"Family Therapy, Part 3"

Posted on Fri Jul 1st, 2022 @ 12:16pm by Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D. & Captain George Charles [Reece] & Staff Sergeant Leilani Charles {Kelea-Salik}

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Tate's office, USS Elysium
1129 words - 2.3 OF Standard Post Measure

With Hendor happily coloring in a nearby playroom, Tate was now with Leilani and George. Although Sullivan could not share specifically what the young boy had said to her in private, any therapy involving a child that was going to be successful had to involve the supportive adults present as well.

"Before I share my thoughts going forward, I'm wondering, do the two of you have any questions?"

Leilani looked at George, then at Tate. “Probably about a million!” She smiled. “How did Hendor do? Are you worried about him? What should we do to help him?”

Tate smiled in return. "I'm sorry for keeping you both in suspense, and I truly appreciate you allowing me to speak with him alone. It's not that I fear you will do or say anything wrong, it's just that he wants so much to keep pleasing you, I can't be sure he won't censor himself. As I told him, I won't reveal anything he said to me specifically, but if there's anything he needs to tell you but doesn't know how, we can tell you together. He's a wonderful boy, but as you probably can imagine, he's still traumatized by everything he has experienced and he carries a lot of anger inside him that he doesn't know how to deal with. Naturally, he doesn't want to worry you or make you sad, so I don't know how open he is with you about everything he feels."

Leilani looked at George then at Tate. “To be honest, Hendor is always loving, and caring, but I have sensed him holding back from time to time. I’m not surprised given the horrors he’s probably faced in his young life.”

Sullivan nodded. "I don't know whether he will ever open up to you both completely because of his strong desire not to bring you pain, but if he does choose to open up, and I know this is more difficult than it sounds, I would recommend that you just listen and not immediately seek to reassure him that he doesn't have to worry about it anymore. I know you love him but if you ease his fears too quickly, it could seem to him that should be the end of the conversation. I realize what I'm asking from you is not easy, and I will be here for both of you to help you manage your own emotions about what he shares."

Leilani nodded. “I’m a Counsellor, I should be able to handle whatever Hendor throws at us, but I know it’s not that simple.” She offered Tate a smile. “Any help will be very much appreciated Tate.”

George nodded in agreement as he spoke. "We both know that his recovery and healing will take a very long time, possibly the rest of his life. There are times that I can feel his dreams turn to nightmares." He frowned slightly as he stared off in memory, shaking his head slowly.

He then refocused his eyes on Tate. "Whatever it takes, whatever he needs, he is our son and we will support him in any way possible."

"I had no doubt the two of you would say that," Tate offered sincerely, "and I mean no criticism toward the two of you. Expecting you to be his loving parents but also his objective confidantes is a bit like asking you to see your own noses without a mirror. In the meantime, if I can be of personal therapeutic assistance to either of you individually, please let me know. If you'd feel more comfortable seeing someone other than me in that capacity, we can arrange that as well. You both have a lot on your plate now and you don't have to tackle it alone."

Leilani gazed toward Tate. “Tate, our having another baby...it won’t make Hendor feel as though he’s being pushed out, or replaced will it?”

George looked at Tate as Leilani asked the question that they both had been worried about. While they had tried to comfort their son that he would be loved exactly the same as his gesturing sibling, George was still concerned that Hendor might feel some kind of animosity.

"It's going to be an adjustment for him," Tate offered honestly and without hesitation. "It would be for any child. Normally, I would suggest encouraging him to help care for the new baby as a way to make him feel important and not left out, but I'm also keenly aware his past forced him to grow up faster than any young boy should, so there needs to be a balance between giving him some responsibility, but also letting him be a child. One thing I would suggest is to carve out some time to do activities just with him. It wouldn't have to be a long period of time, but I would make it a regular occurrence… Time just to read to him, opportunities to watch a vid just with him… Little things like that. I would venture to guess the more comfortable he feels, the more willing he will be to naturally spend time with his new sibling."

"That's no problem," George replied first. We do that now already. We do everything as a family, making him see just how important he is to us. He has even been helping us in getting the baby's room ready, looking like the proud big brother that he is about to

"That's great," Sullivan replied. Looking to both, she offered, "It's good of you both to think about potential challenges and it is possible things could change over time on that front, but for now, you deserve to take a deep breath. You're doing all you can to be the best parents to him. I'll be here to help him as well so you can just love him as you should. In the meantime, let me know if you'd like me to speak to his teacher about the bullying. I don't want to make things worse for him, but I also don't want him to feel powerless. I think if I can help him deal with his anger and his fears, he may find healthier ways to deal with the problem himself. Still, he knows he's not fighting alone."

Leilani offered Tate a smile. “The bullying problem shouldn’t be so bad now, there’s a new teacher at the school who seems to have a handle on things. We will keep an eye on it though.” She smiled at George, then looked back at Tate. “Thank you for all your help Tate, I really do appreciate it.”

"Anytime," Tate replied with a smile. "He's a lovely boy and I can't wait to get to know him better."