Mahpiohanzia

Posted on Fri Oct 20th, 2023 @ 7:07pm by Lieutenant JG Miraj Derani & Captain Samuel Woolheater

Mission: Season 6: Episode 3: Far From Home
Location: DECK 09 - Outside the Gym
Timeline: MD05 1700
Tags: Obscure Sorrows
2648 words - 5.3 OF Standard Post Measure

[ON:]

Samuel exited the gym wearing gym shoes and cotton-like green athletic shorts that came down to his knees. A well worn red t-shirt. Across the front and in gold was a logo with a sledgehammer in a royal crown. It read, "King of Hammers: Mars - Valles Marineris - Repulsorlift Motorcycle Endurance Race - 2387". He had just come from a workout and there was a towel around his shoulders. The t-shirt was sweaty with big wet patches across the chest and back.

Sam was off-duty on a short medical leave after his leg surgery. He was enjoying some of the downtime and relished not being cold. Being able to wear shorts and have a good sweat that didn't turn to ice on his skin. In his ears there were earbuds as he listened to his music. He waited at the turbolift after calling it. Wiped his forehead and bobbed his head a bit to the beat of the music. The doors opened and he stepped into the turbolift. "Deck thirty-two" he called to the turbolift. Nothing happened. He couldn't hear anything other than his workout music. He called again and enunciated more clearly. Still the turbolift remained motionless. Annoyed, he pulled on the right earbud and it popped out, "Deck. Thir-tee-twooo!" he said again annoyed. This time, he could hear as the computer responded,

(beep-beep-beep) =A= Voice command functions are non-operational at this time. Please use the keypad to input your destination. =A=

Before the announcement was even finished, he keyed in his destination and hit the "GO" button. As he was about to put the earbud back in he heard a commotion outside the turbolift. It sounded like Ensign Derani's voice. A person that he hadn't seen or heard from in weeks.

It didn't get far, opening a crack on the next deck down, to the sounds of a fight.

"... said you had to go to your quarters!" spluttered a man's voice.

"I know what he said, but I need to do this first!" a woman replied.

With the right ear phone dangling and the left one in his ear, he stepped out of the lift with his hand preventing the door from closing. He looked towards the sound and saw Ensign Derani standing outside the closed doors to shuttlebay one.

The doors finally opened enough for Sam to see Miraj Derani, arms wrapped around herself in an anxious hug, trying to get past a harried looked petty officer in mustard, insisting, "We have to go to deck 16."

"I'm going to my ship," she threw back.

Sam watched the scene unfold and he didn't like it. Something about how Miraj's arms were wrapped around her, just like she was hugging herself. Sam saw that no one else was going to step in a say something. And, he rather did like supporting the underdog in situations. He decided to act. He said sternly, "Ay?! What's all this then?"

His voice carried, just like a whistle and had the desired effect of capturing their attention and stopping, at least temporarily, the harassment. "Ensign? You good?"

Miraj flinched back at the new voice, shrinking back in to the security officer's protecting space instinctively, even as the security officer was moving to put himself between the ensign and the new comer, only relaxing a little when he realised who was talking.

"Yes, we're good." Miraj said.

It was still a moment, Sam read their faces. Everything was not "good" despite the proclamation to the contrary. But there was nothing he could do. The security officer stood his ground and Miraj looked like that's what she wanted. Sam nodded. "OK. Well. It's good to see you Ensign. I'll leave you to it" he said. To do more was to go against the express command of those entrusted to her care and safety. The lift beeped at him as another deck was calling. Sam replaced the ear bud and took a parting look.

"Hold the lift!" The security officer called out.

Miraj glared at the security officer. "Don't hold the lift. Its fine!"

"Its not fine." The Petty Officer was obviously near the end of his rope. He grabbed Miraj's arm and tried to drag her forward. "Deck 16 please."

Miraj dug her heels in as best she could. "Not yet!"

Sam removed his hand from the lift door. He took both earbuds out this time and they dangled over his left shoulder. He knew that the lift would resume. He knew exactly that the lift doors would close. "...oh dear...I seem to have let the doors close. How clumsy of me..." he said.

