Now/Then

Posted on Sat Jun 27th, 2026 @ 1:13pm by Commander Rin & Captain Gary Taylor

Mission: Interlude
Location: Sickbay and Restaurant
Timeline: After Welcome aBorg
3426 words - 6.9 OF Standard Post Measure

Seeing the XBorg in the shuttle bay filled Gary's mind with question and general unease. He was also concerned about Rin's wellbeing. Seeing her in such proximity and attempting to and interacting with Two of Eight as the XB called himself seemed
to be wearing on Rin. She looked tired andwan and he wanted to help her. Getting her location from the computer he headed there.

***Sickbay***

Entering Sickbay he didn't immediately see her but as he made his way deeper he finally found her in an isolated room with Two of Eight. She was in a chair and she looked asleep. He quietly approached until he was in front of her. "Rin?" He said not a whisper but not too loudly either. "Rin." he repeated.

Rin blinked. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. The fact that Gary had suddenly appeared before her, however, suggested either she had, or he was greatly abusing the transport system.

She didn't try faking it. She figured most people would understand, and Gary would certainly be among them. Also, he wasn't an idiot, and people who tried bluffing their way through such things always seemed to be assuming the other party was an idiot.

"Hello, sir. Is there something I can do for you?" she asked.

"Hello Rin, I wanted to check on you, see how you were faring." Gary answered his eyes drifting to the biobed where Two of Eight slept. " Plus, I wanted to talk to you and you look like you could do with something to eat. So, let's go and give you a break for awhile. The staff will notify us if anything comes up with Two of Eight."

She nodded in acknowledgement. She knew she was hovering like a mother hen. It just felt...wrong not to.

It was complicated.

"I could definitely benefit from a break." She considered the PaDD sitting on her lap. She knew the point was to take a break from work, but she picked it up regardless. Besides, she actually had stuff on it that might be relevant for Gary..

As the pair exited Sickbay, Gary looked over to her. In the lights of the corridor Rin looked even more pale, more tired. "How hungry are you and do you have a particular place you'd like to go." Wanting to give her the break, both mental and physical as well as the time she needed that a break would afford her.

"Kind of starving. I'd say pancakes, but I want something stronger than orange juice. Char and Grill?" Rin offered.

Gary grinned at her comment of kind of starving. He was going to suggest Das Alpine Haus but decided against it for while the restaurant had excellent food it was also a high volume location and what Rin needed was a location that was much lower keyed. "Sure, that is a good choice. We can definitely do that.

"This is when you express some concern and tell me I need to give myself a break," Rin said matter of factly as they stepped from the turbolift onto deck 10. Her arms were folded behind her back, the posture she took when being very serious, stoic, or impersonal. It had been her default bearing when she had first joined the Elysium. Since then, however, she normally adopted a less formal posture. She had taken it up in the shuttle bay a couple days ago when Two had arrived. "Followed by a request for my opinion on where we go from here. Except now that I've said something, you're going to protest...and then follow up with all of that. Yes?"

She cocked her head slightly to look at Gary. There was - maybe - a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Gary looked at her for heartbeat maybe two before he shook his head, "I see no need to point out all that you already know. I am here to see that you take a break eat and give your opinion on our guest and how to proceed." He replied as the pair entered the Char and Grill and found it to be surprisingly quiet. "Looks like we cam at a good time." He noted as he directed them to a table that was out of the way of any traffic flow as well offered them some privacy.

Rin almost succeeded in swallowing a smirk at the fact that Gary just did everything she had predicted. She slid into the indicated booth and ordered a glass of dark beer. "The best comparison I've come up with is that Two is like a child. They're sentient, they understand the world around them but not necessarily what it all means. There's a preconception that we have no emotions when we separate from the Collective. That's not true. Fear, confusion, anger are all common, but we don't know how to express it. They're... more complicated. They've been out a very long time but I think they may have buried themselves in their drone...personality, for lack of a better word... to get through whatever happened to them."

Gary saw Rin smirk and he just smiled and gave a soft chuckle. He ordered beer also. "I see. So they have emotions. How do we get through to allow them to express these emotions also will having these emotions out and raw prove to be dangerous to the crew or the ship? In addition will counseling help to express and handle these emotions?"

"I don't think they're any more dangerous than any other person in this situation," Rin replied. "Sthilg confirmed Two has no assimilation nanites. My biggest concern was that their desire for a Collective would lead them to try creating a new Collective, but that simply isn't possible here. They haven't even shown interest in interfacing with me. I haven't offered, but I'm a little surprised it hasn't come up. "

At that moment a waiter showed up with drinks. Rin thanked them and took a long sip before continuing.

"I don't think having a counselor involved would hurt." She took another sip, then sighed. "I was going to request I be present, but I know I need to let go. It's just...Starfleet is not great at dealing with xBs. It tries. I'm not questioning its intent. But people do not fully understand our experiences. Worse is when then insist they do. But... I'm not sure how to deal with this either. 83 years out yet nearly catatonic."

