Peg legs and pieces of eight

Posted on Tue May 19th, 2020 @ 7:19am by Lieutenant JG Miraj Derani & Lieutenant Commander S'hib
Edited on on Wed May 20th, 2020 @ 6:20am

Mission: Season 3: Episode 4: Cause and Effect
Location: USS Elysium Holodeck
Timeline: MD 05
4310 words - 8.6 OF Standard Post Measure

[ON]

In the last three days, Miraj had clocked up some 36 hours at conn. With just two FCO on board, they were both pulling long shifts. She needed a break, and some silliness in the holodeck was just what she needed.

The emptiness of the void wasn't affecting her as badly as some. She saw it as practice for the time, sometime in her future, when she finally got into the test pilot program as was flying ships between galaxies, not solar systems. The true void. But all work and no play made Jack a dull boy.

So now, in embroidered jacket, tight breeches and buckle shoes, cutlass and pistol in her belt, and complete with a fancy hat and a ridiculous feather, she swaggered off to the holodeck, every inch the image of a pirate king, humming a sea shanty to herself.

Finding the gyms to be far too crowded for his own liking S'hib had taken to simply running laps around the vast corridors of the Elysium, his hooves echoing loudly every half second as he made his way around the ship carrying a weighted bag on his back and a rifle in his arms.

Having already run many lengths of the vast vessel his bare chest was starting to lightly foam against the straps holding the bag in place, glad to be wearing nothing more than a short brown kilt.

"On your right!" He snorted, running passed Miraj only to come to a skidding halt, taken slightly aback by her flamboyant outfit. "Ensign?" He asked, his nostrils flaring with every pant.

Miraj had leapt to the side as he'd come charging past, and took a moment to straighten her costume out, setting the hat back at a jaunty angle. "Arrgh! I be a lowly deckscrubber!" then she laughed

S'hib just blinked slowly as he tried to process what he was seeing. "What?" he asked, a slightly nervous laugh behind his words as though unsure how to proceed.

Miraj laughed again. "I'm going to the holodeck. I'm going to play Bloodbeards Bounty ending again, its fun." She paused, wondering what the proprietary of it was. "Do you want to come? Be a pirate in the Golden Age of Piracy? There's canons, sword fights, revenge?"

"Do I get a silly hat as well?" S'hib smirked, resting the weight of his rifle over his shoulder.

"It's not a silly hat!" She protested. "It's fancy." She moved down to the holodeck doors, "And you can have one. I'm going to be playing Bloodbeard. Do you want to be Bloodbeard's first mate, Mr Sabatini; the ships seargeant-at=arms, Mr Staines; or Barnabas Bates, the master gunner?

Once again S'hib fell silent, nearly going crosseyed as Miraj listed off complete jibberish into his ears. "Uhh...yes?" He replied, his head falling to one side as he examined her outfit in more detail.

"Shoot things with pistols or shoot things with canons?" Miraj asked. "That's basically the difference between Staines and Bates. Staines also has an eye for the lads, but that won't really come into play here."

"Says who?" S'hib replied with a big grin, moving to catch up with Miraj. "Gimme the pistols, I'll at least know what I'm doing with those."

"Okay. You can be Staines." Miraj opened the holodeck and they went in. "Load program." She instructed it, and around them materialised the cabin of an old fashioned earth sailing ship. Square windows showed bright blue sea and sky beyond, and she crossed to a large sea chest. "The Hades is a barque, that means three masts with Square fore and main, then fore-and-aft, so you can dagger ride the front two masts." She pulled out a tricornered hat and a bandolier that was loaded with old fashioned earthen ball and powder pistols. "Everyone is going to treat you like a human, but I sized this for you so, extra pistols. No reload, just fire and forget."

"You didn't size the important things I see..." S'hib scoffed after putting his bag and rifle down, practically kneeling with his shoulders rubbing up against the wooden beams above him. "Why is this ship so small?" He neighed before taking the offered attire.

"Because the average male in 1714 was just one hundred sixty eight centimetres. We'll be out on deck in a minute. Then it won't matter." She peered into the sea chest. "Would you like a musket to start proceedings? Longer range. Good to about three hundred meters."

"You say that," He snorted, moving towards her to take the musket. "But my back will probably disagree with you."

She handed him a cutlass that was about half her height, sized for him. "You'll be fine. Just shoot anyone speaking french, and when you run out of pistols, start chopping."

