Sorry Kyle

Posted on Sun Oct 11th, 2026 @ 6:07am by Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson & Commander Kyle Reece

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Kyle's office
Timeline: After the events of Teev's homeworld
2524 words - 5 OF Standard Post Measure

Phoenix drew in a slow breath, then reached out and pressed the chime beside Kyle’s office door. She could have summoned him to hers. Rank certainly gave her that privilege. But she hadn’t. Some conversations were better faced on the other person’s ground, especially when you already knew you were the one coming to the table with a plate of crow. And this particular serving was best eaten cold.

Kyle was busy going over readiness reports from both the Tactical and Security teams, reading the latest cross-training sessions that they had had with the Romulans, writing up repair requests for both of his departments, to be sent to Ops in the morning, and going over the developing plans for the summit. When his door chime rang, he called out without looking up. "Come!"

Phoenix stepped in and said "Commander Reece." she didn't look around. She simply looked at him. "I owe you an apology for my actions."

Upon hearing the voice of his commanding officer, Kyle reacted instantly, jumping to attention behind his desk. "M-Ma'am?" He stammered slightly, feeling confused by this line of discussion.

"During the events around our people being held by the Lonians. My inability to remain rational and calm put you in a difficult position and at risk and I apologize."

Kyle was silent for a few beats, as his brain chewed through what Phoenix had just admitted to him. Never in his life, had he known a commanding officer, a starship commander, to admit that something they did had been wrong, and then apologized for it. He was at a loss for words for a few seconds.

When he finally regained his voice, he indicated the empty chair facing the front of his desk. "Would you like to sit, Ma'am? May I offer you a refreshment of some kind?"

Phoenix glanced at the offered chair, then back at Kyle. His reaction had caught her a little off guard. She hadn't expected him to jump to attention, although perhaps she should have. "At ease, Kyle. Please." She gave him a small smile. "And no, thank you. I'm fine." She took the offered seat, smoothing her uniform as she settled into it. "I didn't come here to make you uncomfortable, or to put you in the position of having to tell me everything's fine." Her expression grew more serious. "I was angry. I was frightened for our people, and I allowed both of those things to influence my judgement. You were trying to do your job, and instead of listening to you, I made it considerably harder."

She paused, looking directly at him. "You've served with me long enough to know that I will fight for every single person aboard this ship. But that doesn't give me the right to put the people responsible for protecting them in an impossible position." Phoenix glanced briefly at the readiness reports spread across his desk. "I ask you to make difficult decisions, Kyle. Sometimes I ask you to make decisions I don't particularly like. I need you to know that when you do, I'm going to listen, even when every instinct I have is telling me to do something else."

She leaned back slightly. "And if I ever put you in that position again, I expect you to tell me. Preferably before I make a complete idiot of myself." A faint, rueful smile appeared. "Although I appreciate that contradicting your commanding officer when she's furious isn't exactly an attractive prospect." Her expression softened. "So, I'm not asking you to tell me it's all right. I'm asking whether there's anything you need to say to me about what happened. Because I think I owe you the opportunity to say it."

Kyle listened to Phoenix speak. He found her words both full of wisdom beyond her years, and knowledge that that same wisdom can come with a price. He lowered himself back down into his chair, as he considered his next words.

"Permission to speak freely, Ma'am?"

Phoenix studied him for a moment. She had asked him if there was anything he needed to say; there wasn't much point in putting restrictions on the answer. "Completely freely, Commander."

He inhaled a deep breath, then let it out slowly, as if there was a heavy weight on his soul. "Ma'am," he could bring himself to calling her by her first name, even though she was younger than he was. He had far too much military discipline in his bones. "What you did was stupid. While I can appreciate the reasoning behind it." He paused for a beat, then continued. "You've read my file, you know what I did, back on the Nimitz, when the woman I loved was in mortal danger on the planet below me. You also know that I left my post, during a combat situation, stole a shuttle and pilot, and flew down to the planet to save her. The only reason why I still wearing this uniform, is because I saved the lives of several others that were also in mortal danger."

He paused a few beats, as his turned his head slightly while the memories of that day flashed behind his eyes. When he looked back into Phoenix eyes, the pain was there. "Back then, Elizabeth was everything to me. After my court martial, I asked jer to marry me. I thought we would be together forever." His jaw clenched from old scars on his heart.

"I lost her shortly thereafter, when she was killed in combat. Even though, she did come back," he shook his head slightly. "she was never the same. And then I lost her again, forever this time."

He glanced out the one way window that looked over the security department office, as the various Starfleet and Romulan security crew went about their day, doing the job needed to keep the ship and crew safe.

He then looked back into Phoenix's eyes. "You also chose to leave your post, during a crisis, and go after the one you love, albeit with the added benefit of saving others that needed it as well. The difference between us, Ma'am, is that I wasn't the ship's commanding officer." He paused as some anger grew in his features.

"You know, better than most, that when you take that center seat, you no longer have the luxury of thinking about your own happiness first anymore. The entire ship and crew is depending on you. We look to you for guidance and leadership. We follow the example that you set for us, because we respect you and are in awe of you. It isn't just anyone who makes it to the Captaincy. And you are younger than most, to have made it as far as you did, as fast as you did. However, I know, because I've read your file too, that you have fought, tooth and nail, to get to where you are now. No one ever gave any of this to you. You have earned it. And that us also why we are in awe of you.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk. "You are not a normal person, Ma'am. You are the captain of not only a starship, but the flagship of Obsidian Fleet. This ship has been through more than you will ever know. I know, because I was there. That center seat up on that bridge is a thing without equal. I know that too, because I sat there in combat as well. You," he pointing his right index finger at her. "must never do something like that again! To do so, and fail, would spit on those Ely has lost. To do so and win...well, that would simply tell everyone below you that its okay to break the rules when you want to, so long as things turn out okay!" He banged his fist on the desk and stood in anger, turning away from her for a few beats as he tried to calm down.

