"Mending Bridges, Part 1"

Posted on Fri Feb 28th, 2020 @ 4:42am by Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D. & Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson

Mission: Casperia Prime - A lesson in relaxation
Location: Captain's Ready Room, USS Elysium
Tags:
1147 words - 2.3 OF Standard Post Measure

IC

After leaving Gary, Tate sent a request to see the Captain. She knew if she were going to mediate a meeting between Gary and Phoenix, it would be critical to find out how the commanding officer truly felt about Gary and their recent captivity. It wasn't that she wanted to coach Phoenix in any way, but if she were going to effectively mediate such a potentially emotionally charged meeting, she had to get a sense of whether both of them were emotionally prepared for such a meeting. It would be just as unfair to ambush a traumatized Captain as it would be to ambush a traumatized Gary.

She debated whether to request a meeting outside the ready room and somewhere more casual. This conversation was sensitive and would likely be a bit personal for Phoenix, so would an office meeting only encourage her to keep her emotions inside and avoid vulnerability? Would a more casual setting take her off guard? Technically, she was coming to Phoenix about a member of the crew in an official capacity, however. She decided to let Phoenix decide where they met.

The captain's response was for the Counselor to come to the ready room.

When Tate arrived the door opened automatically for her. She was expected.

Tate smiled politely as the doors hissed open and she approached the Captain's desk. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Captain. I know you're busy, and I'm willing to get right to the point, but I should mention, what I'm about to say affects you personally as much as it affects the smooth running of the ship. It concerns your recent captivity," she added after a moment, giving her time to absorb those words.

"oh?" Phoenix asked curiously. "what about it?"

If Phoenix was at all bothered by the mention of her captivity, Sullivan didn't notice it. Of course, she knew looks could be deceiving, but she pressed on. "I am wondering, how things have been between you and Commander Taylor since you were rescued?"

Phoenix looked at Tate. "I am going to be honest counselor. You are the second counselor to ask me that question. Now as I have no issue with Commander Taylor, I must assume he is going to counselors and saying that I do. Not something I appreciate." Phoenix's eyes were going the icy silvery blue they did when her temper was getting riled. "I Have no issue with commander Taylor. I do not blame him for the actions of those who kidnapped us. I am not upset... well I wasn't upset with him until just now. If he has an issue with me, he needs to man the hell up and grow some balls and speak to me personally! This, going to counselors and obviously saying that I have issues with him, is just wrong! He is my executive officer and if he feels that I do not trust him, which is not true, then he needs to speak with me himself instead of sending you to do his dirty work!" her voice was raising as she struggled to keep it level.

The ability to maintain objectivity was critical for a psychologist as a clinician and as a scientist. As she listened to Lalor's response with its clear increasing intensity, it was only natural for Tate to make her own assessment of Phoenix's emotional state and progress toward her own recovery post captivity. Sullivan's voice was calm and measured. "It would be unethical to comment on what Commander Taylor has said or not said to me in the course of his recovery, as I'm sure you are aware. It would be equally inappropriate for me to use my position as a therapist to help other people avoid expressing their own thoughts and feelings merely because the person asking outranks me. To clarify, my question was not whether you have any issue with Commander Taylor or whether you blame him for the actions of your kidnappers. I'm interested in what your interactions, if any, have been like, since you've been rescued? I've considered how natural it is for people to avoid, intentionally or otherwise, reminders of traumatic events, including discussing it with people who were there. Avoidance of any topic between two command level officers can be problematic, especially if what remains is assumptions about what one another is thinking and feeling."

"Then that is for him to speak to me about." Came the reply. "I have not been avoiding him. I have been doing my job. My interactions with Commander Taylor have been the same as they have always been. Professional."

"Perhaps that's the problem," Sullivan replied. "After what you've been through together, things aren't the same as they've always been. How could they be? His past came back to haunt him and led to you and other members of the crew being tortured. He was tortured. The only other person on board who understands what it's like to be responsible for an entire crew no matter what you're going through personally hasn't acknowledged one of the biggest burdens both of you are carrying. It's isolating and makes it that much easier to lose trust and faith in one another."

"If there is a problem then it is his problem. Not mine." Came the reply. "I was there counselor I know what they went through. I know very well what I went through. If Commander Taylor has an issue then, as I said, it's his issue. Not mine."

The coldness in the answer could be a reflection of trauma, Tate knew, but it still surprised her. She had never thought of Lalor as someone who believed in every one for him or herself, least of all her right hand. "Fair enough. Let's say you're right and it's just Commander Taylor who is struggling, impacting one portion of the command leadership of this ship. If you could do something or say something to him which would help him heal and become a stronger right hand for you and for the rest of us, would you be willing to consider it?"

"Yes. But as I said earlier. He should be talking to me himself, Counselor."

"I don't disagree with you, Captain," Tate replied patiently,"but I wouldn't be betraying any confidences by pointing out this whole experience isn't easy to just bring up, especially if other people at the senior level aren't either." Sullivan paused, then offered, "You said earlier you don't blame the Commander for what happened. You offered that before I could even ask if you felt that way. That tells me despite what you said about all of this being Taylor's issue and his responsibility to share, you have a sense of what he might be thinking and feeling about what happened. Have you ever considered telling him you don't blame him and you aren't upset?"

***TBC***