All the while he saw the security officer, a petty officer by naval rank attempting to pull Miraj towards the now departed lift. Normally, marines and naval personnel did not order each other about. If they did it was for a specific task or function. Typically, everyone stayed in the boundaries of their respective chain of command. But something was not right here. One did not drag officers, even Ensigns, about the ship like a wet mop.

And so, Sam immediately did not like that behavior and asked, "Petty Officer, why are you attempting to drag the Ensign to deck sixteen and doing so forcibly?" He had heard Miraj talking about her ship and her wanting to see it. The shuttlebay was not too far from here and Sam could guesstimate that from Miraj's direction, she was trying to get there. But he also knew that she was under escort.

The Petty Officer gave a very long-suffering sigh. "Because the Doctor said she was to go to her quarters and rest. And I am not risking the wrath of my superiors if something goes wrong because she's not going to the place where we have all the security measures." the last exasperated outburst was directed at Miraj. The Petty Officer was clearly Just About Done.

"And I won't be able to rest until I've see my ship." And sat in my ship. And flown my ship. Her fingers twitched with the urge to put them on a flight stick.

The Petty Officer looked to Sam, a silent appeal to help him make the ensign see sense.

"Ah. Yes. I see the problem" he said as he took a few steps closer pondering what was to be done. He wiped his forehead with the towel and dabbed his face, getting the sheen off of it as he thought about what to say next. "Ensign Derani?" He softened it just a little by using her name, "Miraj? You know that the security officer, what is your name petty officer?" Sam asked the man.

"Peter Grant."

"Ensign you know that petty officer Grant here has his orders. You also know very well that they are given by people above him who are very concerned for your well-being and safety. You must know this don't you?" Sam asked kindly and empathetically towards her.

"I know! But Queen Anne's not just a shuttle. She's my home, and my friend. I've been in sick bay for day, and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be shut in just a different room!" She was blinking hard by the end of it, shaking as she tried to hold together.

Sam noticed how she was fighting to control herself. But he did not know if it was from fear, from anxiety, from terror? Or from many different emotions. Knowing how much she loved to fly he thought it best to proceed carefully. He said, "Elysium is your home too. And there are a lot of people who care about what happens to you. And to your ship. Ensign? Do you really think its a good idea to see your ship again? I mean so soon after..." he paused a moment. What happened to her was awful and disgraceful. He continued, "...after what happened to you? Do you think seeing the Queen Anne wouldn't be too much of a shock to you? You haven't fully recovered yet?"

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea?" Miraj challenged. "She's my ship!"

A few crew walked by within ear shot. Sam was quiet while they passed and then said, "Of course its your ship. I'm just concerned that seeing the ship so...well so soon...after you were attacked. Well, I don't want it to bring up bad memories for you too soon. You're still healing I should think. Why not wait a bit? Just until you feel better?"

"I don't have any memories!" Miraj half sobbed. "there's nothing there. I don't know what happened. I can't remember. No-ones told me anything and I just want to see my ship!"

Sam didn't know what to say; he wasn't the greatest when it came to connecting to or expressing feelings. But it would be hard not to have some feeling for what Miraj was going through. The fact that no one told her what happened seemed very odd to him. At some point until this moment someone had to have asked her the "what happened to you?" question.

Sam reasoned that someone had asked that question and had put together that Miraj was attacked. Sam further reasoned that Miraj's psyche was blocking that knowledge from her. Probably to protect her sense of self, her personhood if the headshrinkers were right. She was making it difficult to say "no".

Sam looked to Grant and said, "What if I go with you? We'll just let her see her ship, give it a good look over, maybe a few affectionate rubs or two and then back to deck sixteen and no one's the wiser? I'll go with you we'll make it all official like?" He looked at Miraj, "You'd like that wouldn't you Ensign? Just a quick look to let the old girl know you're still here? Aint that right?"

Sam could see the the moment Grant gave in to the idea when his shoulders unclenched and he breathed out. "Five minutes. And you stay right next to me, okay?"

Miraj nodded, "Alright."

Grant made an after you. gesture to Sam, intending he meant to keep Miraj between them.

