The Promise

Posted on Sun Jul 31st, 2022 @ 10:54am by Lieutenant Commander Rin

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Rin's quarters
708 words - 1.4 OF Standard Post Measure

Rin lay on her couch, staring up at the ceiling.

“Computer, begin recording.”

There were a lot of things tumbling through her head right now. Sometimes talking it out loud helped. If nothing else, she could go back to the recordings later.


“34 years ago, I made a promise,” she started.

“I don’t remember making the promise. I don’t remember the people I made the promise too. I’m no longer a part of the faith within which I made that promise. But I promised I would stay involved in the lives of two children, help them grow, and care for them if something happened to their parents.

“Then we all died.

“And then, eventually, I clawed my way back to the land of the living. I returned from the dead, a phrase I suspect previous, religious me would consider a tad blasphemous.

“And then so did the kids, except they’re not kids anymore. They never got to be kids. They progressed directly from infancy into a nightmare adulthood. I’ve never met anyone who went through that until now.

“They asked me to keep my promise, to be family. Promise or not, I would have supported them: share wisdom, provide support, remind them they aren’t alone. But they asked me to be family.

“The crew of the Elysium wants to see us all as one big family, but we’re not. Not to me, anyway. They’re my co-workers. Some of them are my friends. One is a close friend. But they’re not family.

“For a long time, Ebi and the others were the closest thing I had to family. I’m still not sure how to label those relationships and don’t see any urgent need to do so. We are what we are to each other.

“James I would call family. I feel different around him than anyone else, from the first time we met – or re-met – I’ve felt safe around him. But there’s little I can do to return all of the favors he has done for me. He supports me and I keep bringing him pain. Which family sometimes does, but I wish I didn’t.

“But with 2 and 4 of 7, I can care for them. I want to care for them. And I think they can return the favor, at least in time. Or maybe they already had, in asking for me to be family to them.

“But what really makes them family? The fact that they are xB? I don’t feel this way toward any other xB.

“That they’re from my past? James is from my…”

Rin paused, thinking through the thought that went through her head.

“James is family. 2 and 4 of 7 are family. People from my past, people who knew Nicola, they’re family. The identity I keep running away from because I can’t remember it. That’s where I find my family.

“Why don’t I form those same kind of attachments now? I can’t say it’s because I haven’t known anyone here long enough: Nicola – me - only knew the twins for a matter of months.

“Is it because we have words for those relationships? To James I am the former wife. To the twins I’m godmother.

“Mother.

“I’m a mother.

“That feels really weird to say.

“I kind of like it, although it scares me half to death. Although I suppose that’s what mothers do.

“Maybe I should try to remember more of Nicola. Maybe she’d be less scared of all this. I don’t know how to do that. Maybe let myself dream again, tough it out when the nightmares come. I could do that for the twins, yes? Still feels counter-intuitive, considering they don’t remember me either.

“But we can make new memories, ones that don’t come with nightmares.

“Funny how much power a forgotten promise has.”

Rin sighed. She felt a bit like she was rambling, although that was kind of the point: get all the words inside her head out in the open. She’d listen to it again tomorrow, see what else might crop up. But now it was time for bed.

“Computer, end recording.”

 

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