Families and Nightmares

Posted on Thu Feb 17th, 2022 @ 11:31pm by Lieutenant Commander Rin & Lieutenant Commander Alicia Kelea-Salik

Mission: Season 5: Interlude: Darkness Abounds
Location: Counselor's Office
1183 words - 2.4 OF Standard Post Measure

"LT Rin, reporting for a 1500 hour appointment," Rin stated to the assistant outside the commander's office. She was still running through her head what all she might share. Probably best she had an appointment already made, or she might have rethought going at all.

Too many things going through her head. But that's what counselors were for, right?

Right?

Alicia had been expecting Rin, knowing that she’d previously seen another member of the Counselling team who’d since left the ship. Walking out of her office she offered a smile. “Rin...please come on in, and make yourself at home.”

"Yes, sir." Rin came into the office and took the chair closest to her desk.

“You don’t need to call me Sir.” Alicia smiled warmly. “In here I don’t stand on ceremony, please feel free to call me Alicia.”

"Alright, Alicia," Rin responded. "I admit, I find it very strange to be on a first name basis with superior officers I barely know. This ship is remarkably casual in that regard."

“Maybe so, but we’re all one big family aboard this ship.” Alicia smiled as she settled into her seat. “I use first names because it helps to be in a more relaxed atmosphere here.”

"People keep saying that: we're all one big family here. It's a bit unnerving, honestly. Family is private and intimate. I barely know people on Elysium."

Alicia nodded. “I can understand that, perhaps in time when you’ve had a chance to get to know everyone that’ll change. Back to right now, how are you doing?”

"Mostly alright. Settling in. But the other night I dreamt of my life before the Borg, and that just never happens. I'm not sure what to do about it. We tried everything years ago to bring up those memories, to no avail. So I'm not sure if it's better to ignore the event as random, or somehow pursue it. Especially since I'm comfortable with who I currently am."

Alicia paused. “Well it’s a matter of perspective, if you want to remember that life then letting those dreams, and memories come through is going to help. If you don’t want those memories, then it’s a case of learning to adapt to them resurfacing. Which is most likely what’s going on.”

Rin considered. "It's not that I don't want them. They're a part of me. I guess maybe I've just become exhausted with trying and failing to access them all these years."

Alicia nodded. “Do you want to access them? If you do then letting those dreams come through will help. You can keep a written or verbal journey of what you remember so we can piece it all together for you.”

Rin has an almost haunted look. "I take medication to control dreaming, because they are almost always nightmares. Everything I remember is visions of the Collective. Mostly its about what we did. Sometimes it's about wanting to return to it, even though I absolutely don't."

Alicia nodded again. “The main problem with that is that you’re allowing those memories to surface. In order to move on you need to face your fears, which means facing your nightmares. Perhaps we could do so under controlled circumstances, in Sickbay under medical supervision?”

"What sort of supervision could they provide?" Rin asked.

“Well you did say you were taking medication for your dreams, to allow them through we’d have to stop that medication. It’s just for safety’s sake really.” Alicia smiled.

Rin frowned. "Hmmm, I'm not sure I'm describing things well. I've had the nightmares of being in the Collective for years. Facing those dreams has not ever helped. That's what the medicine was for. Occasionally one sneaks through regardless."

Rin continued. "But the other night I dreamt not of being a drone, but of being Nicola...I think. It's the first time that's happened. If you still think it best I do this, I will, But I want to make sure you understand what you're asking of me. I have no idea if she'll ever show up again, or if it will just be the usual nightmares."

“Nicola...that’s good” Alicia smiled. “In that case we’ll let things continue as they are for now. See how it goes. Are you comfortable with that?”

Rin nods. "I'm sorry if I seem resistant. I'm just...tired of all of this. And I don't want to waste people's time with these cycles. What else would you like us to talk about?"

Alicia smiled. “It’s okay to be resistant Rin, you’ve gone through a lot. It takes time to face your demons. As for what to talk about, what would you like to talk about?”

Rin looked thoughtful, cocking her head slightly to the side, brow narrowing slightly. "There is one new element in play. There's another xB on board now. A friend. Maybe he could help in some way through our neural interfaces. I'll have to think about it. And ask, obviously. Poking around in our heads can get ugly pretty fast."

Rin smiles a bit. "I'm happy he's here. More than I expected. He's...the only person I don't struggle to understand."

Alicia smiled. “I can imagine it must be nice having someone who understands you, just be careful about integrating neural interfaces, you know as well as I do that could be dangerous.”

"Of course. But surely it has some commonalities with the experience of Betazoids, yes? Being able the feel the presence of people around you, having some degree of knowledge of their current mood."

Alicia nodded. “I guess in some ways it does, but I can feel emotions without having to touch people’s minds.”

"Where do emotions come from if not the mind?" Rin asked quizzically.

“Right here” Alicia placed her hand over her heart. “Emotions come from the heart, at least that’s what my mother always used to say to me when I was young.”

Rin just managed not to roll her eyes. "I'm confident that's not medically accurate."

“No probably not but that doesn’t matter does it?” Alicia gave Rin a curious look. “In reality its all linked to the psyche and our personalities.”

"And our personalities are the net result of chemical interactions within the neural pathways of our brains. Memory, sensory input, communication, emotion, all of it is the firing on neurons. Damage the brain and you change the personality. Damage the heart and you get winded going up stairs."

Alicia looked at Rin curiously. “Do you always analyse everything so seriously?”

"I am literally an intelligence analyst, so yes. Why?" Rin responded.

“I was just curious, some people over analyse as a way of coping with things but in your case I’m happy it’s nothing to worry about.” Alicia offered a smile.

"Good. Is there anything else?" Rin asked.

“Not that I need to ask Rin. If you’re happy then you’re free to carry on” Alicia smiled warmly.

Rin nodded in acknowledgement and left.