Not waving, but drowning (Miraj's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Part 1 of 4))

Posted on Tue Mar 28th, 2023 @ 1:23am by Lieutenant JG Miraj Derani & Lieutenant Commander S'hib

Mission: Season 6: Episode 2: Survival
Location: Gymnasium (Deck 9)
Timeline: MD02 1300
1173 words - 2.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Miraj had done the first half of her shift, shuttling people up to Elysium. She had an hour or so before the first trips back down started up again, And she should get something to eat. but she didn't have much appetite. The holodecks were down, so she couldn't get out of her head by being a pirate, going for a swim, or getting hours in the flight simulator. She really wanted to get the data out of the helm to try and reconstruct what had happened, but that was so far down engineering's to-do list she didn't think she'd see that for a month.

She found herself in the gym, running on the treadmill trying to outrun the enormity of the situation she was in. the last year, so much had happened. Was still happening. Miraj, enjoy your birthday, its a clusterfuck.

After a few minutes warm up, she settled into a steady meditative pace, her awareness turning inward to the steady pound of her feet against the moving belt, and the pant of her breaths as she ran, trying to escape the fact she was another year older, and felt even more of a disaster than she had last year.

So absorbed in her quiet mental space was she that the doors to the gym, though faulty as they were, opened and closed without her notice.

The rhythmic beat of her bare feet masked the silent and judgmental tap of boots slowly approaching.

"Must be nice... not losing anyone you know." A fragile voice spoke out from behind Miraj.

Lost in her own world, Miraj stumbled and tottered for a moment before she righted herself and turned to the speaker, "Sorry?"

“No… I don’t think you are.” The man replied as he walked around the treadmill and stopped, loosely crossing his arms and leaning them against the head of the controls; a phaser in his right hand.

“You seem quite happy actually.”

Miraj's eyes dropped to the phaser, and she automatically took a step back. "No. no. just, a long way out at sea." she wondered if she could make a run for it.

“I just don't really understand is all…” He continued, seemingly ignoring what she had said. “W-what happened? you… you push the wrong button?”

He chuckled at this though he didn't know why, his eyes flicking about at the treadmill seemingly lost in his own thoughts. “You just had to fly us in a straight line…”

His eyes flicked up at this, piercing into her own with sad but angry eyes. “If you had just done that! they'd still be here!” he yelled, banging his arms against the treadmill that separated them.

She flinched, jumping back at the bang. "Going straight was the problem." She tried, keeping her tone mild, mollifying. "I had to turn, or we would have sliced in half, I didn't know we'd end up here."

He pushed off the treadmill as she spoke, hands pressed against his forehead, grinding the handle of the phaser and the palm of his hand into his skin out of frustration.

"Well, they didn't, they died..." He growled through gritted teeth as tears streaked from his eyes. "A lot of people did..." he continued, waving the phaser lazily in her direction. "Just... gone."

"Everything... the whole fucking section, it's all gone, they're all gone!" He shouted, collapsing to his knees. "You took everything from me."

Tears continued to stream down his face, pooling on his chin as they dripped onto the decking below. "My Sophie... Tanya..."

"I'm sorry, I really am." Miraj's heart wrenched for the poor man. But she didn't know how to help him. "I did the best I could."

He didn't say anything else, he just sat there on his knees weeping even as the doors to the gymnasium opened once more and two security officers rushed in.

"We found him, he's in the Gymnasium... reports were correct he does have a weapon." One of the officers remarked, whispering down at his comm badge, eyes still tracking the scene ahead of him.

"Ensign, walk back slowly..." The other officer said softly, waving a hand at Miraj to fall back to them.

"Samuels put the phaser down, we gotta take you to sickbay man." The first officer retorted, moving slowly forward, his own phaser drawn but not levelled at Samuels, instead reaching a hand out in front trying to de-escalate.

"No! fuck you both, you're supposed to be my friends!" Samuels yelled, phasers now pointing at each other.

Miraj was frozen. For a moment it looked like the distressed man was collapsing under the weight of his own grief so she could slip away and now the two security officers had shifted him back towards anger. It took too long to force herself to take a slow step back

"Put the phaser down, NOW! drop it Samuels! drop it!" both the officers yelled as thumbs teased above the fire controls.

Mira took another step aside, trying to move slowly and carefully.

Samuels watched as Miraj slipped behind the two officers, his unblinking scowl boring into her eyes even as he snapped back the phaser towards his own head, pressing the beam emitter into his cheekbone.

"She did this! she did this to all of us!" He yelled, his gaze briefly looking into the eyes of the other men before looking back at Miraj even as phaser fire streaked across the gym in an attempt to stun him.

But it was too late, Samuel's thumb had already pressed firmly against the control plate, triggering the firing control unit of the weapon, mere fraction of a second later the emitter fired its lethal payload of nadion particles directly into his skull.

The sound was horrific, a twisted combination of a man's final scream blended with the hissing of body fluids instantly vaporising.

"Fucking hell..." One of the officers said as he recoiled, turning away in disbelief with his hands on his head.

The other fell to his knees, defeated and in shock at seeing someone he knew take their own life.

Miraj stood there, hands pressed to her mouth as she held back a scream, and felt a terrible calm come on. Was that her fault? She didn't know anymore. The poor dead man seemed to think so. She touched her combadge, the other men too shocked to take the needed step. "Derani to sickbay, Medical Emergency in Deck 9 Gym." She didn't know if they could do anything. Somethings that resulted in death could be fixed if gotten to help quickly. But she didn't know if a phaser burning through your brain was one of them. Or if this man would be greatful if they did. "Head trauma. Man down.."

As people began to materialise around them, Miraj looked at Samuels' lifeless body and wondered if he was going to be the only and last person to succumb to despair or if he was just the first. And how many would fall into the abyss, cursing her name.

 

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