What I Could Never Give You
Posted on Wed May 5th, 2021 @ 10:17pm by Lieutenant Baeryn Whavi-Tonelly & Captain David Tonelly [Reece]
Edited on on Wed May 5th, 2021 @ 10:52pm
Mission:
Season 5: Episode 2: Operation Save Humanity
Timeline: MD-1 2100
2056 words - 4.1 OF Standard Post Measure
After meeting Corporal Tonelly for dinner Baeryn Whavi was reluctant to return to her own quarters. Not that she would ever admit it but Baeryn was avoiding being alone with her own thoughts. She knew David wouldn’t protest if she wanted to stay the night with him, but she also knew he could pick up on her uneasiness and it was only a matter of time before he started questioning her shift in energies.
Tucked into his arm as they lay in the bunk Baeryn lowered the PADD she was currently using to read a novel her friend Aurelia sent her. Like the brat she was, she started to pinch David's side lightly.
Feeling content with his place in the universe, David was gently playing with Baeryn's hair with his right hand. He jumped when she started to pinch his side. "Hey!" He yelped playfully.
“Hey what? Getting soft marine?” She teased but stopped her pinching and instead slide her hand up his shirt and started lightly tracing the hard lines of his abdomen.
"Soft? Me? Hardly!" He chuckled, playfully flexing underneath Baeryn as he spoke. Then, after he relaxed, he sighed contently as she gently ran her fingers over his skin.
Sighing Baeryn halted her movement and readied herself for the conversation she was dreading. Maybe she should leave it be, keep it buried she thought. It's not like the topic had come up between them, and did she really want to ruin what they had? Even if she felt he would feel differently after she opened up.
"David. Can we play a game?"
Giving Baeryn a conspiratorial look, he asked, "What did you have in mind?
"A question for a question, answer for an answer."
David considered the proposition briefly, then nodded. "Okay, Baeryn. Since this was your idea, you ask the first question. Ask anything you want. I won't hold anything from you."
"Do you have any children?" The question blurted out making her feel silly. She kept her eyes directed anywhere but at David's face.
David gave Baeryn an honest smile and shake of his head. "No. I was never close enough to any of my past partners."
Swallowing she nodded, "Okay, your turn. Same rules apply, no holding back."
Nodding, David thought for a few seconds, then spoke. "You've talked about your father, but not your mother. Why?
Baeryn couldn't hide the cringe or the spike in her anger this question ignited. Immediately she regretted this game, but, she couldn't expect honesty from David if she wasn't willing to give it as well. “ Tora. My mother. “ she sighed trying to process how to explain that wicked woman. “I don’t talk about her because there isn’t much to say. When I failed to develop any empathic or telepathic abilities she stopped calling, or visiting. She spent the majority of my childhood off world, my father could never keep track of where she was and after awhile stopped caring to try when it was clear how easy it was for her to just forget about us.” Baeryn started tracing the lines of David's abdomen again, cuddling closer to him as she continued. “Being a betazoid, my mother prized honesty over all else, so when she became distant, I asked her why. She told me I would regret asking her why she was never around but I didn’t listen and demanded an answer anyway. I was just as stubborn at twelve as I am now.... but anyway, she said the reason she was never around was that I was of no use to her, that my blood was to diluted by my human father and that I was of no use to her. That I was only betazoid by looks and nothing more.”
David's heart broke when Baeryn spoke of how her mother had treated her only child. It was such a brutal treatment for a mother to give her child. Then, the sorrow-filled pain for the woman he loved turned to white hot hatred.
Baeryn closer to him, he sought to completely surround her in loving protection. Finally, after a few moments of silence, he had calmed himself enough to respond. "Baeryn, I...I am so very sorry that you've had to endure that pain for so long. All I can say is, fuck her and she is the one who lost out. You are a strong, intelligent, brave, beautiful woman. She should fall to her knees and beg for you forgiveness for doing that to you." He hugged her close again, kissing the top of her head.
Brushing away the emotions that came along with any thought of her mother she thought about her next question. “Do you want children?” Unconsciously Baeryn held her breath and waited for Davids answer.
Still holding Baeryn close, his body relaxed some, changing from anger to hopefulness. "Yes, I do. I've always wanted children, at least two, three if possible. I was an only child and I don't want my future children to feel that loneness." He gently squeezed Baeryn. "And now that I've found you, I know that I only want them with you, Baeryn."
Baeryn closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, she wasn't ready to talk about this, but how long would she run from it? Did she truly believe that David would just wash his hands of her when she told him? Did she really find their bond that dismissible? Not for her anyway, but dropping the wall over her heart wasn't something she ever thought she would even consider, until David.
Sitting up she finally made eye contact starring into those ocean eyes, her voice was sad and low, "But what if I can't give you that?"
David could see the pain that raged behind those beautiful twin pools of obsidian that held ownership of both his heart and soul for all eternity. Reaching up, he gently moved a few stray curls from her face. "What makes you say that?" There was no judgement in his voice or face. Only love and understanding.