Gary listened as Rin gave him exactly what he asked for, her opinion. He heard the quiet frustration in her voice. When she finished he looked at his beer and then her, "Rin, I can't even begin to understand what you went through and what Two of Eight is currently dealing with. To be cut off and alone. I do believe that you understand his situation better than anyone and that is a plus for him. I think counseling sessions would help and any guidance you can provide the counselors in how to proceed is going to be a plus."

Rin just nodded and took another drink. "I've actually been working on protocols for encountering xBs. It was a pet project back home. I took it up more seriously when I met Two and Four of Seven, and I've had plenty of time here to continue working on it. It's a draft, not reviewed by anyone, but I can circulate what I have."

"My biggest concern is how we address the childish state of mind." Rin paused, choosing her words carefully. "They're a sentient being. They have the right to consent or not consent. However, we also have different rules for children because they don't fully understand the ramifications of their choices., and I'm not sure where to draw that line. Starfleet personnel tend to think that removing as many implants as possible is the way to help an xB reintegrate into society. Some have forcibly removed implants. I'm not suggesting this crew would. But if you convince an xB to go along with that, does that count as consent? If the patient was a child, it probably wouldn't. Children are easily swayed by authority figures. But we're also trying to teach that they have autonomy, and I don't know how to draw that line."

"All valid concerns." Gary answered, "I think you are right in discussing consent. Two isn't a child however his mind is childlike at least right now and large part of that could be from being alone for eighty three years. I also don't think removing implants for the sake of removing them isn't the way to move forward. Perhaps an advocate is what he needs? Someone who has his best interests at heart and can discuss cause and effect of any decisions he makes. Who can relate to what he is going through and dealing with. Also, I don't know if there is a line at least a definite one. I think the line is constantly moving, shifting here in these initial interactions and will take time to establish."

"I used implant removal as an example," Rin clarified. "The issue will likely come up on a variety of matters. But I appreciate your agreement on that matter. Two and Four of Seven had such a negative experience I'm surprised they chose to join Starfleet."

She paused again in thought. "It is deeply distressing to wake up and find parts of yourself missing. For me it happened on Tavara, but even when consenting it's.. complicated. People think removing the Borg influences helps us return to our former selves. I think a lot of people look at the events surrounding Admiral Picard. It made sense to remove his. But we're not all Admiral Picard."

"I, for example, am far too short to be him," Rin added deadpan as she grabbed her glass for another drink.

Gary was about to comment when Rin made her joke. He paused in taking a sip of his beer. Not missing a beat and maintaining eye contact he replied. "And you have a full head of hair."

"Did he have hair before his encounter with the Borg?" Rin asked thoughtfully. Her fingers grabbed a lock of her own hair and pulled it toward her face, as if to examine it. "The doctors had to work on getting my hair to grow back, and it doesn't have the same texture."

"Bald before, bald after. Guess nanites can't regrow hair." He grinned at her. "What's different about your hair texture?" He asked genuinely interested as he had never heard anyone say anything about their hair when encountering the Borg.

"It used to be wavy. I've been told you can always guess what time of day a picture was taken by how unruly my hair had become." Rin tapped some buttons on the PaDD and handed it to Gary.

THe first two images were her official starfleet identification photos. Other than the hair, she looked similar to how she looked today, other than younger. A keen eye would pick up slight differences in bone structure, but it was unmistakably Rin.

Other photos were casual snapshots, and this was where the differences were more obvious. Younger Rin was...bubbly? Her expressions were far more emotional, her posture and manners less measured. A lot of the images came from her Academy days. SHe seemed to have a small, close knit group of friends that kept showing up, including the current Captain James Addison of the USS Endurance.

This younger woman wasn't entirely foreign. She had a quiet seriousness to her, and in more formal pictures she had a similar bearing as Rin did today.

And there did seem to be a daily battle of keeping her hair regulation standard.

Gary's eyes went to the images on the PaDD. There was a whole series of them. He raised his eyes briefly from the PaDD to look at Rin and back down to the images.. There was no mistaking the images showed a younger Rin a less he didn't want to use the term less serious so he settled for more relaxed. The smile that lit up her whole face. A person who mixed with others. who enjoyed being with others and their company and they enjoyed hers. He handed the PaDD back to her, "Flyaway hair?" He questioned.

"I'm not sure what your question is," Rin said. "That's just what my hair did. It wasn't what she was going for."

Gary, "Not sure it was a question maybe an observation." He replied and he didn't miss Rin referring to her younger self as she as if it was an entirely different person and perhaps with all Rin had gone through and overcome maybe her younger self was.

Silence filled the air, in an attempt to get the conversation moving again, he said. "I notice you know Captain Addison. I didn't know that."

Rin paused, confused. She and Gary had talked a fair amount about her life. Really, it hadn't come up? It was buried in her service record, but it was hardly a fact that someone would have been looking for. Ancient history, utterly irrelevant to her duties. And perhaps she had assumed he knew because Gary kind of always knew about things. But now, thinking back, she couldn't recall a specific discussion. She remembered the two of them discussing Two and Four of Seven. Had James not come up in that discussion? Had she maybe just referred to him as James?

