S'hib's Dilemma, Part 3

Posted on Tue Aug 18th, 2020 @ 4:48pm by Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D. & Lieutenant Colonel Azhul Naxea & Lieutenant Commander S'hib

Mission: Season 3: Episode 4: Cause and Effect
Location: Dr. Tate Sullivan's Office, USS Elysium
1961 words - 3.9 OF Standard Post Measure

ON:

Entering the Counselor's office, Naxea wasn't in the best of moods at being called away from her duties. She spotted the counselor sitting with S'hib already present. "So, care to tell me what this meeting is really about?" she asked, annoyed as she crossed her arms. She had never been a fan of counselors and doubted she ever would.

"Oh dear..." S'hib mumbled inaudibly to himself as he glanced over to Lieutenant Sullivan for help, his eyes practically screaming at her.

Tate's tone was patient. "My apologies, Major. I thought my message was clear that I did not want this meeting to disturb your duty shift. Please, feel free to see my yeoman to reschedule." The ball was in the other woman's court now. If she chose to stay, she would have to take responsibility for that choice.

"I'm the commanding officer of the Marine Detachment--I'm literally always busy. But since I'm here, I might as well stay," she sat down next to S'hib.

"Fair enough," Tate replied. Now that it was clear no one was being forced to stay, Sullivan offered, " as I'm sure you know, S'hib has been working very hard to recover after his time in captivity, but there are still some things he's struggling to express. I suggested the three of us meet so that I might facilitate a conversation between the two of you. I don't think I am speaking out of turn to say that he cares for you a great deal, and he also recognizes the two of you come from very different cultures, which can make understanding each other difficult." She then looked at the man in question, truly wanting to facilitate, but not put words in anyone's mouth.

Naxea turned and looked at S'hib. "I would hope that you know that you can come to me with anything by now, S'hib."

At that moment he felt more cornered than he did in the forest with the Orions because this time he couldn't run away. "I do," He replied softly, shrinking into his seat. "But that doesn't make it easier Naxea, there is a lot you don't know about me... or my people and that's my fault, and the more I've put it off, the harder it's gotten to tell you." He confessed with a heavy sigh.

Naxea nodded. It was true that S'hib said little about his planet and not much more about himself or his beliefs. She hadn't done any research because she was hoping that S'hib would tell her when he was ready. "So what exactly is this that you need to involve a...counselor," she chose the more diplomatic term instead of her normal term of 'shrink'.

"Because I'm not doing very well Naxea..." S'hib confessed. "My head is all over the place."

"Then why involve me?" she asked, getting impatient. "I mean if I can help, I will but I need to know what the hell is going on first." Naxea felt for S'hib and wished she could help him but none of this made sense to her. What was he not telling her?

"Because it involves you," S'hib said regrettably, fearing the conversation would become upsetting for Naxea. "Both of us." He corrected, shaking his head somewhat as he stumbled over his words.

"Naxea, I've never been in a relationship like this... like, I've been with others... before, but never loved them, not as I do with you." S'hib continued, swallowing excess saliva as he talked despite feeling his mouth turning dry.

"But for a Sequus, at my age... I'm lonely, Naxea... I've been visiting you just so I can sleep." He said, his voice straining into a cry before he breathed in deep and shut his eyes, attempting to regain his composure before it teetered over the edge.

Naxea grasped S'hib's hand. "So, what is it? Do you want to move in with me so you can sleep?"

Her comment took him by surprise, It was something he hadn't even considered asking her, too afraid to lean on her for support. "No, that's not what this is about... although it would probably help." He said with a weak smile, his other hand gently resting atop of hers.

"Naxea before we started dating, I struggled socially... I didn't understand the boundaries that everyone else follows, I was free to make mistakes..." He sighed, rubbing a large hoof thumb over her skin as softly as he could.

"But with what happened to us both, I'm now painfully aware of how my people are, how I am... and how it can be perceived by others, especially now that I am desperate for company."

"Desperate for company? I don't understand. Is my company not enough?" Naxea questioned. She still wasn't sure all of what entirely S'hib wanted. Though the counselor was being awfully quiet. In her experiences, counselors were often quick to offer advice on every matter--something that irritated her.

“No... no thats not what I mean, Naxea... I...” He said, again stumbling over his words as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. “I already mentioned, before the wedding that my kind tend to date multiple people at once... but thats not what this is about,” He finished before sitting back in his seat, his heart racing within his chest.

“This is why I didn't want to talk about this...” He whined through his flaring nostrils, feeling his anxiety creeping along his skin.

Naxea's face began to flush red with anger and embarrassment. "Are you telling me that you need more than one woman to 'keep you company'?" Her voice was rising.

