Music of the Spheres

Posted on Thu Oct 26th, 2023 @ 3:44am by Lieutenant Commander Rin & Captain Gary Taylor

Mission: Season 6: Episode 3: Far From Home
Location: Holodeck
2666 words - 5.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Rin was already in the holodeck when Gary arrived, tweaking the program she had been developing. Gary had asked if she could simulate something to help him better understand how she thought, or worked or... just existed, Rin wasn't quite sure what the right description was.

But raw data wasn't tangible to most people. Short of employing a telepath to literally share her thoughts (which was a terrible idea she had no intent of suggesting, for lots of reasons) she needed a way of translating her experiences into something he could interact with.

Thus, data packets, represented by a variety of small illuminated geometric shapes, were currently flowing along dozens of streams weaving in and out of each other in the air. There was a hum in the air, harmonious, which shifted as different bits of info crossed with one another.

As Gary entered, Rin swept her hand through the air, redirecting one of the streams in his direction. A couple dozen little shapes bounced off him with little flashes of light and melodious chimes before returning to their previous courses. The sound was playful. It almost sounded like the little blips were giggling.

Rin through Gary a slight smile. "Welcome to my brain."

Gay arrived at the holodeck not exactly sure what to expect in the way of a program he had asked Rin to create so he could better understand how she received and processed data.

He stopped outside the arch and saw that a program was already running, and Rin was already inside. "That woman is a workaholic if I ever saw one" he said in respect. Entering the program, Gary had only taken a few steps inside when he stopped and stared in amazement as his head swung from side to side, taking in all he saw. "This is your brain?" He asked. "It looks like a super speed highway of information and data. "How do you process it all Rin?" He asked and as soon as the question left his mouth, he realized how idiotic is sounded. How did anyone process information? It wasn't something you thought on, you just did it. "Sorry Rin. Stupid question. This is amazing." His voice full of awe and wonder. as he looked at the different colored floating shapes. "Amazing." He repeated as he turned to her for an explanation.

"So, this is information inside my head," she started. She leaned down and picked up another glowing shape out of a bucket of them. "And this is outside information. Anytime I - or anyone else - wants to use that information, they have to study it, understand it, and figure out how it fits with what they know."

She reached out and grabbed a similar looking shape from the air and put the two shapes - similar in form and color - together. A pleasant ring sounded as they connected and happily went alone their way in the stream of data.

"Computer, run Avalon sub-program," she instructed the holodeck. The room lit up as a nearly endless number of data streams manifested, weaving in and out of the streams already present, data packets jumping from one stream to the next. It was bright and colorful and beautifully melodious, if a bit loud. Every once in a while, though, something crunched or rang badly as the wrong bits collided with each other.

"This, while fascinating, would blow my brain over time," she admitted. "Drones appear to process as much data as they do because they are constantly transmitting it from drone to drone. The processing work is diffused throughout the Collective."

"Computer, decrease volume to 10%," Rin continued. "If I let this run long enough it descends into a chaotic mess." Sparks began to fly as more packets collided with each other, setting off more and more discordant tones until it there was a continuous, thunder-like roar, even with the volume down.

She looked over as the sparks formed a waterfall-like effect to her right. "Oh dear, cascade failure," she quipped. "Computer, reset program. Run Avalon sub-program at 5%."

The program started again, now with far fewer streams. "This, however, I can handle. I don't just look at packets. I can see patterns in the streams. I can see gaps that need to be filled."

She reached out and gently took a stream in each hand and pulled them together until they merged together. "This I can do. And, yes, it's beautiful and attractive and, for me anyway, calming, but I can walk away from it."

Gary stood and watched in awe as Rin spoke and gave him a demonstration of what went on inside her brain and how she processed the information she has access to. It was in a word... memorizing has the data streams floated by in a more or less happy harmony. It was marred only occasionally by a sour note of disharmony.

He was further surprised as Rin explained the amount of data she could safely process and handle without doing any damage to her own mind. He had thought Rin would have been able to handle more data but was relieved that she couldn't. Not that he thought she would do something nefarious with the additional information. No, he was relieved on a purely emotional level. He liked Rin and didn't want to see any harm could come to her especially if it could be prevented in the first place.