"Aye... Captain?" S'hib replied leaning the musket against a nearby table, feeling somewhat conflicted to be using that rank casually; even if it was for a holostory. "I'll defend the Hades with my life." He snorted loudly, attaching the belt around his waist that housed the sheathed cutlass.

"No defense necessary, able seaman." She grinned, at him, completely comfortable with ancient rank. "Today is about attack. Soon, we'll see the Spectre de La Mer and kill or capture its captain, the dastardly Captain Luciene De Valle. That's the win condition. Computer, start program." Outside the cabin sprang up the sound of shouting, inside the creaking of timbers, and a rough voice shouted. "Sail Ho!"

"Sh'eeshk!" S'hib yelped with his deep Sequellian dialect, swearing fiercely as the boat suddenly rocked over a wave, flinging him into the cabin wall. "You knew this would happen... didn't you." He growled, struggling to keep himself stable as the boat swayed back and forth.

"No." She shook her head, "I guess you just need to get your sea legs." She straightened her fancy hat, and then stormed out of the cabin, slamming the double doors open. "Right you scabrous dogs! Let's get upon her starboard bow and send her to Old Hobb. Load chain, Mr Bates. Let's make it harder for 'em to run. Are your boarding crews ready Mr Staines?" She looked back at S'hib "That's you," she whispered.

"How do I know," He muttered quickly to himself, his hushed tone barely audible over the waves slamming into the wooden hull. "Well?" S'hib bellowed, stomping forward as he swung his hat onto his head in a theatrical arc. "Are ye ready men?!" He snorted loudly, placing his hands on his hips as the crew roared into a chorus of carnal rage, cheering enthusiastically for the coming battle.

"I assume that's a yes." He said quietly to Miraj, leaning his head towards her as he did so.

"Aye, it is." She raised her voice. "Now look there buckos," she gestured with her own cutlass towards the set of white sails they were rapidly drawing up on. "That there is de Valle's ship. And I promised you vengeance, so here it is. No parlay, no quarter. Get your killing in right quick me lads as they'll not hand about with theirs. Remember, surrender is a French word, not one the pirate brethren use!"

The assorted swarthy dogs, men in various stages of colour from sunburnt red to gold to dark brown and black cheered back with shouts of "Steel in the belly", "Down to Old Hobb!"

"Alright lads. Gunnery Master! Crews to their station, fire the bow chasers as soon as we're in range. Run out the sweeps! Let's give them sharp steel!"

"three hundred meters..." S'hib reminded himself, briefly examining the antique rifle as he approached the Port side of the Hades, eyeing up the approaching French vessel. "First one of you wet dogs that gets me that flag," He snorted loudly while pointing his musket up at the tall central mast, pausing briefly for dramatic effect. "Ye get double rations for a week!"

The sudden prospect of having a full belly seemingly worked the men up even further, with those with more sense slyly falling behind their brothers at arms... realising there would be no way they could climb the French rigging if they immediately got shot while boarding.

S'hib, however, turned back to Miraj, grinning madly as he tried to stay in character.

She gave him a thumbs up, striding up the deck to harague some sea dogs loading the small canons at the front. The Spectre de la mer was closer down, another large three masted ship, with huge rectangular sails straining to catch every inch of wind they could.

It wasn't enough. Five minutes of wind and surf spraying in their faces and they were in range of the bowchasers. The small canons barked, like loud fireworks, and spat a spray of shot and chain at the enemy ships rudder.

One of the windlasses that moved the enormous wooden rudder snapped and span away into the ocean with a plop. They couldn't keep the wind and began to slow further, giving the Hades time to come up on her starboard bow.

Miraj came back down the main deck, eying S'hib large ears. "You may want to cover your ears."

His head already ringing from the few canons that had already fired decided it would be best to head her warning, cupping his ears with his large equine hands.

Miraj put her hands over her own, and a second later the Hades full portside complement opened fire. Two dozen twenty four pound canons fired at once, and it sounded like a planet cracking open. Smoke from the gunpowder filled the air, obscuring the debris from shrapnel and splinters that whizzed past her face.

The sound was absurdly violent, feeling the shockwave in his bones as much as his ears as his hat was blasted off somewhere behind him.

"Did you disable the safeties?!" S'hib yelled, wondering if his ears had started to bleed. "That was a bit loud!" He protested, shaking his head and looking for his hat.