"No!" S'hib replied in a panic, his worst fears about this meeting seemed to pale in comparison to what was now unfolding. "It's got nothing to do with sex..." He snorted loudly, frustrated at his inability to convey his thoughts as his face fell into his hands.

"Then you need to try harder, real fast," she demanded. "What is it really about. Just spit it out and stop dancing around the subject." She hated raising her voice at S'hib but he was annoying her by not being able to tell her what he really wanted and was feeling.

“Im scared!” S’hib blurted out, lifting his head from his arms, eye red from held back tears. “I keep a phaser under my pillow because every time I'm alone I think I'm going to die...” He continued, gasping for air as his lungs struggled to keep up with his tongue. “I thought I was doing ok Naxea, I thought I could manage being without a herd... but then we got taken... and now, I cant even go on a patrol alone without looking over my shoulder every damn minute!” He yelled, his voice swelling into anger at himself as his head fell back onto his lap, thick hoofed fingers gripping at his mane as his stoic mask broke apart and the terrified man inside revealed itself.

Naxea moved to S'hib, placing her arms around him, finally understanding. "You should know that I'm here for you," she said softly. "But I'm not a telepath. You need to tell me how you're feeling so that I know. Be open and honest with me."

"I do know, but I also know I'm not the only one that's struggling..." S'hib cried, leaning his weight onto her and turning his long face somewhat towards her. "I didn't want you to have to deal with my problems," He paused, swallowing hard, the lump remaining stubbornly in his throat. "While dealing with yours..."

As no doubt the two of them had noticed, Tate had elected to remain quiet for as long as she felt the conversation was productive. She wasn't entirely sure how things were going to go, especially given the irritation in Naxea's voice when she arrived, but experience has taught her sometimes the most effective intervention was careful silence. She was proud of S'hib for his honesty even in the midst of intense emotion. Now she offered, "You're both doing great. S'hib, will you share what you are afraid of if Naxea knew the extent of your struggles?"

"That it would push you away, but I guess not telling you kinda did that anyway," S'hib said quietly, his hands cupping over one of hers and dragging it into his lap.

"Then start trusting me and talk to me. You're not a burden, S'hib," Naxea continued softly, pausing for a moment before continuing. "But am I enough for you?"

"I do trust you... and you are enough, I'm just worried that once you learn more about my kind... you won't like me." S'hib confessed, guilt ridden by his admission to her.

"What do you mean?" Naxea questioned as she looked at him. "I know you run around naked on you planet but that's about it."

“It would probably be easier if I just showed you... on the holodeck,” S’hib explained, leaning his head over towards hers. “Its what I've wanted to do for some time, but I've been so worried about it, I keep putting it off.”

"You're being vague again," Naxea warned before letting out a long, exhausted sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose in the process. She couldn't understand why it was so damn hard for S'hib to talk to her. "Fine, but it better explain everything."

"I'm not trying to be vague... I just don't know how to explain it, but you'll understand if you come to the holodeck with me." S'hib said apologetically, he didn't want any of this pain and confusion for either of them.

"So when are we going to the holodeck?" she asked, shifting in her spot.

"Uh..." S'hib said, his mouth hanging somewhat open. "We could go after this?" He replied, looking over to Tate briefly. "I mean, we'd have to go to my quarters first... there are some traditions we'd need to do first that are important to my people." He added nervously.

"Sure. Are you joining us, counselor? Naxea asked, turning to the other woman.

Despite the tension that had crept up, Tate was pleased with how things developed. She was tempted to suggest the two of them go alone, just so she could allow both of them to work things out together, but knowing things were still a bit tenuous, she decided to go along, assuming they were both comfortable. "I would like to, assuming that's OK with the two of you?"

"It's up to you." S'hib replied, looking back to Naxea with a smile, finally starting to relax as they stepped over the threshold.

Naxea noticed the change in S'hib's body language after hearing that the counselor would accompany them. 'Is S'hib more comfortable with her than me?' she asked herself. 'And if he is, why?' "It's fine," Naxea said, following S'hib out of the room.

"Meet us at holodeck one counsellor, we won't take long," S'hib called back into the office before turning and continuing to hurry along.

"Naxea..." S'hib said once out of the room, mindful that they were out of hearing distance and checking for the door to be closed behind them. "I was kind of hoping we could do this privately..." He explained, rubbing a hand up the back of his mane.

"Why? I thought you would like the counselor to come as you seem more relaxed around her than me," Naxea replied, looking up at S'hib.

"Maybe that's because your opinion of me and my people is the only opinion I care about... I'm about to show you my home Naxea, introduce you to my culture and people... I'm nervous about it..." He neighed softly, gently squeezing her hand.

"You don't have a reason to be nervous, S'hib," Naxea assured him.

tag fin