Lots and lots of therapy

Posted on Sun Mar 1st, 2020 @ 6:38am by Lieutenant Carter Smith & Commander Sthilg & Ensign Lunara Hol

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
2108 words - 4.2 OF Standard Post Measure

Previously:

Once inside, Carter grabbed a drink from a passing waiter. He looked at Hol, "You want anything, lieutenant?"

Lunara raised a hand and shook her head. "Maybe not yet, it's still pretty early. And call me Lunara, we're off duty."

Carter downed his drink in one gulp, then grabbed another. "Okay, Lunara." He looked around. "You should know that I'm not much of a party person...I'm just here for the drinks."

Lunara raised an eyebrow as she watched him. She hadn't seen someone drink like that in awhile. "Well, I can't fault you there, but maybe take it a bit more slowly, hm?"

"I don't do things slow, Lunara." He grabbed another drink from a waiter.

"For God's sake, this is your third in less than a minute! You're going to hurt yourself!" She shook her head. "Didn't anyone ever teach you how to drink properly at the Academy? Come on, let's take a seat. It'll start hitting you soon." She moved over to an empty table and looked back to make sure he was following her. Come to think of it, he didn't look too great at the promotions ceremony either.

Carter followed her, or at least tried to follow her. When a waiter walked past him, Carter reached for another drink, but caused the waiter to lose control of his tray, and he dropped it, spilling the drinks. Carter started to apologize, but the waiter said, "It was my fault, sir."
Carter started walking to the table Lunara had found. But he once bumped into a wall, almost falling, then he bumped into a female crewman, and when he reached out to help her up, he didn't grab her arm, like he thought he was doing, but grabbed her right breast instead. Of course the lady screamed. Once he realized what he did, he stuttered an apology, but ran out of the room.

Lunara looked bewildered at the entire chain of events, only coming back to her senses after the chain of events. "I'm... sorry about my friend," was all she managed to stammer out before bolting after him. "Carter! Hold up!" The last thing anyone needed right now was a drunk guy who could barely stand running around the ship.

Carter entered his room, convinced that security was coming for him. Everything seems to have gone against him......he turned into a coward...then he turned into a drunk......he's turned into a failure.
He opened his dresser draw and pulled out a Klingon dagger.
He placed the blade against his throat.

Lunara's eyes widened as she stepped into his quarters and saw him. "|What the hell?| Carter, wait! What are you doing!?" She slowly stepped towards him, trying her best not to startle him into doing anything rash.

Carter raised a hand. "Don't come any nearer!!" The knife waiver against this throat. "What am I doing??? I'm finally ending this miserable existence! I'm a coward! A drunk! I SHOULDN'T BE HERE!!!"

Lunara froze in place, holding her arms out. "All right, all right, I'll stay here." She was doing her best to stay calm and measured, but the fact that there was a guy who suddenly started threatening to kill himself was making it a bit difficult. "Come on now, you don't mean that. Why would you say that?"

"When there were those....illusions.....and we heard the captain say that the Jem Hadar boarded the ship....I panicked...I was afraid. I ran off from my group. I said I was going to the nearest armory and that I would be back." He looked at her, and the edge of the dagger was that his throat. "That was a lie! I tried to get to the hanger bay...I wanted to steal a shuttle or a runabout...and leave. When I couldn't get to the hanger bay, I stopped at the armory and rejoined the group." He used his free hand to wipe some tears. "I started drinking, fearing that my secret would come out. Then there was the promotion ceremony. I didn't want to be there. I thought that I was going to be demoted...or worse....charged with desertion. Instead I'm promoted!! I don't belong in the service!!"

Lunara spoke gently, scrutinizing his face to see if she could pick up on anything beyond the obvious pain and distress. "Carter... have you ever seen real combat before?"

Carter shook his head. "I've been through all the training....done the simulations....but actual combat? No."

Lunara inched closer to him. "Your first real contact is always... different. Nothing can prepare you for the real thing, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone deals with those stresses differently."

Carter backed away. "I can't sleep. I close my eyes and I see Jem Hadar coming for me. They take me prisoner and use me for target practice." He started pacing...sometime mumbling to himself.

That wasn't good. Could just be the shakes for a little while after his first traumatic experience, could also be a rapid onset of PTSD. She kept a calm and gentle tone of voice as she talked to him. "Hey, that doesn't sound very good. When was the last time you had a dream like that?"

"I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!! I haven't slept in days! I just want to go home!" Carter replied.

"Days? Carter..." Lunara shook her head. No wonder he was like this. "Come on, if you let me help you, we can make those dreams go away. Would you like that?"

Carter moved the dagger closer to his neck....so close, he drew blood. "I know one way to make the dream stop....for good!"

"Carter, NO!" She thrust out her hand and leaned forward, stopping herself before she did anything else - didn't need to startle him into cutting deeper. "Please, just put the knife down! You're not the only one with these nightmares, you're not even the only one I've dealt with! I can help you, but only if you stay alive for that!" She considered calling for an emergency transport to sickbay, only to remember she left her commbadge in her quarters.