"No!" Miraj looked shocked. "Ships of War are lethal, why on earth would I do that?" The cannons fired, another deafening volley at the ship that was now maybe twenty feet away. She leaned to the left as a chunk of the Spectre de la Mer's rail shot past where she had been standing and embedded itself in the cabin walls behind them.

"It's a bit hard to tell!" He yelled back, nodding at the shot that missed her before shouldering his musket. The lengthy wooden frame swayed gently before falling in rhythm with the rock of the boat, moments later the barrel erupted with flame and a thick plume of white smoke, briefly obscuring the view of his intended target; but when the smoke cleared and he could no longer see the man with a strange hat he knew his aim had been true.

"Well, it supposed to look real," she said. The two ships were sliding closer together. "Get ready!" she whispered, stepping to the rail and grabbing a rope conveniently hanging there. "Prepare Boarding! No quarter!"

The battle cries from either side seemed impossibly loud, rivaling the blasts from the guns just moments before as men began to swing from ropes to both vessels.

S'hib watched as Miraj leapt into the fray with an almost gleeful expression across her face, distracted and slightly overwhelmed by the sight of all that was going on he didn't notice the two men land beside him, draw their swords and charge with an ear splitting cry for his blood.

The first man to get close was sent promptly back down onto the deck with an imprint of a musket stock over his broken nose. The second wasted no time and swung wildly with his sabre, his unskilled hand easily blocked by the musket, lodging the blade deep into the wooden frame before being twisted from his grasp and thrown overboard. "Should have stayed on your ship!" S'hib snorted loudly, backhanding the pistol that had barely been drawn in his direction, sending it skitting across the slick decking. "Ohh you know what, I got an idea!" He grinned as he grabbed the wildly smaller man by his wet uniform and heaved him up into the air with little effort "You can go find my rifle." He snorted, throwing over the railing and into the swirling waves between both vessels.

Miraj sailed over on the ten foot gap between the ships, screaming "Fight you scallywags!, Fight like the scabrous scum you are!" But she landed in an indecorous heap and had to scramble to her feet. She jumped up, saw a french tar coming at her and hastily pulled her pistol.

The shot would have gone wide if taken in real life. The Holodeck difficulties had been very generously dialled down to take into account her complete inability to shoot straight, as a result, she got the tar clear through the forehead. Throwing the useless gun to one side she drew her last remaining pistol and cutlass, and ran screaming into the fray.

Back on the Hades, the pirates were working hard to beat back the french sailors trying to take their ship. One of the enemy in a blue uniform stepped forward, pistol pointed right at S'hibs chest and pulled the trigger

The shot rang out and S'hib looked over at his assailant, the french sailor in disbelief that the pirate was still standing.

"If nobody else saw that," He grumbled as he unholstered a pistol and fired at the french sailor. "it doesn't count." He snorted before drawing his sword and moving in to defend the ship from the rest of the French sailors.

"Avast!" a voice behind him called. "Clear the shot, Staines, you big lummox."

"I'm not above friendly fire ya know!" S'hib shouted as he deflected a wide swing with his sword, stamping a hoof down onto his attacker's boot with a sickening wet crack; the man barely had time to register the pain and open his mouth before a large Sequus hand was muffling his scream and tossing him several feet across the deck.

"So watch your mouth!" He snorted angrily, unaware of how much fun he was having being able to throw his weight around with abandon.

"Suit yourself," the voice shouted back. There was a loud blast, though nowhere near as deafening as the large canons, and a handful of tiny balls sailed past his chest. The grapeshot spread and neatly shredded three charging Frenchmen before they could gang up on S'hib.

Miraj turned from deck of the Spectre de la mer, saw the Sequus hip deep in the french navy and even though he was probably too far to hear she gave him a big thumbs up, "Wooo! That's the spirit! Stick em with the pointy end!" She went to swing her cutlass in emphasis, slipped on the blood stained deck, and fell flat on her arse.

Back on the Hades the last few french sailors were retreating, attempting to flee back to the supposed safety of their ship as the two vessels ground against one another, splintering wood and churning up the sea violently between them.

"Chase the cowards!" S'hib cheered as he removed another pistol from his bandolier and fired, catching a man in the back as he leapt across the gap, sending him down into the swirling depths between the two ships.

