Open and honest

Posted on Thu Dec 26th, 2019 @ 5:34pm by Lieutenant Commander Alicia Kelea-Salik & Lieutenant Commander Savar cha'Salik hei-Surak Talek-sen-deen [Taylor]

Mission: Casperia Prime - A lesson in relaxation
Location: Savar’s Quarters
2752 words - 5.5 OF Standard Post Measure

Alicia hurried along the corridor, she felt awful for having refused Fernando after she’d willing accepted his advances and gone back to his Quarters. She was confused as to why she’d seen visions of not just Kal but Savar, was she developing feelings for Savar? Was Kal watching over her and trying to tell her to move on? She made straight for Savar’s Quarters hoping he’d be back from the party, she needed to talk to him. She paused by the door pressing the chime, hoping for an answer.

Savar had left the promotion party and returned to his quarters. His thoughts were on Alicia. He saw her leave with De La Rosa and that surprised him. Not that there was anything wrong with De La Rosa but he (Savar) felt he wasn't Alicia's type. He tried to meditate but his thoughts drifted back to Alicia. His thoughts were interrupted by the sounding of his door chime. Rising from the floor he went to the door and opened it.

“Hi Savar” Alicia stood looking pretty flustered. “May I talk to you please?”

Standing there was Alicia and she looked flustered, He nodded and stepped aside to allow her entrance into his quarters "Please come in Alicia." As she entered he shut the door behind them. He gestured to the sofa and chairs, "Make yourself comfortable." As he remained standing until she decided where she was going to sit.

Alicia took a seat on the sofa, motioning for Savar to sit. "I...made a mistake! I left the party with Fernando...Lieutenant De La Rosa. I thought I was ready, that I could..." She shook her head. "I couldn't go through with it!"

"Calm yourself Alicia, breathe deeply and slowly, find your center." Savar spoke in calm measured tones. When you have then continue."

She took a deep breath to calm herself down, closing her eyes to concentrate on finding her calm place. Once she felt calmer she opened her eyes. "I had what you could call a vision, I guess. I saw Kal in my mind but there was also someone else." She paused and looked at Savar curiously. "I saw you!"

Savar arched an eyebrow at her comment, "A vision? Of me? Interesting, please go on. Kal I understand as you were intimate with him but me, I am at a loss to explain. Did my vision say anything to you?"

She shook her head. "No. I just saw you, the way you were standing there at the party when I left." She frowned. "Maybe Kal is telling me that I should move on, maybe my heart is trying to tell me who I should be moving on with." She offered a brief smile.

"Perhaps." He agreed it is a logical assumption." He answered. "Which leads to the next question. How do you know you won't have the same reaction with me as you did with Mr. De La Rosa?"

"I don't" Alicia looked at Savar. "I didn't even realise I had feelings for you, it sounds so stupid! It's not like we've known each other that long. I have enjoyed our talks and your company."

He shook his head, "No. Something is at work here. It could well your subconscious was telling you who to be with. Hence why you saw me." He looked at her, "Do you wish us to have a relationship Alicia? Or perhaps more correctly to attempt to have one?"

Alicia sat looking at Savar for a moment, she needed to be clear headed to make such a decision. She liked him there was no doubting that, she found him more interesting than any Vulcan she'd met before. "I think...I'd like us to try." She nodded. "For want of a better word, I find you...fascinating." She offered a more relaxed and at ease smile.

Savar did something unusual at for a Vulcan. he smiled at Alicia. Not a ghost of a smile a full face smile and his eyes were alight with happiness. "That pleases me a great deal Alicia. I like you as well." He nodded as if coming to a decision. "We will enter into a relationship and see where it takes us if you are agreeable to such an attempt."

Alicia nodded and smiled warmly. "I would like that very much!" She gently placed her hand on his. "That's the first time I've seen you, or any Vulcan, smile! It suits you."

"You are most kind Alicia for saying so." He squeezed her hand softly. "When I am on duty, I wear the mask of the stoic Vulcan. However alone like this, I drop the mask and let my emotions show. You do not disapprove?"

"Certainly not." Alicia shook her head. "I like seeing this side of you. Your people may call you an outcast but I find nothing wrong with you showing your emotions."

"You are truly enlighten Alicia. I wish my people were the same. For a Vulcan to show emotions is considered a weakness a flaw in ones mental state." Savar said calmly.