All the while, Samuel watched Miraj's face. Written on it was a deep sadness. The likes that he had not ever seen on her. There was also defiance in her voice. Her timbre and tone of her "alright" caused him concern. All of these ideas he kept to himself. Only exchanging a look with PO Grant when he acquiesced and agreed. He wanted to trust that this was as simple and innocent as it appeared. He wanted to trust her.

"Well", Sam smiled and said, "there it is. Do you know the way?" he teased Miraj, tried to tease her with some levity. Sam wiped his face and dried himself. He was cooled off as they walked towards the shuttlebay together.

The pilot gave him a look she had perfected on her big brother. It meant, don't be an idiot and then they were through the doors to the lower deck of the main flight bay. Queen Anne's Revenger was hard to miss, a crow amongst doves with her black exterior compared to the Starfleet white around her.

Miraj's shoulders relaxed and she stood straighter, and she finally felt able to breath. Queen Anne really was safe. Not that she'd doubted it when she'd been told she was on board, but nothing compared to seeing it with her own eyes.

There was still a nasty gap along the center of the bay, where the filament had hit, and the space doors were still stuck open maybe twenty meters. Beyond them, unknown endless stars in a streaking multitude. That was the view she craved. Stuck inside a hospital room had squashed her, pushed her inside herself with only the stuttering rhythm of the wounded warp drive to sustain her. Now the siren song of the void was chanting her name again, begging her to take flight, and come home.

Sam followed her gaze to the ship that was black. He should have known that it would be the one sticking out from a sea of grey and white. "There, now that's a right pretty sight." He could see her relax a bit and so far, no bad memories that he could see. It was an amazing sight. Only a forcefield kept the entire bay from decompressing and venting into space.

Miraj happily trotted off to the densely parked cluster of shuttles, PO Grant dogging her heels, and muttering about his imminent demise at the hands of various members of the security team. She slipped around the nose of one of the type 9s

And stopped

It was like someone had walked over her grave, her heart thumped and she she gasped in a breath. There was no reason for it as far as she could see. The shuttles were neatly parked, surrounding Queen Anne, which was just there, but she was frozen. Shadows in her mind flickered, but slipped through her attempts to grab them like smoke, and left an unnamable dread behind.

Staying right with them as they rounded the shuttle and then stopped in view of her ship. Sam misread her sudden stop as admiration of her ship. When something that has been lost and then found again, who wouldn't stand in welcome pause? He said, "Did her heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.” He turned to look at her, motionless standing there a thousand thoughts; silence. "Miraj? Are you OK?" he asked.

"I...I'm scared.... and I don't know why." She hadn't moved any closer to Queen Anne

Sam exchanged a look with Security Officer Grant. "You're remembering. We're right here with you Ensign. We will let nothing happen to you. What do you remember Miraj? Anything might help."

She shook her head. Her hands were shaking, her skin clammy, but there nothing but the same nothing as before.

She took a step forward. She couldn't let this stop her. Queen Anne was just there, someone must have brought her up here, and she needed to know if anyone had done her a mischief. The dread got heavier, thicker, but she forced her way through. By the time she reached the door of the waverider, she was shaking all over. "I can't remember anything? I should be able to remember? shouldn't I?"

"Take your time; there's no rush. It'll come back to you" Sam offered. He was concerned that this was too much already. "Your ship is fine, see? Perfectly safe and sound; all tucked in. You feel better about that yeah? Ready to go back with Officer Grant?"

Miraj nodded. She was definitely ready to go. Her ship was fine, but if she could barely stand next to her, who knew how long it would be before Queen Anne would take flight.

He would have put an arm on her, in support and to offer comfort. But he decided that after what she went through, it would better to keep some distance, "That's the spirit. One day at a time. Reclaiming the garden an inch at a time; that's still progress." He smiled warmly and as they walked back to deck nine, he asked, "You miss flying terribly don't you? "

How to explain the perfect moments when she had a machine wrapped around her, dissolving all the boundaries and plunging her into a perfect vast freedom, more than the sum of her parts, the heaviness of responsibility and fear left far behind. But today the weight of her fears was holding her to the dead ground. "More than breathing. Flight is life."