With a roar, the remaining crew who hadn't yet boarded charged the gunwales, grabbing grappling hooks and casting them over to the enemy ship. As they hauled themselves close enough to board, they were then jumping, swinging leaping over the gap to take the battle to the enemy.

Miraj jumped to her feet, hoping no-one had seen her embarrassing stumble. She was disappointed. Stalking menacingly towards her through the smoke and flying shrapnel was Captain de Valle, his dark blue frock coat swishing around like the wings of a demon. Miraj swallowed. This was always a bitch of a boss fight. She looked over her shoulder, trying to see where S'hib had got too.

"Ah, you're still alive, good." S'hib shouted proudly, now stood where Captain de Valle had been just moments ago, having kicked him across the deck while swinging aboard the French vessel. "Who we after again?" He questioned as de Valle got back to his feet, snarling madly at the slight to his honor.

"The froggy who be glarin' at ye!" Miraj pointed out. "He's lookin' for some satisfaction now."

De Valle started forward again, pistol raised. Miraj pulled her second pistol from her belt and shot at him, but even the easy settings refused to compensate for hasty aim and the ball went wide. The enemy captain smirked at her and then fired at S'hib.

S'hib glanced to his left upon hearing the pistol fire, then back to Miraj before throwing his arms up in frustration. "Oh no..." He snorted before falling to the deck as slowly as possible. "I'm dead now."

Miraj looked down in surprise "Why are you down there? He didn't even hit you - Crap!" De Valle had closed the distance and had drawn his cutlass, swinging hard and forcing Miraj to dodge away or get cut.

"Surrender, Bloodbeard!" De Valle said in an French accent so atrocious that if it got any more hammy it would oink. "I'm killing your men, and I'll scuttle ze 'Ades. Surrender and I'll let your crew live." He pressed her back towards the rail of the poop deck.

Miraj did her best to beat off his blows and she could do nothing but retreat. She looked over to where S'hib was corpsing on the ground. "Uh, a little help please!"

S'hib muttered something to himself as he slowly got back up to his hooves, taking a long moment to reorientate his hat and bandolier as Miraj struggled with the captain. "I guess ye aim be a little bit off Luciene." He snorted with a mischievous smile while throwing a pistol to the floor between them both, It's frame warped and twisted by a solid iron ball still stuck in its side.

"Shall we see if mine is as well?" He said lowly, his voice dripping with ill intent as he unholstered a pistol and clicked back the hammer.

La Valle's eyes went wide. With a flourish of his blade, he turned Miraj's cutlass aside, twisted her arm around her back and spun her in front of him. "Will you shoot your capitaine, Monsieur Staines?"

"Shoot him!" Miraj said instantly, wincing at the pain in her shoulder, and not thinking through for a moment what would happen if S'hib missed. "Never surrender!"

Rolling his eyes at the theatrics on display S'hib simply lowered his aim and fired, hitting the dastardly Captain in his foot. "Damn it, I was aiming for your foot." He frowned, pointing his spent pistol at Miraj as the French Captain squirmed about on the deck.

La Valle howled and fell back. Miraj turned and took advantage to kick him in the balls with abandon. Le Valle howled again, just a couple of octaves higher. "What do you mean you were aiming for my foot?" She asked incredulously.

"In a hostage situation they never expect you to actually shoot the hostage," S'hib stated, his security training bypassing anything that could be conceived as Fun.

"Obviously I didn't have a phaser so a non lethal shot to you would open him up to be taken down." He added, crossing his arms across his chest.

Miraj kicked La Valles cutlass to one side, and stamped on his groin again for good measure. "You were going to shoot me? Remind me to never ask you for a rescue."

"Come now, Captain... I think you'd look good with a peg leg." S'hib grinned, though wincing somewhat at her abuse of the poor man's balls.

"hmph." Miraj said, unconvinced. She swung her cutlass to point straight at the French captains throat. "Surrender, La Valle. I have you, and your ship!"

The Frenchman looked around, finally glaring at S'hib and Miraj. "I would have covered you in gold!" he cursed at S'hib. Then he turned to Miraj. "I surrender."

Miraj squealed with joy. "Huzzuh, I win. Mr Staines, please strike their colours!"

S'hib simply blinked as he attempted to comprehend what she just said. "Uh, do what now?"

Miraj gestured vaguely towards the blue and yellow fleur de lys flag at the top of the mainmast, careful to keep La Valle at sword point. "Bring down their flag. Shows all the seamen that their captain is defeated and they're our prisoners."