"There is nothing wrong with being different, that is something that Vulcan's don't seem to understand. There is nothing wrong with your mental state, at least not in my opinion." She moved a little closer to him feeling more at ease now they'd agreed to be together as a couple. "Do you find it difficult having emotions?"

He shook his head as his arms came up to hold Alicia at her waist. " Thank you Alicia for your support." His eyes met hers, "Surprisingly no. I find it more difficult to suppress them when I am on duty."

"Would you be comfortable showing your emotions on duty? Or do you find that it impedes you to do so?" Alicia gently rested her head against Savar's chest. "I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just trying to understand and help if I can."

"I think people expect a Vulcan to be impassive. So I show them what they expect. For me to show emotions I think would scare a great many people Alicia which is why I only do so in private." He smiled at her, "You are helping, you are listening."

"That's what I'm here for, more so for you." Alicia smiled the biggest smile yet as she looked up at Savar. "Can I be of any help in 'shoring up' your emotional walls so-to-speak. I'm a telepath and you're a touch telepath can we...share a bond or something like that, so you can draw on my strength when you need it?"

Savar smiled back at this special woman. "You realize what it means to create and share a bond with a Vulcan? We would share or rather sense each other's moods the very emotion I keep bottled up and as such are quite vibrant when unleashed. Many people are uncomfortable with such an arrangement."

"You forget I'm an empath too, I sense emotions every moment of every day. I keep a mental 'shield" of sorts around the main ebb and flow that I let down to sense deeper feelings. There is always a background of emotions, and thoughts that never goes away. I'd be lost without those. Do you think you could handle being bonded to a mind that's open to the feelings of everyone on this ship? There are times when it can be completely overwhelming."

A Vulcan's mental training is quite sufficient to handle the influx of emotions I would receive, sense from you Alicia. My mental walls will be able to handle it. Savar answered.

"Then, I'm willing to bond with you if it will help you." Alicia gazed into Savar's eyes. "The only other question I have is more sensitive. I obviously know about Pon'farr, to a point at least. Provided all goes well between us, would I be able to help you with that?"

He nodded, "I only wish for you to understand what is entailed with creating a bond Alicia.''

"Then show me" Alicia sat so she was facing Savar. "I'm not afraid to do this, if I'm to be in a relationship with you then I'm not going to hold back on you." She gently brushed his cheek with her hand. "I trust you."

"Your wish is my command." Savar replied as he sat across from her. His long fingers coming up to place them gently at her temple. His eyes closed, "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to yours. Let our minds link and create a union between us. To not only understand each other but to help each other even more." As he spoke his thoughts were going to hers and he was seeing hers of Kal and her miscarriage among others.

Alicia let out a quiet yet audible gasp as their minds first met, the sensation was unlike any other she'd felt before and the flood of memories from Savar was a jumble at first. She took a deep breath and let her mental barriers slowly fall, allowing Savar deeper into her mind, trying not to fight his incursion into her deeper recesses for fear of hurting him.

Savar proceed slowly as he entered Alicia's mind. It was a mind rich in memories and he was hit with an influx of them as he proceeded deeper into her mind. "My thoughts to you Alicia, see what I see, share what I have." He spoke slowly and calmly.

Alicia allowed herself to share Savar's memories. The pain and awkwardness he felt amongst other Vulcans who considered him outcast, the difficulty of keeping a non emotional show when amongst the crew. She could feel and see it all. It was an emotional experience, tears ran down her face at his pain not her own.

Savar reached a hand up and wiped the tears from Alicia's cheeks even as he did he was hit with her intense anguish at Kal's death and then the miscarriage and loss of her child and the utter sense of loss and the overwhelming almost debilitating hopelessness to slice her wrists.

"Don't..." Alicia took a deep breath. "Don't look there, you don't want to see or feel what I did." She gently took hold of his hand. "I...couldnt see any other way then, not until after..." This time the tears were her own for the pain she felt. "I wanted...my baby!!" She tried to hold back the pain but she couldn't, not anymore.

Her warning came too late and Savar was soon hit with a flood of crippling pain and loss. He gasped at the magnitude of what Alicia felt. He was able to hold the connection but the effort left him fatigued.

"No...no more. I'm hurting you!!" Alicia gently lifted her hand to Savar's face before she knew what she was doing her lips gently met his.

