I pushed you!” S’hib retorted, keeping his voice level despite the crack in his voice. “Which was still wrong, yes… but had I truly lashed out at you, your attack dog out there would have shot me the moment I stepped hoof on this deck.”

“And don’t you dare insinuate I would ever hurt my daughter, I haven’t even raised my voice around her unlike you, Nax.”

"I've done nothing to harm our daughter but you, not me, you have a history of losing control so don't you dare try to put this on me. And define assault for me, Mister," Naxea stated, levelling a finger at S'hib.

"Count your ass lucky I didn't press charges. And I had to call Gami off from hunting you down and making you wish she had shot you after she learned what you did."

"I am your Stal!" S'hib bellowed, his voice tempered but hot. "It's my job to keep your herd safe, even from you... to keep you and Slee together."

He levelled his gaze on her, fiery eyes glazed in brine. "Everything you tried to do that I stopped you from doing, would have put you in a Federation prison... away from her!"

"I've never been more angry in my life, because of you!" He added, pointing a finger back at her.

"You're her mother! and you're supposed to want to be there for her, be in her life, but you didn't! you wanted to be in that fucking prison! you wanted to be in that fucking prison so badly and I hated you for it!"

He raised his fists, wanting nothing more than to smash them down on the floor, to rend and buckle the metal between bloodied fingers until the pain he passed out from the pain.

"Because it would have been me raising her, me! on my own! look at me Naxea, I can't even look after myself how could I look after her?!"

"You're proving my point now," Naxea said, glaring at S'hib. "Everything you claim to hate about me is really just about you. I am sorry if my reaction to seeing a man who killed hundreds of Bajorans, killed my father, and tortured and raped my mother whom I thought was dead, caused me to lash out in a moment of rage. But I guess you wouldn't understand a damn thing I've gone through, would you? You claim to be my Stal and yet, you act like a brute. A real Stal would never lay hands on his wife in anger as you have. A real Stal would support and be there for their wife and not abandon her when she needed him the most!"

"I do understand!" S'hib shot back, his pain a mixture of pain and anger.

"I understood the first night you cried in your sleep and every night after when you would wake yourself up shouting their names, I understood when we found those graves on that damn planet, I understood more than anyone... that the pain in your eyes then was the same as now, which was why I couldn't let you do it!"

"Naxea, that man deserved to die, he deserved that blade, but you didn't deserve to be the one to do it... and I couldn't get you to see that, because I am a brute!"

"I'm a brute and I let you down... I let us both down."

He looked at the floor, tired and defeated. "But I didn't let Slee down... she still has her mother because of me, and I'll never be sorry about that."

Again he fell quiet, his eyes dancing about the carpet beside his hooves as he sat there.

"I don't know where we go from this, Nax, I don't know if we can recover..."

Naxea sighed, forcing herself to calm down as she looked at S'hib. "Look, S'hib," she paused as she chose her next words. "I love you, but you need to calm down. Get help for your anger." Her voice was now softer yet still firm.

"I'm not angry! Nax, I'm scared, I've been scared since I almost lost both of you!" S'hib said while gripping at his mane, digging his hooves into the thick braids. "You're everything to me and I can't even keep my best friend safe, my only friend, safe... let alone the rest of the ship and you and Slee."

"Because you're holding on too tight," Naxea said, getting up from her desk and walking around to kneel in front of S'hib. She hated seeing him like this. "Relax. You're not Sle'anna's only guardian, S'hib. She has Miraj, Gami, me, and nearly every single Marine aboard. Miraj is also safe. Stop trying to shoulder everything and trust in others."

She was right, he was holding on too tight. He even said as much to Alicia... but hearing it from Naxea, all he could do was cry as he leaned towards her sobbing that he was sorry.