How To Not Embarrass Yourself As A Diplomat

Posted on Fri Mar 13th, 2026 @ 8:55am by Consul Josephine Carlyle-Cragen & Legate Andrinn Orin & Civilian Teevs Dosivi & Major Mattias Richardson [Reece] & Captain Joshua Young [Taylor] & Consul Sariel Thane

Mission: Interlude
Location: Diplomatic suite
Timeline: Between missions, ~2.5 weeks before arrival to Niea IV
2657 words - 5.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Teevs swallowed as he entered the diplomatic suite with some datapads. Why was he nervous? This species, his species, was the one he knew the most about. Perhaps his nerves came from knowing that if something went wrong in negotiations, he shouldered a lot of the blame.

Orin saw Teevs walk through the main entrance into the diplomatic suites and he gave Teevs a smile before saying, "Well, Teevs. What can we do for you? Am I missing a meeting time with you? Did the Commodore send you down cause I missed a briefing? Want to fill me in on something?"

"Mister Orin, how are you?" Teevs greeted, returning the smile. After the Galtonian attack and the discussion with Phoenix a couple days ago, the ship had begun its steady trudge toward the next destination, Teevs' homeworld. He knew that information was gradually making its rounds amongst the crew, as he had already been approached with questions, like which beaches he recommended. "If you weren't already aware, we're headed for my homeworld to let the crew rest, but it is also an opportunity to replenish ship resources and get some repair work done. If your team has a moment, whenever is convenient, the commodore asked me to share information to help any negotiations run smoothly. She mentioned not wanting any 'diplomatic gaffs.'"

"Definitely sounds like a good idea. Want to come with me and take a seat in the diplomatic conference room? I can gather all the diplomats and the DPT to make sure the arrangements go off without a hitch," Orin said as he smiled and offered the way to one of the nearby conference lounges.

With a nod, Teevs followed Orin to the conference lounge. From there, he put the datapads on the table and began to organise them while the newly promoted legate went to retrieve the others. Some of the data contained behaviours and expectations for interacting with his species, others pertained to security and what was and wasn't allowed on the planet.

Josephine came in with a large mug of coffee. She took her seat as she nodded at Teevs and Orin.

Sariel Thane entered next. He looked tired but he was in one peice. They had all been helping with repairs.

Newly minted marine captain Joshua Young entered next. He looked around and saw the Major Richardson hadn't arrived yet. Nodding at the gathered diplomats he spoke politely, evenly. " Gentlemen and lady." He greeted them.

As if on cue, the equally newly-promoted, Major Richardson, stepped into the suite, reading over a few readiness reports. "Hello everyone." He gave a nod to Josh and said, "Captain Young." He gave his friend a warm grin. "Has a nice ring to it, kid."

Josh grinned broadly at his friend and mentor. "Thank you, Major Richardson. That has a nice ring as well sir."

Mattias chuckled softly. "If i keep getting promoted, I might one day outrank my wife...at least outside of our home," he said just loud enough for Josh to hear, as of the group present, he knew Phoenix and Mattias the best.

"Good luck with that plan sir." Josh bantered back. "I don't hold out a high degree of success for it. But hope does spring eternal sir."

The older Marine smiled and chuckled. He knew his young friend and protégé had had a rough time as of late. He just hoped that Josh was doing the steps that the councilors had taught him, to keep from spiraling back down in the destructive darkness he had been in a couple months ago. Knowing how trauma could screw with a person's head from personal experience, Mattias has already vowed to do everything he could to support his young friend and brother Marine.

After the bear that the thought needed to grow, register and get filed in his mind had passed, Mattias grinned even broader, as he reached out and playfully grabbed the back of Josh's head, as he whispered, "Ya know, kid...If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were placing odds on getting my job." He winked and released Josh, the contact something that one only found when two warriors had bled together in combat.

Josh grinned at the older marine and his friend. "Oh no sir. I am content to bide my time and learn from you all while I watch you tiptoe through the minefield around you." He whispered back enjoying the banter he and Mattias were involved in. Josh had nothing but respect and admiration for Mattias as well as his support he had given when Anna had died.

