Counseling Josephine

Posted on Thu May 20th, 2021 @ 7:49am by Vice-Consul Josephine Carlyle-Cragen & Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D.

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Counselling Office
Timeline: Prior to Md1
1957 words - 3.9 OF Standard Post Measure

Josephine had not really spoken with a counselor since her return to the 2390's. She had done a brief conversation with one on Earth but had managed to get out of it by pleading exhaustion and then basically ignoring counselor messages until her reassignment. But now, on the Elysium, she had run out of time and excuses, so thus she stood outside a counselor's office waiting to be called in.

Josephine didn't have to wait long before the doors to Tate's office slid open to reveal Sullivan and her polite and inviting smile. "Hello. You must be Lieutenant Carlyle. I am Tate Sullivan," the Counselor offered simply along with her hand. "Please, feel free to come in and make yourself comfortable."

Josie shook her hand. "Please call me Josie, it is still strange to use my rank after all this time." Josie said softly taking a seat.

"Please feel free to call me Tate as well," Sullivan offered with a nod. "May I get you something from the replicator, Josie?" More than a polite offer, the counselor used the question to also help the man or a woman sitting across from her settle in. Tate had reviewed Josie's record a new she had avoided counseling since her return, which wasn't terribly surprising considering all she was trying to come to terms with, but still, it was an indication to Tate that she needed to tread slowly.

"no Thanks. I am fine" The officer replied as she slid her legs back beneath the chair and her hands folded in her lap. Her back was ramrod straight and she held herself as if being watched.

As Tate took a moment to consider her next words and simply observe Josephine, the counselor couldn't blame heer for being hyper vigilant whether because of trauma or fear of being judged. She imagined it was probably a combination of those things, but she wouldn't know for sure unless she reached out and started somewhere. " thank you for coming today. I realize you may have felt you didn't have a choice, but I want you to know you don't have to say or do anything you don't want to do. I am just impressed you survived all that you've been through."

Josephine gave half a shrug. "Surviving in the 1600's is pretty easy when you can replicate coin."

"I suppose I should've clarified I wasn't simply talking about physical survival, but emotional survival," Tate replied. "I expect not everything can be so easily replaced with a little coin."

"I guess" Came the calm reply. "But at the time, it was the best thing we could do to stay alive"

"Of course," Tate replied. "I wasn't passing judgement on what you did to survive. In fact, I think it's a testament to your strength that you were able to survive as well as you did. I'm curious now that you've had a bit of time to think back on the experience if you've ever taken the time to give yourself credit for how you handled yourself under pressure?"

"credit?" Came the reply "I got demoted and a blackmark on my record. I can work myself to the bone and never get past this rank. There is no credit to be given my way."

"No? There must be something keeping you motivated despite all of that or else, you wouldn't be here, right?"

Josie shrugged. "From that period no. But since my return I have entered a relationship."

"I was referring to your return," Tate offered with a nod. "Despite the demotion and the limitations on your career, you are here and pressing forward. I'm glad you have the support of others. This relationship...will you tell me a little more about it?"

"it is fairly new." Josie said softly. "I am still feeling my way, as is she. But we both feel it has potential to be long term."

"I'm glad you have support and something to look forward to," Tate replied. "From what I understand before you returned to our time, you were pretty isolated. I wouldn't blame you if connecting with someone on a more intimate level didn't come easy. How did you two meet?" Josephine was talking more, but Sullivan was still working to put her at ease. She figured helping her talk about someone she cared about might help her relax somewhat.

"We met on the Elysium. Well in 1660." Josie replied, "It was not a sudden thing."

"I see," Tate replied. "What made you think I would assume it was a certain thing?" She wondered if Josie had already faced some sort of harsh judgment from someone else, which would partly explain why she was so reluctant.

"Because that is what has been said before."

"Said by whom?" Tate asked, genuinely curious who would've judged Josephine so quickly.

"Doesn't matter Counselor. I have learned to ignore them."Josie said softly.

"There must be a lot of them if the first thing you think is I'm going to say the same thing," Sullivan offered in a tone that she hoped made clear she was simply offering an observation, not a judgment. "It occurs to me being here might feel like just an opportunity for someone to pass judgment on you and find fault. How do you feel about being here?"

"I don't want to be here." Josie replied honestly. "I am here cause it is ordered, nothing more,"

"I appreciate your honesty," Tate replied. "I hear you say you don't want to be here, but might there be a reason you need to be?"

She shrugged "I like to deal with things on my own." she admitted.

