"Now or Never"

Posted on Tue May 21st, 2024 @ 4:29am by Lieutenant Tate Sullivan Ph.D.

Mission: Season 6 HIATUS
Location: Tate Sullivan's Office, Counseling Department, USS Elysium
534 words - 1.1 OF Standard Post Measure

The events of the past week have left me with a swirl of emotions that I find difficult to untangle. Our escape from the Thaih'ea system was nothing short of miraculous, a testament to the ingenuity and bravery of our crew. It was especially gratifying to witness the rescue of those who otherwise would have had no hope, particularly the children. They deserve an opportunity to live their lives free from fear and oppression. Their laughter and innocence are reminders of why we fight, why we put ourselves in harm's way.

Seeing their smiles as they boarded the Elysium filled me with a profound sense of accomplishment and joy. Those moments of pure, unadulterated happiness are the ones we hold onto, especially in the face of the inevitable losses we suffer. And yet, no matter how much I wish otherwise, success in our mission did not come without a heavy price. We lost several pilots during the evacuation, and their sacrifice weighs heavily on my heart.

I deeply admire the courage of our pilots. They are among the most valiant members of our crew, facing danger head-on with a resolve that is both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking. As a counselor, I struggle at times to know how best to support them. They bear the brunt of our most perilous missions, making them some of the most vulnerable individuals aboard the Elysium. Their resilience is extraordinary, yet I am acutely aware of the emotional and psychological toll their duties can take.

Thoughts of vulnerability bring me back to the fragility of life and how fleeting our existence is in the grand scheme. Each mission, each confrontation with danger, reinforces this reality. More than ever, I am beginning to realize that I want more than just an epitaph that reads: "Here lies Tate Sullivan. She was a good therapist." While I love my work and find immense fulfillment in helping others navigate their emotional landscapes, I am starting to understand that my identity cannot be confined solely to my profession.

There is so much more I want to experience and achieve. Personal connections, adventures beyond the confines of duty, and a deeper exploration of who I am outside of my role as a counselor are calling to me. This realization doesn't diminish my commitment to my work or to Starfleet; rather, it enriches my understanding of what it means to live a full and meaningful life.

As I reflect on the events in the Thaih'ea system, I am reminded of the duality of our existence—the joy and the sorrow, the triumphs and the losses. Each day aboard the Elysium is a gift, an opportunity to make a difference, but also a reminder to cherish every moment. I owe it to myself and to those we have lost to live fully, to embrace the myriad experiences life has to offer.

In the end, it is this balance that I strive for: to be the best counselor I can be, while also seeking out the personal fulfillment that makes life truly worthwhile. And maybe, just maybe, my epitaph will reflect a life lived with purpose, compassion, and a boundless curiosity for all that the universe has to offer.

 

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