Mind Your Animal Pt. 2
Posted on Thu Jul 21st, 2022 @ 1:36am by Commander Kyle Reece & Commander Arrianna Salannis an Vantar
Mission:
MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: USS Talleyrand
Timeline: Nine Years Ago
740 words - 1.5 OF Standard Post Measure
The Cat snuck into the jefferies tubes and was now hiding there from the cadets searching the ship endlessly for him. One cadet, a certain Kyle Reece was getting close to poor old Mr. Fluffums.
Kyle was moving slowly through the Jeffries Tube. If the cat was nearby, he didn't want to startle it.
The Cat started growling at Kyle as he moved closer. Growling and hisses came. The little beasty was rearing up to charge Kyle.
Kyle heard the animal. He froze where he was and spoke into the open commbadge channel. "Found him. Deck three, tube junction seven, port aft quarter. Launching bait now." He tossed up several small baggies filled with catnip.
In what only can be described as a flurry and a whirlwind of white fluff and claws, The cat unleashed itself on Kyle. Sounds of feline growling and madness could be heard in the jefferies tube.
Kyle had been ready. As soon as the cat leapt at him, he stunned it with a Type One hand phaser, set to its lowest setting. After it was unconscious, He carefully picked it up by the scruff of its neck, to ensure it behaved if it awoke before he could get it back in its carrier.
---
Arrianna stood with Cadet Reece as she delivered the Carrier to the Admiral. "Your Animal.... Sir...." She noted with a voice that showed her confusion about this pet custom.
In a burst of excitement, Admiral Trogar squealed happily, "MISTER FLUFFUMS!!" He quickly moved over to the pair of cadets and practically snatched the carrier from them. Moving back, he gently placed the carrier on a nearby table and opened it, reaching in and taking hold of the feline. He then brought it into a loving cradel in his arms. "Mister Fluffums! I am so glad that you're home safe! You were a very naughty little boy for scaring Daddy like that!" He softly admonished the cat as he gently stroked its fur.
"Mreow..." was the only reply Mister Fluffums made in his defense.
The Admiral Spoke. "Wait!!! This isn't my cat!!!" He threw down the carrier with a lout youling sound from the cat.
Kyle looked confused. "Sir?"
Doryan spoke. "Get back there and find that cat."
---
Arrianna continued to trace down the failure in the internal sensor grid. She sighed as she spoke to Kyle. "That infuriating animal."
Kyle was still trying to figure out the mistake. "On a shipful of cadets and Instructors, how many cats can there be here?"
Arrianna spoke. "Well now. Considering this ship is approximately six hundred meters in length, four hundred in width, and three hundred in height... One could fit approximately two thousand Felis Cattus animals on this ship.
Kyle paused and gave the young woman an odd look. "Really, Arri?" He guffawed. "I wasn't meaning it literally. I meant, how many cadets could possible own and posses a cat on board. I know I don't have the space to have one." He chuckled softly.
"I can tell you this, Kyle.." Arrianna noted. "I do believe someone might be playing us. And I believe the person responsible for such a deed is sitting on the bridge right now." The Alindari was not amused, but then again, She was one of the few people on the ship that had the courage to stand up to Doryan Kox.
Kyle gave her an incredulous look. "You think the Captain is messing with us? For what reason?
Arrianna spoke. "I do not know... keep up the search, Kyle. I think it is about time to get the internal sensors back online."
Kyle shrugged slightly. "Alright." He then quickly stole a glance all around them, before reaching out and pulling Arrianna against his chest. "Later, when this is all sorted, I'd very much like to search for your scream of ecstasy." He leaned in and kissed her passionately.
Arri smiled and began kissing Kyle. "You know.. A Cat...." She kissed him some more. "Is a cat... You humans are so... Irrational." She kissed him more.
Kyle chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. "Perhaps, bit it's one of the things you love about this human." He then kissed her again and released his hold.
As he started to head off on his search for the Admiral's cat, he looked back, a grin forming on his lips. "Tonight." He then turned and entered the nearest turbolift.
~OFF~
By Captain Samuel Woolheater on Sat Jul 23rd, 2022 @ 4:57pm
Well.
The title suggests, perhaps, a lil' Skin-a-Max JP is here. But the title wrote a check that the rest of the post didn't cash.
Now, one understands that the characters depicted here are young cadets. And as cadets are prone to...industrious designs in their solutions to problems.
However, this is what we call, in the business, a 'creampuffed tease'. The 'RC Cola' when one has clearly ordered a 'Coke'. Are we really to believe that one Arrianna Salannis an Vantar, storied author of recent entries like, "Kintsugi - An Arrianna and Josephine Subplot" got the wrong cat? No sir. We do not believe that. In the words of the great Dr. Seuss, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” We do not believe for one moment that someone who turns new crew members into cimmanon buns would locate the wrong cat.
Now, we cast a cold eye concerning this Kyle Reece character. From the Reece clan ay? The tough as nails, steel bonded Reece. With a family record of note that goes on for pages? The Frank Sinatra of the showers and Headmaster of the dang-o onboard Academy is outwitted by Captain X? Crawls through a Jeffries tube you say? With catnip? And then stuns a wee creature and carries it out of the tube like a ham hoagie that has gone bad? Balderdash. No sir, this is not the Kyle Reece that commands the respect of students and the whistles of chicks in every port. Poppycock. Did you really think that we, your dear audience, would accept a, oh how do you put it? Ah yes, here its is, 'Mister Fluffums?' I should think not sir, daft you must be if you think that will be. No sir.
In the words of our dear Clint Eastwood, “Are you going to pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?” We look forward to 'Mind Your Animal Part 3' with anticipation. Where is our mad scientist? And where is gruff and tumble Reece? We thank you for the post; for the entertainment - but we send it back forthwith; postage due. :)