"The Second Session (Tate/Baeryn), Part 1""

Posted on Thu Sep 15th, 2022 @ 6:38am by Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D. & Lieutenant Baeryn Whavi-Tonelly

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Dr. Tate Sullivan's Office, USS Elysium
Timeline: Backpost
1288 words - 2.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Dread didn't even begin to cover the feeling overwhelming Lieutenant Whavi as she packed up her things in Operations and headed to Dr Sullivan's office. It wasn't the doctors fault, she knew the woman was only trying to help her. The first session had given her much to think over, and not that she was ready to admit it, but Sullivan had helped her recognize that not everything fell solely on her shoulders.

After a brief walk across the ship Baeryn stood outside of Dr. Sullivan's office. She tapped the chime and waited. The instincts that wanted her to flee were stronger now.

As she always did in response to her office door chime, Tate called out simply, "Come," and watched the doors open to admit her visitor. Turning, Sullivan was surprised. "Hello again." The counselor had decided to give the lieutenant some space before reaching out again and was hopeful to see that she had come on her own.

"Hello." Baeryn responded sheepishly. "Is this a bad time?"

"Not at all," the counselor replied, noting the other woman's sheepish demeanor. She would have to tread even later than before. "You actually saved me from some boring paperwork," she added with a small smile. "Please, feel free to sit. May I get you something from the replicator?"

The hybrid smiled as she crossed the threshold and headed towards the couch. "Hot chocolate with cinnamon please? It's been the only replacement for my coffee i've been able to find." Once seated she added, "I'm not the biggest fan of paperwork either...believe me. If I could hand off to my assistant all together I probably would but I like her too much for that." She lightly chuckled.

Tate chuckled in turn. "Maybe i'm not as well liked as I think." Sullivan retrieved the order of hot chocolate easily enough and was intrigued by its fragrance. "This smells delicious. What made you think to try cinnamon in your hot chocolate?"

"It's actually how I take my coffee, my...father used to drink it that way." The thought brought a sad smile to her face.

Tate smiled wanly in return. "I don't have to be a therapist or an empath to see how much he means to you."

Keep her dark eyes fixed on the hot chocolate Baeryn responded, “He was all I had. Until I didn't anymore.”

Tate wasn't sure her use of the present tense was intentional or just a slip of the tongue. Either way, she was curious what had brought the other woman to her door, but she didn't want to rush. "Has something happened to bring his loss in such sharp focus for you today?"

"Opening myself to my feelings has been, well the only way I can describe it is like trying to stay afloat during a storm. I'm constantly at risk of drowning. It was a lot easier to keep everything buried...." Baeryn took a deep breath, "I'm trying to work through my feelings, to better handle my abilities, seeing as the two go hand in hand. I can't have one without the other. " Baeryn wrinkled her brow as she looked up at the doctor, "Does that make any sense to you?"

Tate nodded."I don't know exactly what it's like to have your abilities, of course, but as a counselor, I often have to give people room to express their emotions while also sorting through my own reactions in the process. I can see how suppressing your emotions would be necessary at times, but at least in my experience, no feelings can stay buried for long. Something always leaks through eventually."

"When I reflect or open myself up to my own feelings, others flood in. I can't... shut them out or turn it off. It's difficult to explain, but with the lack of training I've had to master my abilities its made them near unmanageable at times. Like a magnet pulling the emotions of others around me with no stop. Some emotions are so strong I have difficulty deciphering them from my own." Baeryn paused, "I've been suppressing my abilities since I lost my father. I never dealt with the pain of losing him, I just keep going...and now that i'm ready to... feel the pain in hopes it will lessen, i'm just hit by wave after wave of emotions."

"That does sound overwhelming," Tate empathized. "I realize this isn't exactly the same, but when I work with others overwhelmed by panic, for example, the goal is to surrender to the experience, to ride the waves instead of trying to resist them or analyze them too closely. When people struggling with panic stop fearing the sensations that lead to anxious and negative thoughts, they become desensitized to those sensations. Might we try an approach like that?"

A bit hesitantly Baeryn nodded, "Sure."

"Great," Tate replied with a reassuring smile. "Let's just try it for now. If it doesn't work, feel free to tell me and we will try something else, but for now, just make yourself as comfortable as you can and start by taking some slow deep breaths. With each breath, I want you to relax a bit more."

"Okay," Baeryn folded one of her legs beneath her and unzipped her collar. The hybrid took a deep breath and felt the muscles in her shoulders relax.

"Great," Sullivan encouraged. "Keep taking nice, slow, deep breaths. When you are ready, I want you to describe just what you're feeling and rate the intensity of any distress you feel on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the highest rating you could give."

Closing her eyes Baeryn focused on the sound of the air filling her lungs, then rushing out as she exhaled. The doctors voice was surprisingly soft and soothing that she almost forgot she had asked a question. “I guess 3?”

"Great," Tate offered softly. "Keep breathing slowly and deeply and this time I want you to focus on lowering your distress just by one point. In other words, turn your attention to doing what you need to do to lower your distress from a three to two. This may mean relaxing a certain part of your body, picturing a blank or relaxing mental image, or breathing a bit deeper than before. Do what you can to lower your physical and mental distress by just one point, and let me know when you are there."

Baeryn mentally visualized the number three, her brain digging for a way to lower the number. Her attention was solely on her breathing and the number in her mind. Seconds passed, her breaths deep and even. The three in her minds eye blinked away and slowly a two appeared, translucent at first, pale in color like it was having difficulty becoming solid. Baeryn could see past the two towards a towering wall of wooden logs. Fear spiked and she reigned her attention back to just the number. Anxiety started to prickle its way up her spine, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand. Suddenly she could feel the frustrated emotions of a being walking down the corridor outside of the doctors office. She tried to ignore it, ignore how her mind reached for and allowed the others strong emotions to become hers. She clenched her teeth, fisting both of her hands in an attempt to pull her attention back to the number.

"Relax your hands," Tate offered softly, taking note of the outward sign of tension. "Keep your breathing even. Imagine you have a cloth that has the power to blot another person's emotions away. Imagine with each swipe of the cloth, you're erasing their emotions so that only your breathing remains."

***TBC***

 

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