"You didn't answer my question," Tate replied knowingly. "I get that you would rather deal with things on your own, but might there be things you could use some help with? I'm curious what you would do or say if our roles were reversed? Or think?"

"I am no counselor." Josephine replied. "I have no idea."

"Fair enough," Tate answered, " but presumably you have insight into what counselors do and you have insight into yourself. I heard you say you like to deal with things on your own but I didn't hear you deny you have things to deal with. What things were you referring to?"

"I was demoted. You know how that feels?"

"I know what it would feel like for me, but that doesn't mean I know what it feels like for you," Tate replied. "Will you tell me?"

"i worked hard to get my full Lt pips. Then they sent me on a mission with a egomaniac and i ended up trapped in the past. I followed orders and tried to stay out of the gaze of history. Yeah I used our tech to make money to survive, but I still got done in, and demoted. I would like to see those admirals survive in the 1660's."

"Done in?" Tate asked, getting the feeling Josephine was talking about more than just getting demoted. Sullivan understood the importance of maintaining Starfleet regulations, especially in times of crisis, but she also agreed with Josephine that it was unfair to judge her for doing what she could to survive. Without knowing if or when help was coming, Tate imagined Starfleet ideals began to seem very far away in her darkest moments.

"Yeah, hung out to dry. Never mind they sent us to the VOID in the first place. They sent us there to check things out. Never mind that they never sent a rescue and it was this ship who rescued us." Josie shrugged. "I was lucky to get this assignment. No CO wanted me."

Sullivan was encouraged Josie was starting to open up. As Tate listened, she found herself filled with compassion. "It's their loss," Tate offered firmly. "We want you. I won't pretend you didn't get a raw deal, Josie. You absolutely did. I wish the brass could have seen what an impossible situation you were in and recognized how extraordinary it was you survived as long as you did. They may not see it, but we do, and from where I'm sitting, you deserve time to grieve all you've been through. You don't deserve to hold onto your anger because that just punishes you. Might you be willing to work with me so you can stop feeling like the person no one wanted?"

Josie considered it and then nodded. "Ok."

Tate wasn't so naïve to think all of Josie's resistance could be overcome so quickly, but this was a good start. "Good. Before we end for now and I leave you with some homework, how about we end on a hopeful note? When you've turned the corner on this whole healing process, what do you want your life to look like? Will you describe your best case scenario to me?"

"I'd like my career back on track. And to maybe one day, have a family,."

Sullivan nodded. "Those seem like very attainable goals. With regard to getting your career back on track, what specifically would that look like? In other words, how would you know your career was back on track?"

"Well I would like to move back to Proper Science but that won't happen for a while."

Given the circumstances of Josie joining the Elysium crew, Tate understood there needed to be a period of adjustment for all involved. Still, it was important this period of adjustment not feel like punishment to Josie. "I'm wondering if you have a good idea of what you can do to return to proper science? I'm hoping you've been given some feedback, so you don't feel quite as much at the mercy of higher-ups."

"I have. The words 'When you are fifty' came out of several admiral's mouths." She shrugged.

Tate could imagine the level of anger that would cause the admirals to make such a statement, but she doubted very much that age had anything to do with it. "Age doesn't bring wisdom or confidence. I've met some pretty old admirals that didn't have the judgment God gave a fruit fly. I'm wondering, have you considered reaching out to the science chief to see if you might assist the department in your free time? Cross training between departments is encouraged here and A willingness to keep your skills sharp despite your recent challenges could be seen as something in your favor."

"Yes, Commander an Vantar has been very helpful." Josie said with a small smile. "But she has her hands tied as well"

"I don't doubt that. We all have our hands full, especially at the moment, but none of us mind having an extra pair of hands to carry the workload," Tate offered sincerely. "I know it's going to take time to heal from what you've been through, and I would like to continue seeing you if you're open to that? In the meantime, however, I'd like you to consider pushing forward with doing some science of your own. I think it would help you get out of your head and remind you you've been changed by these experiences, but at your core, you are not completely lost."

Josie considered it for a short while. "Ok to both." She said.

Josie was a woman of few words, but overall, Tate thought the session had gone well. " I think this is a great start. Shall we agreed to meet again next week?"

Josie nodded "Of course."

"Great," Tate replied with a smile. "If you head back out to the reception desk, the department yeoman will help you set up something that doesn't conflict with your duty schedule."

Josie stood, gave a brief smile. "Thank you Counselor." And so saying she left the office.