Grabbing his hand she brought it to her lips and kissed the rough skin of his fingers. "I need you to answer me. Please. What if I can't give you what you want."
Sighing softly, David moved his hand to gently caress the side of her face. With a completely open heart, he replied honestly. "Then we'll adopt." He gave her a soft smile.
“But what of your people? What about preserving your race?” Baeryn had a hard time wrapping her head around Davids answer. He was too good to be true, she didn’t have the will to take him for his word on this, not knowing what she did of his home world and people.
Giving Baeryn a soft smile, David replied simply. "You're my people now. Now and always."
David was so steadfast on the subject that Baeryn couldn’t believe she had stressed about the subject at all. There was a corner of her heart, that still felt that David was getting to short end of the stick. That he deserves more, more then what she could give him.
Laying back down she took his left hand and laced and unlaced there fingers together. Lost in her own head again. Temporarily forgetting all about the game.
Smiling at how Baeryn absentmindedly plays their fingers together, David couldn't help but feel there was a reason that she felt she couldn't give him children. "Baeryn," his deep voice vibrating in his chest under her face. "Why do you think that you wouldn't be able to give me, give us, children?"
Baeryn went ridged for half a second, there was no ignoring the question this time and she cursed herself for bringing this up. "Because it didn't work out last time. Because maybe I'm not meant to, or- or it would have survived." Shutting her eyes, Baeryn battled the wave of emotions threatening to drown her.
Looking down at Baeryn, David asked, "Last time? May I ask what happened?" His voice and his eyes only portrayed compassion for the woman he loved.
"Not tonight. Please." Baeryn held David's hand in both of hers, tighter then she was aware of. "Ask me anything else."
Sighing, David gave Baeryn a sad smile. He couldn't image what had happened to her. All he knew was that he wanted to protect her from it. "No, it's your turn, Baeryn. Your rules." A humorous glint filled his eyes.
Baeryn wore a small smile as she drew small designs on the back of David's hand. "Why did you have the scars replaced? If your body was able to regenerate why have them added?"
Looking down at the scars, he replied. "I guess I'm still tied to the past. It feels important to remember those I've lost. Do...do you think I should get rid of them?"
"No of course not!" She pulled his arm towards her and traced the burn scar.
David looked loving at Baeryn. She was everything he had ever wanted in a partner, in a bondmate. While she continued to seem uncertain that they should be together, he held no such ideas. "Do you know how much I love you?"
“Mmmhhh if we’re still being honest, no.” With a smile on her face Baeryn waited to his reaction to her answer.
David feigned shock and dismay. "Then I have failed horribly! Please, Miss Whavi, what must I do to regain your favor?!"
"You could start by kissing me." She said "I mean of course if you would rather not." Baeryn shrugged wearing a playful expression as she teased him.
Without a word, David sat up, bracing his weight on his left hand, he moved his right hand from Baeryn's grasp to gently hold the left side of her head, his finger's curling behind her head. He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply.
Baeryn returned the kiss, forgetting momentarily there was a universe that existed outside of David's quarters. It was the easiest thing in the world to just be present with him, wrapped up in the calm he gave her.
Before the tangled couple got lost in the throes of love Baeryn pulled back, "I have to go." She kissed him again, then continued her goodbye between kisses. "I need to get back to my quarters and actually sleep." Like a fool her hand slipped under his shirt and she dragged her nails down his abdomen.
Feeling her nails drag across his skin, David reacted immediately, reaching out, grabbing Baeryn and pulling her back to him. He kissed her deeply again, then touched his forehead to hers and whispered, "Stay, you can sleep here. I'll behave." He gave her a slightly mischievous grin. "I promise."
"My duty shift starts at 0600." She muttered before locking her lips on his, her words and actions were going in two different directions. "You don't know the meaning of behave."
Smiling, he said, "Hey, I can be an obedient Marine." He winked at her playfully. Besides, I'm getting up for PT at 0400, so, you'd have my bed, quarters and shower all to yourself."
"If I stayed that's when I would need to get up." Baeryn found the will to pull away from David and stand beside the bed. She then ripped the pillow out from under David and held it up as if to attack him, "Stay with me friday? but leave that obedient marine stuff here."
David yelped slightly at the quick move. Then raising his hands in mock surrender, he said, "I yield! I yield! I can't defeat that powerful weapon you have there!" Dropping his hands, he gave Baeryn a happy smile and sighed. "Okay. Friday, your place. Maybe, if you're good, I'll make breakfast on Saturday."
Using the pillow to separate herself from David, she leaned down to him, kissed him fiercely then whispered "I'd much rather misbehave and eat you for breakfast instead." Moaning her resentment for having to leave, she threw the pillow at David, grabbed the PaDD she was reading and headed for the door.
David laughed playfully when the pillow hit hit. As Baeryn headed towards his door. "Sweet dreams, Baeryn. I love you."
Baeryn Whavi
Chief of Operations
U.S.S Elysium
&
Corporal David Tonelly
Scout Sniper
Spartans