"I'm so tired...." He looked like he was ready to pass out from exhaustion, it was only his desire to end his suffering that kept him upright.

"I can help you sleep, but only if you work with me. Please, put the knife down and we can talk."

"I.....I....." He pasted out, falling onto the floor...and landing on the knife, that now was stuck in his chest.

"CARTER!" She sprinted over to him and quickly turned him onto his back. "|Shit!| Computer, we need an emergency transport to sickbay, now!" Lunara placed her hand on either side of the knife, doing her best to apply pressure without moving it. "Carter, can you hear me!? I need you to stay with me, okay?" She couldn't hide the shakiness in her voice.

When Carter and Lunara appeared in sickbay, the med team moved to Carter and picked him up and put him on a bed. One of the doctors looked at her. "What happened to him?"

"He... he fell on a knife. How's he looking?"

The doctor looked at the readouts on the monitor. He shook his head. "He punctured his left lung. Looks like the knife missed his heart by inches." The doctor looked at the nurses. "Prep him for emergency surgery!"

" Move." Bellowed the big gorn who ran over to see what was happening. " Get him into bay three." He siad clamly before glanching at Lunara. " What happened?" he asked

"We... we were in his quarters, and he fell on that knife, and..." she ran a hand through her hair, cursing in Trill.

" He fell? " The gorn inquired as he yelled at one of the nurses to get the needed gear and replicate Carters blood type. The smell of alachaol came into his nose casuhing him to turn to Lunara " How much has he be drinking?" he asked as he was wheeled into the surgical bay.

Carter suddenly started gasping for air. Then, his heart stopped.

"He only had three, I didn't think-" She cut off, eyes widening as she saw him flatline.

The gorn let out a burst of words that the universal translator didn't translate as his team sprang into action. " Lunara out." The lizard yelled as a nurse began the program to begin the defibrillation. " Ssscratch that computer activate program ssseven. " he yelled calmly as the bedside opened up with the necessary medical gear. It took him mear moments to connect the tubes and allowed the biobed to take over the pumping of the lieutenant's heart as fresh blood began to pump into him " Okay let'sss get the knife removed and his heart fixed." The gorn said calmly as he was handed some sterile gloves. This would be a long one. They need to seal of the blood flow to his heart so they could remove the knife and see to the lung. It may need to be replaced.

Lunara nodded, quickly leaving the surgery area for the lobby. She collapsed into a chair, slumping down defeatedly and burying her face in her hands. It was a freak accident, sure, but she couldn't help feeling it was her fault. She could have talked him down better, recognized the signs... now a patient was dying, and she was helpless to stop it.

It was two hours later when the bays doors opened as the gorn stepped through. He let out a long sigh as a nurse handed him a glass of water. That had been a difficult one. Noting that Lunara was still sitting in one of the chairs the gorn slowly walked over to her. " Hey, it going to be okay. We had to replace hisss lung with an artificial one, but we fixed the damage to hisss heart. He'sss going to be fine." he said placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Lunara blinked as she came out of her thoughts. "I... thank you. I don't know if I could forgive myself if he didn't..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "How long until he recovers?"

" Physically a few daysss before he can leave the sssickbay and a week to a month after that he'll be back to work. Though given his mental ssstate that may not be happening for a while. " The gorn said honestly.

Smith opened his eyes and looked around. "I'm not dead."

Lunara nodded. "Yes. I'm going to have to take him off duty indefinitely. I wish-" she was cut off by a nurse calling out to the Gorn doctor.

A nurse called the lizard back who within seconds was back in the room. " No, you're not dead lieutenant. You do have an artificial right lung and are under bed rest until i sssay ssso."

Carter turned his head away, and muttered. "You should have let me die."

Lunara came in right after Sthilg. "Hey, don't talk like that. I know you don't mean it."

"Doesn't matter, I'll be gone soon. You think the captain, or Starfleet, is going to allow someone as unbalanced as me remain on the ship?" He looked at her.

"We're both under medical confidentiality, you know. I won't tell the captain anything besides asking to take you off duty," Lunara said.

Carter looked at her. "She'll ask you why I'm taken off duty. And you don't think she hasn't figured it out by now? I'm a coward." He looked at her. "I don't want to die."

Lunara shook her head. "I didn't think you did. And I don't need to tell her anything."

Carter slowly sat up. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I put you through. I think it might be better if I put in for a transfer." He looked at her.

" It wasss no trouble Carter, but you needed to get better. A transssfer may not give you the peace you ssseek." The gorn doctor replied.

"Then I guess I'll wait for the captain to transfer me herself. Once she hears about this, she won't want me on board." Carter replied.

"I don't think that's true. Besides, we're the only ones that know what happened. If you don't want us to talk, we don't have to."

"Then I would request that we keep this private...for now. But I am willing to start counseling."

" I can do that." The gorn doctor replied. " providing he attends his counseling sssessssionsss on time.!

Lunara nodded. "That works for me. I want to start as soon as you're released, okay?"

Carter nodded. "I can agree to that."