"No, I am alright. It helps me know you better Ali..." His words were silenced as their lips met in a gentle kiss.

As their lips touched Alicia’s mind was flooded with images of moments of love and of passion, from times with Kal to prior events with Fernando. It was like a flood gate had been opened as the memories and feelings were there for Savar to see and feel. The resulting flow poured into Alicia’s kiss, she broke it for a moment before their lips met again in a fiery, passionate kiss, her fingers moved to his neckline then into his hair as things started to get heated.

Savar's eyes widen fractionally as these new emotions flooded into his mind. He saw Alicia's intense love for Kal and the happy times they had shared. Then the more recent time with Fernando and her desire to move forward and unable to due to guilt? What came next caught him unprepared as Alicia's fingers found his hair and entwined themselves there.

Alicia eventually broke the kiss, her heart was racing. She looked at Savar uncertain exactly where this moment was going, all she knew was she was feeling if he didn't stop her then things between them could quickly get out of control.

Savar's fingers left Alicia's temple, and he pulled back from her. He blinked once, twice before speaking. "Your thoughts have vivid clarity to them along with being vibrant and demonstrative Alicia. The bond between us has been made and is stable." He added.

Alicia nodded, she could vividly feel Savar's presence in her mind even though they were no longer sharing a mind meld. She could sense his thoughts, and feel his emotions. It was unlike anything she'd felt before, even with Kal. Even if she wanted to shut her mind to it she doubted she'd be able to.

Savar watched her closely for any adverse reaction to the bonding. "You are not in any physical or mental pain are you Alicia?" He asked concerned evident in his tone.

"No, I..." She paused. The connection had taken a lot out of her physically and mentally. She raised a hand to her head before practically toppling into him as she got unstable on her feet.

Savar caught her instantly. He picked her up easily and laid her back on the couch. "Lie still Alicia. The bonding has taken more from you than you realize. You need to lie still and rebuild your strength."

Alicia smiled a somewhat weak smile as she looked at Savar. "I think I...realise that now." She gave him a wry grin. "Look at us, just met and you're already sweeping me off my feet!" She gently took his hand. "After the last two years, I never thought I'd meet someone to care for so quickly."

He smiled at her joke. "Rest." Then he continued. "You do not regret the bonding do you Alicia? Not having second thoughts?" He asked.

"No, there's no regrets." She stifled a yawn. "I like being able...to feel you." Her eyes slowly closed as exhaustion took over. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

Savar watched Alicia sleep. She was the picture of loveliness. She needed to rest and rebuild her mental strength. The bond could be quite draining if one wasn't careful.

~ Timewarp! A couple of hours later ~

Alicia awoke opening her eyes to see Savar nearby. "Hey...how long have I been asleep?"

"Two hours, 16 minutes and 37 seconds." He answered as he rose and across the floor to be by her side. "How do you feel?"

She slowly sat up. "I've got a bit of a headache but I can still feel you, it's like...we're still in the mind meld even though we're not." She massaged her temples. "It's going to take a little getting used to, but I wouldn't change anything."

"My presence in your mind will lessen over time and thus become more manageable. You will still be able to 'feel' me but it will be much more manageable. Your headache will disappear as well."

Alicia nodded. "Savar, about what happened during the meld. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. The power of the emotions was overwhelming and I..." She gently reached out a hand and stroked his cheek. "I do find you attractive but I don't want to rush you. I didn't think I was ready to accept anyone else but I think this bonding has shown me that I am ready."

He shook his head, "Love. You did not make me uncomfortable. I am sorry for the pain you have endured. I never wish you to suffer like that again. I think you are most attractive Alicia and though we share a bond and it revealed much, I feel we must continue to learn about each other."

Alicia nodded. "I want to learn everything about you" She sat forward wondering whether she should go with her feelings or not, she threw caution to the wind and kissed him with all the passion she'd been feeling for him earlier.

He returned the kiss, kissing her hungrily. His lips peppering hers as his emotions finally were unleashed.

Alicia smiled the biggest smile yet as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Maybe...we should take this in the bedroom?" She ran her fingers along his pointed ears, hoping they were sensitive to her caress.

A truly beautiful smile appeared on his face. In reply to her question, he stood and scooped Alicia into his arms and headed for the bedroom.

[OFF]