"You want me to climb?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips as he craned his long neck back to see all the way to the top. "Up there? with hooves..." S'hib said as his head snapped back looking wholly unimpressed.

"No, cut the rope at the bottom, and pull. It will come straight down." Miraj poked La Valle with her sword just for fun. "Then run out the gangplank, we're going to send La Valle here for a little walk."

"Good, I hate climbing..." S'hib snorted as he moved towards the central mast and swung his sword, leaving it stuck in the finely oiled wood as he pulled the flag down enthusiastically. "You heard the Captain!, get the plank into position!" He shouted, at the men crowded idly around them, hurrying them into action.

In a few minutes, the guns had gone silent, and the remaining french seaman were lined up on the deck, on their knees, to watch their Captain walk the plank. The plank itself stuck out of the Spectre's gunwales over the deep blue sea.

"On your feet, LA Valle." Miraj poked him again. When he didn't move fast enough she gave him a kick. He moved reluctantly onto the board, limping along on his shot and bleeding foot.

He paused at the end. his injured foot dripping blood into the water below. A sleek grey fin broke the surface for a moment, and then disappeared

"You will regret zis, Bloodbeard." La Valle said, "Ze French will not rest until they hunt you down and 'ang you like ze dog you are!"

"I may see you in hell, La Valle," Miraj replied. "But you'll be saving me a seat. Hurry him up, Mr Staines. Our friend down there be getting hungry."

S'hib snatched a sword from another sailors hand before prodding it into La Valles back, walking along the plank behind him wondering if this sort of thing really happened on earth. "Ohh, Valley of broken hearts..." S'hib bellowed, breaking out in song as he pushed the man in front of him further to his inevitable death. How cold your shadow can be, He continued, his deep voice filled with sorrow as he pushed the man towards the edge of the plank, felling the rest of the crew silent as the watched and listened.

Ohh, Valley of broken hearts, here lie one more shadow for the... He said as his sword pushed into La Valles back, tipping him off the edge of the plank.

There was a splash, a churning of water, a bubbling scream, and then red bloomed upon the surface and all that was left of Captain La Valle was his fancy hat, sodden feather and all, floating on the waves.

The crew of Hades rushed to the sides, saw their foe thoroughly vanquished, and a massive cheer went up. The crew roared and hugged and then the computer froze. Miraj grinned at S'hib. "What do you think, me bucko?" She asked him "Would ye come on account with me again, a free man before the mast? Or would ye go back to the life of kissing the gunners daughter, paid for with a Kings Shilling?"

"Ah, well... someone has to make sure you don't get yourself killed I suppose." S'hib grinned as he padded back off the plank.

When he stepped back on deck, everything began to dissolve back down to the holodeck's grid. S'hib's giant pistols and cutlass and fancy hat disappeared, leaving him in his kilt and Miraj in her pirate get up. "Pfft. I don't get killed. I usually play the cabin boy. Nothing bad ever happens to him." She took off her own fancy hat, "What were you singing, sir? Just before we sent La Valle to Old

S’hib was silent for a moment as he moved towards his backpack and rifle. “It's an old song my people sometimes sing when mourning for someone who has no herd, It is rare but when it happens they are buried in the valley of broken hearts... I’ve never seen it myself but it is said to be the coldest place on all of Sequella.”

"Sounds...lonely," Miraj replied. "On Earth, and on Cort, where Boslics come from, many sailors get buried away from their ... herds. They get disposed of at sea, given to Mother Ocean, and nothings colder than her depths. Seems cold is the fate of all those who choose a buccaneers life, whatever world they come from."

"Dying typically is a lonely affair, even with company," S'hib replied with a sombre tone as he lifted his bag onto his shoulder. "That's why nobody gets buried alone on Sequella, that way they always have someone on the other side who understands."

"That's very sweet." Miraj smiled. "Bittersweet, but still sweet." there was silence. "Anyway. The new Bloodbeard isn't out for a bit. Do you fancy a go when it comes?"

"Only if you play the Cabin boy." S'hib grinned with a wicked glint in his eye.

"Deal." Miraj grinned. "Though I'll miss the fancy hat."

OFF:

Lieutenant S'hib
Security Officer
USS Elysium

Ensign Miraj Derani
Asst. CFCO
USS Elysium