Finally, he looked back at her. "In my career, I have had the honor of protecting some of the finest captains in Starfleet. Until you...I never had to shoot one." He shook his head and husband face looked as if he he knew he had failed. "Don't ever put me in that position again. Please."

Phoenix didn't react when his fist struck the desk. She didn't interrupt him either. There were moments when instinct urged a commanding officer to defend herself, to explain, to remind someone of circumstances they already knew. Phoenix resisted every one of them. She had asked Kyle to speak freely. So she listened. It was the last part that struck hardest. Until you... I never had to shoot one. For several seconds after he finished, Phoenix said nothing. "You didn't fail me, Kyle." Her voice was quiet. "If it reached the point where you believed shooting me was the only way to stop me, then I failed you." She let that sit between them.

Phoenix knew there were explanations. The tumours. The restricted blood flow. The damage to her judgement and memory. Sthilg could probably spend an hour explaining precisely why Phoenix Lalor-Richardson had not been functioning as Phoenix Lalor-Richardson should.
None of that changed where Kyle had found himself. "You were standing there trying to decide how far you were prepared to go to stop your commanding officer from doing something catastrophically stupid." Her expression tightened. "And I put you there." Phoenix drew in a slow breath. "You're right about the centre chair. I know you're right. That's probably why hearing it from you hurts as much as it does."
She looked down at her hands for a moment. "I love Mattias. I love him more than I can adequately put into words. And when I believed he was in danger, everything else disappeared." Her eyes lifted back to Kyle. "That cannot happen. Not while I'm sitting in that chair." She paused.

"And I won't insult either of us by promising that I'll never be frightened for him again. Or my children. Or any of you. I will be. That's part of being human or Erisian in my case " Her voice became firmer. "But I can promise you that I understand what you're telling me." Phoenix rose slowly from the chair, but made no move toward the door. "And if there ever comes a day when you believe I am medically compromised, emotionally compromised, or otherwise incapable of exercising command..." She held his gaze. "You relieve me." There was no humour in the words. "That's not a suggestion, Kyle. I'm making it very clear now, while I'm capable of making that judgement. You protect this ship. Even from me."
Then, more softly, she added, "And I am very sorry that I made you contemplate shooting someone you were supposed to be protecting."
Phoenix's eyes remained on his. "But don't carry that as your failure. It wasn't." She hesitated.

"I can't promise you that I'll never make another bad decision. God knows my record would make that promise laughable." The faintest hint of Phoenix's usual humour surfaced, but it disappeared almost immediately. "But I can promise you this: I never want anyone aboard this ship believing that getting away with breaking the rules makes it acceptable. Least of all because they saw me do it." She drew herself up slightly. "So no, Commander. I won't put you in that position again." A beat passed before she added quietly, "And if somehow I do... you stop me."

First several beats there was nothing between them but silence and the echo of their words to each other. Then, the large security chief stepped around his desk and stopped in front of Phoenix. Even though he lowered over her, his size did not seem threatening.

Looking into her eyes, he extended his right hand to her. "Mattias is a lucky man to have someone like you in his life."

Phoenix looked down at the offered hand for half a second before taking it. There was something almost absurdly formal about a handshake after everything they had just said to one another, but perhaps that was exactly what they needed. At Kyle's words, her expression softened.
"I think he'd tell you I'm the lucky one." A faint smile appeared. "Although I'm reasonably certain he'd also give you a very long list of reasons why living with me requires hazard pay." She squeezed Kyle's hand lightly before beginning to release it. "Thank you, Kyle." The humour faded into something more sincere. "Not just for saying that. For what you did that day. Even when I made it very difficult for you to do it." Her eyes met his.
"You protected me when I wasn't capable of protecting myself from my own decisions. I won't forget that."

When she returned his handshake, he added, "And we all are lucky to have a commanding officer like you, Ma'am. You would fight for every one of us, and we know it." He paused a beat, then added, "It is an honor to serve with you....Phoenix."

That stopped her. Not the compliment. Her name. Phoenix knew Kyle well enough to understand what that tiny departure from Ma'am represented. After everything that had passed between them, somehow it meant more than any formal reassurance could have. For a moment she simply looked at him. Then she smiled. "Careful, Kyle. Keep calling me Phoenix and people might start thinking we're friends." The words were light, but her expression wasn't. There was genuine warmth there. "And for what it's worth, the honour goes both ways."

She hesitated before adding more quietly, "I've had people follow my orders because of the rank on my collar. I've had people follow because Starfleet told them to. But the people I value most are the ones willing to stand in front of me and tell me when I'm wrong." Her gaze remained on his. "Especially when I'm making it particularly difficult." Phoenix gave his hand one final squeeze before releasing it. "So thank you, Kyle. For protecting this ship. For protecting our people." A small pause. "And, apparently, for protecting me from myself." The familiar glint returned to her eyes. "Though I'd appreciate it if we could arrange for considerably less shooting of the Commodore in future. Sthilg already has enough reasons to complain about me." She stepped back, the tension that had followed her into his office finally beginning to ease. "I'm glad we had this conversation." A beat. "And I'm glad you're here, Kyle."

As the moment of friendly closeness passed, Kyle straightened slightly, his bearing returning to what he was more known for. "Where you lead, I will follow, Ma'am." There was a slight twinkle in the corner of his eyes as he said that, indicating that he would keep their secret to himself. It didnt need words, for one to see what kind of officer he was. His actions had shown that he would follow the orders put to him, but also think for himself, when the situation merited it.

OFF