It's Just Not Cricket (Roll Call)

Posted on Mon Jan 6th, 2025 @ 7:31pm by Captain Kett V'Laass

Mission: Season 6: Episode 5: A church beyond heaven
Location: Holodeck 4
Timeline: MD4
620 words - 1.2 OF Standard Post Measure

“But you are from Cestus Three” said the dismayed Andrea as the two stepped into the holodeck.

“Indeed” responded his Vulcan counterpart without emotion.

“So” exclaimed the human “Aren’t you guys famous for your baseball leagues, and Famous throughout the federation for the Pike City Pioneers baseball team!”

“Indeed” Nodded the Kett

“Then why the hell are we playing cricket!” Adrea waved his cricket bat over his head as the room around them shimmered and transformed from the USS Elysium’s Holodeck to the Lords Cricket Ground, St Johns Wood, London England, circa 19th Century. “Come on Cricket. Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.”

The Vulcan raised one quizzical Eyebrow “A crumpet is a small griddle bread made from an unsweetened batter of water or milk, flour, and yeast normally served in a circula…..”

Andrea cut him off “Fine, Fine I get it. So how do we play this thing he said looking around the empty ground and the lush green grass.

Kett took out a data padd and his finger danced quickly on the touch screen display which made a gentle beep noise every time it was touched. The Vulcan read “Each team is made up of 11 players. The bowler must bowl 6 legal deliveries to constitute an over.”

“A game must have two umpires stood at either end of the wicket. The umpires then must count the number of balls in the over, make decisions on whether the batsmen is out after an appeal and also check that the bowler has bowled a legal delivery.

“A batsmen can be given out by either being bowled ( the ball hitting their stumps), caught (fielder catches the ball without it bouncing), Leg Before Wicket (the ball hits the batsmen’s pads impeding its line into the stumps), stumped (the wicket keeper strikes the stumps with their gloves whilst the batsmen is outside of their crease with ball in hand), hit wicket (the batsmen hits their own wicket), Handled ball ( the batsmen handles the cricket ball on purpose), timed out (the player fails to reach the crease within 30 seconds of the previous batsmen leaving the field), hit ball twice (batsmen hits the cricket ball twice with their bat) and obstruction ( the batsmen purposely prevents the fielder from getting the ball).”
The fielding team must have one designated wicket keeper who is the only person allow to wear pads and gloves on the field. The wicket keeper stands behind the opposite end to the bowler to catch the ball."

“I did not understand a single word of that…….!” Said Kett as the Vulcan continued to read the rules.

“Test cricket is played over 5 days where each team has two innings (or two chances to bat)…..”

“Two Days! You are kidding me” professed Andrea.

The Vulcan gave him another quizzically raised eyebrow. “The scores are then cumulative and the team with the most runs after each innings are the winner. One Day cricket in played with 50 overs. Each team has 50 overs to bat and bowl before swapping and doing the previous discipline. The team with the most runs at the end of the game wins.

“Wait! So even a One-day match could take all day. How did I let you talk me into this….” The human was interrupted again by the patter patter of rain on their white brimmed hats. “And now it’s raining!”

“Hmmmmmm” said the Vulcan thoughtfully. “I did ask the computer for a realistic weather pattern for the area and climate at the time” He looked about as the rain began to intensify. “It would appear that play is suspended due to poor weather conditions. I am sure play will restart momentarily.”