"Oooooh, I'm sorry," Rin said. He face went slightly more pale than what it already was. "I made an assumption. That is on me."

She also knew James didn't talk about it much, which make this almost feel like breaking a confidence. It wasn't. He didn't hide it. It just was... personal.

She flipped through the photos again. More casual shots. Nothing that screamed relationship at first glance. Although there was no reason not to believe it if told. She found one with them holding hands, with her left hand in the frame. The one with a small engagement ring on the fourth finger.

"I...married the current Captain Addison," she said awkwardly, handing the PaDD back. "I'm Nicola Addison."

"Am." Not "was." Interesting pronoun choice.

"The really awkward part here is we got married just before graduation so we'd be assigned to the same ship. But he was on an away mission that couldn't be recalled, so he was not aboard when we engaged the Borg. He found out several days later, when a ship that wasn't the London recovered his team."

She looked like she might be in emotional pain as she said that.

Gary listened as Rin told him about Captain James Addison, her looked at the photos, saw the one with them holding hands and the engagement finger on her left hand her relationship with him and subsequent marriage to him. When she finished he spoke quietly. " I only know Captain Addison by his reputation and by all accounts he is a good, solid well respected captain." he paused for a moment and then continued, " I didn't mean to cause you any emotional pain. I also couldn't help but notice that you just referred to yourself as Nicola Addison. Do you prefer that to Rin?" He asked honestly but was aware the question could bring more pain for Rin. "If the question or answer is painful, please do not answer." He switched topics, "How long did you serve together before the Borg incident occurred?" As he asked he realized that question could prove to be just as painful as his previous one. He decided to just to just be quiet and let talk or not.

“No, no, you’re not causing the pain,” Rin replied, waving a hand to emphasize this was not about him. “The more complex my emotions get, the more sense I have of how much pain he’s gone through, and that hurts. And I definitely didn’t spring that on you the right way. That was my mistake.”

“ I don’t remember being Nicola. People would explain her to me, but they might as well have been talking about a completely separate person. And I did have memories as Rin. I was Rin for almost a decade before I returned to the Federation and heard about this other life.”

“But the longer I live, the more complicated my identity becomes. I don’t remember my childhood, but my birth parents do. I don’t remember my marriage, but James does. I have relationships with all three of those people. The marriage was real, regardless of what I remember. My service record noted him as next of kin. Still does, actually. She’s not this separate person anymore, but she’s also not quite me. Leads to complicated pronouns and verb tenses. Her. Me. Was. Is. Never sure what’s right. I do prefer Rin. I’ve played with the idea, but… it’s complicated.”

“We met our junior year at Academy. Served 18 months. Apparently pledged ourselves as godparents. I’m technically still Catholic, because baptisms last forever. I know we loved each other. But I don’t remember it. I will say that when I returned to the Federation, I knew I was safe with him. No idea who he was, but I knew I was safe. I doubt I’d be on the Elysium without him, and I certainly wouldn’t be the person you know.”

Gary sat and listened as Rin talked. He didn't interrupt, ask questions just sat and listened. When she finished only then did he speak. "I had no idea. You have no memory at all of your life before being captured by the Borg? And now you see people, relatives that know you but you have no memory off. That must be terribly difficult for you. Yet on some level you knew you were safe with Captain Addison and it seems he has been there to help you this journey. I think that speaks very highly of the man and he obviously still has strong feelings for you.." He paused and took a sip of his beer. "Do you ever think what life would be like if your lost memories suddenly returned? How it would not only impact you but those who know and love you. I speak of Captain Addison, Nicola would be returned. Your parents, their daughter would have her memories back and people to reference and understand even draw joy from shared memories."

She paused to consider the question. "If they all suddenly returned, I imagine I'd have a psychotic break. Experience all the joys, sadness, fears, frustrations, moments of pride, love, hate... all at once? Or even broken up into multiple doses? I don't know how I could process that. I might not understand how this would feel to other people. Would you be able to process all that?"

Gary thought on the question Rin posed to him. He was silent for several seconds before offering a reply. "I like to think I am strong mentally but if I suddenly had a a flood of lost memories back without warning or how to process them, I think I would in all likelihood be catatonic. The sheer volume of information and emotions those memories contained would be overwhelming."

"My lack of memories has been very hard on them," Rin acknowledged with a nod of her head. Then her voice became quiet, more serious, more reverent. "The first time James visited me, the emotional pain was so obvious I suggested he leave. He said he would leave if that's what I wanted, but he would prefer to stay and talk. He acknowledged the pain, but he also said that day was a good day for him, and he hoped it was for me too. Because I was alive and safe, which no one had thought possible. My survival was good enough, regardless if I remembered him. And he addressed me as Rin."

"And I've repeated that story to very few people."

"A most remarkable man." Gary replied when Rin had finished. "I can see why you felt safe with him when you returned to the Federation. He was, is able to see the big picture which is you being alive and safe. I would like to have the honor of one day meeting him and shaking his hand."

"Then we'd better get to work on getting home, because I would love to make introductions."