He was pleased Rin had been considerate to explain to him what she saw when.
looked at the packets. Explaining she saw patterns in the data stream and more importantly gaps that need to be addressed and filled. He was thankful an officer as efficient as Rin was handling and taking the time to explain and basically walk him through the process.

When she had stopped her explanation. He looked at her, a grateful smile on his face. "Thank you, Rin, for a thoroughly fascinating explanation. One I could understand. As fascinating as your demonstration was the one thing I was most pleased to hear was your admission that you can walk away from it. I'd hate to think of you being addicted to this."

"It might have been addictive once. We chose to remain in a Collective of our own devising on Tevara. Leaving was difficult because suddenly your head was...empty. Lonely. Data might have filled that void once, but not now. I need something more complicated than data." She smiled slightly as she watched her simulation run. ""But it is pretty."

She plucked a red pyramid out of the stream, and then a second, then a third, each chiming as she snapped them together in her hand. Then she picked out a blue cube and snapped it too into place, making a different, but still melodious sound. Then a green pyramid, and the chime was jarringly discordant, so she tossed the shape aside. "I think I just invented a game. Codebreaking of sorts. Figure out which pieces fit and which do not, as indicated by the tones. Or we could simplify it for kids, although I suspect they might find making noise more fun than making melody."

"I can see where it would be lonely Rin. Your head is filled with other voices and suddenly their gone. That is a huge adjustment to make. You say you need something more complicated than data. Have you found anything?" He asked, both curious and anxious to hear her answer.

Gary chuckled in good humor. "I think you may be onto something there Rin. Musical data pads. Kids get more points for more combinations they make. think kids would love it. Little ones because of the pleasant tones it produces when you get pads matched up. Older kids would like it because they can destroy stuff." Gary observed.

"That's me, agent of chaos and destruction," the ever-orderly Rin deadpanned.

"As for your question...I try and fill the space with people. Non-xB, I mean. It's not quite the same, although I'm getting better. Ebi...Ebi was always there, in the back of my head...until suddenly he wasn't. And the twins... did I tell you I had godchildren?"

Gary listened as Rin spoke of trying to fill space with people, Heard her sadness over Ebi. "Rin." He said slowly, stopped. What did he want to say? He started again and just let the words flow. "Rin, I am terribly sorry for your loss and emptiness Ebi's loss has caused you. You have your memories of Ebi and let them bring you comfort and maybe even a smile of two, However, you are not alone. I'm here for you, anytime at any hour. I want you to know that." He changed subject, "God children? No, you didn't. Congratulations Rin! That is wonderful. What are their names and ages?"

"They are adults. And they identify as 2 and 4 of 7." Rin paused a moment for Gary to process that. "They were babies on the London, put through maturation by the Borg, eventually escaped and returned to the Federation. And apparently I had agreed when they were born to be their godmother, and they asked if I was still willing to take up that role. So they also filled that space in my head, when we were around each other."

Rin took a deep breath. She could feel her eyes watering. Emotions were, for her, both painful and exhilarating as her regulators continued to break down. And at that moment there were a whole lot of emotions running through her head.

"Well, while I am oversharing..." she continued. "Counseling recently convinced me I should share with my ex the fact that I still love him, despite the fact that it will be emotionally disastrous, in part because he's now married. Of course, he doesn't have a presence in my head like the xBs do, but... he almost fills the void. I had just about figured out how when the accident happened."

She looked around at the streams of shapes still whizzing around them, quickly wiping away a tear when she hoped Gary wasn't looking. "Well, you did ask to see how my brain worked."

Gary listened intently as Rin opened up and shared some personal history with him. "Two and four of seven? They didn't want to lose that identification?" He questioned. "I think that is wonderful that you are their godmother. They couldn't have picked a better one." When Rin mentioned her ex, he grew silent. He was no expert in affairs of the heart. "How do you feel about it Rin?" He asked. "I can see where admitting you still love him would be a healing factor for you but as you say he is married, and that reveal may cause more harm than good. I would think on this before making any decision. Maybe even see if you can pick up how he feels." Gary suggested.

He shook his head from side to side, "You aren't oversharing Rin. I feel honored that you told me." He noticed the tears in her eyes. "Rin. may I make a suggestion? Cry, let your emotions out. No offense but you aren't a Borg anymore. It is okay be human. No one thinks less of you."

He saw her wipe a tear away and made no comment. Why should he? There was nothing that needed to be said. "I certainly did, and I thank you for a masterful and descriptive tour."

"Its not unheard of for an xB to keep their designation, particularly if they were taken as children. I kept mine for years. Didn't feel a particular need to change it until I came across a name that fit."

Rin chuckled slightly. "You're making the same argument I did for keeping things to myself. Counseling thinks otherwise, and that I shouldn't make decisions for him. As for his feelings, I am well aware of them, and my inability to reciprocate has been painful for him. He pushed to see me pretty much the moment he was notified I had been recovered. He was the first person in the Federation that made me feel safe."

"As for 'crying it out'...my brain won't do it. Maybe someday."

"I did not know that. Thank you for the explanation." Gary replied honestly. He saw Rin as Rin, no ex borg. Rin a person just like him. "Maybe one day, they like you, will find a name they find comfortable. I am happy for you that he made you feel safe Rin." Gary wondered about her statement of being unable to reciprocate as he saw her tears. But decided it was a personal matter and none of his business.

"Never give up hope Rin. Never."

"Gary..." Rin searched for the right tone of voice, something that reflected appreciation for his concern even though she found it misplaced. Something quiet but insistent. "They have names they find comfortable. They are Two of Seven and Four of Seven. Those are the names they have chosen. They are as good of names as any. You call it a designation, but all names are designations. People are just uncomfortable with those that remind them where we come from. Choosing a new name isn't an improvement, it's merely a change."

Gary listened in silence as Rin explained her god children's decision in regard to their names. He nodded in silent acceptance of what she said for it was right. Names were identifiers. Of how we viewed and accepted others. They shaped our opinion of how we viewed others as well as how others viewed us. He raised his head and met her gaze. "You are right Rin. Absolutely right. I have no comeback for that. I will say I meant no offense when I had said finding a proper name. Still, I apologize."

"Thank you. I know you mean no offense." Rin wasn't sure what else to say. People tried so hard to be 'helpful,' and so many ignored it when xBs told them they were not succeeding. The 'helpers' saw it as a dichotomy: Borg bad, human (or whatever other race) good, therefore best to eliminate Borg influences, get the xBs back to the closest semblance of their own lives as possible. Which boiled down to seeing xBs as a lesser version of their "true" selves.

It was maddening some days.

At least Gary listened. He learned. *He asked.* She valued that. A lot.

"I suspect I benefitted from not immediately being recovered by the Federation. My experience is more than Borg and Federation. My experiences are Borg, xB Free Collective, Tavara, and Federation. I gained some sense of self long before I reconnected with anyone who knew what the heck a human was. Less expectations. The Tavarans were trying to figure us out just as much as we were trying to figure ourselves out. Now I can use that perspective to help others understand. It might be my only social skill, and I'm only kind of joking about that."

"You are more than the sum of your parts Rin." Gary mused. "Your experiences
with the Tavara along with what you experienced as first a Borg thana a free Borg has given you a unique perspective. I will say quite honestly and with utmost honesty, that you Rin, are one of the few people I have ever met who knows who they are."

Which was, without a doubt, the first time anyone had said such a thing to her. Not even James, although he came reasonably close. He, of course, had baggage Gary did not: memories of her before assimilation. But no one had ever said what Gary just did.

She nodded solemnly. "Thank you." That didn't feel like it was quiet enough, but she didn't really know what else to say. She waited a couple beats, looking around at the program still running around them. "So, is this demonstration sufficient?"

Garry nodded, "Yes Rin. the demonstration was most sufficient. Thank you for it."

 

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