This caused Nattias to chortle aloud. Playfully punching Josh in the upper left arm, as he responded. "I knew it! You're nothing but an opportunistic power climber, waiting for me to fall, so you can just step in and take command." He chuckled again as he finished speaking. "I may be the old man here, Josh, but just remember, You're trying to get to where I've been."

Once everyone was gathered, Teevs gave them a welcoming smile. “Thank you for your attendance,” he began. Ugh, why did he sound so formal?? It wasn’t like him, which was probably an indicator of just how nervous he was. Selecting datapads from his organised pile, he distributed them around the room. “I’ve created some guidelines for interacting with my people during any negotiations. The government has four Houses: administration, diplomatic relations, culture and innovation, and security and defense. The current heir to the Second House is Lady Emeyr, and either her or her court will likely handle communications with the ship.”

Mattias spoke up first. "What do we need to know about delegation security measures? What will they allow us to do in our jobs of keeping our ambassadors safe?"

“The Royal Guard will allow a security detail in the government buildings, but you will have to submit a request to carry any weapons, and if approved they will be inspected as you enter,” Teevs answered, passing off the more security-oriented information to him. “They will defer to the delegate's security detail in most cases. It’s really only in emergency situations where they may provide instruction, but it's because they have their own procedures to follow. Even then, you were chosen to protect your delegate and they recognise that."

"You said Heir." Josephine said softly. "Is there a royal family structure?"

Teevs nodded to Josephine. "Sort of. Each House is run by a family, and the throne is passed to the daughter who proves she can carry the family legacy. But they aren't royalty in the way I have read Humans to understand the term. The term is more..." his nose scrunched as he tried to think of the phrase, "... something carried from the past. A relic of the ancient government. The families can be overthrown, but it's very uncommon, on average every sic-uhs or so generations."

In his efforts to try and train his tongue for their languages, he figured out that if he broke down the sounds that made up that pesky letter x, he could get away with a decent pronunciation. The first words he worked on were 'six' and 'galaxy', the two words he ended up saying quite regularly to his surprise.

"So we will need to be cautious there too." Josephine said. She had spent time at the Court of St James under Charles the Second on Earth. "We do not need to get dragged into such things."

"Almost sounds a little bit like the houses of Betazed. They have these royal houses that....aren't so royal anymore. I think the best example is the Fifth House there. One Deanna Troi's mother presides over it....lovely woman....." Orin said as he thought about his personal interactions with Lwaxanna Troi, ambassador to the Federation and total thorn in anyone's behind.

Reading over the information that Teevs had provided, Mattias was s bit apprehensive as to how stringent the native security force will be about his team's weapons. He made a mental note to double check everything and ensure his team was ready for any contingency.

"I can understand how that sounds, but things have been fairly stable since the Second House was overthrown three generations ago," Teevs pointed out. "The likelihood of something like that happening during your visit is incredibly low." He paused before adding, "if it eases any concerns, the Fourth House of defense and security is well prepared to defend the planet if anything were to happen. Remember that my planet is a significant trading hub in the sector; the standing relationships with other species are practically sacred, that's how important they are, so any security measures in place protect visitors as much as they do citizens."

Orin chuckled and said, "I just know our Capt....Major Richardson likes to plan for everything. He just wants to cross every T and dot every I before any of the diplomats go down to a new place. Also, sorry Major. I'm still getting used to the new ranks of everyone. I'm so used to saying captain."

Mattias grinned over at Orin. "No worries, Sir. I wouldn't be any good at my job if I didn't go over every detail of the the safety for the diplomats we have aboard here with a microscope. And, congratulations on your promotion as well. Of course," he paused to grin widely as ge continued, "If it would make things easier for you, instead of working about ranks, just call me God, and all will work out in the end." He chuckled after a few quiet seats, to show that he was kidding....possibly.

"Whatever you say, Major. I'll make sure to listen to what you and Teevs say about everything. Cause, this is his homeworld. Wouldn't want to make a bad first impression," Orin replied with a chuckle.

As they talked, Teevs used the opportunity to pass around another set of datapads. He wasn't sure what Mattias would find with a microscope, though... there wasn't any hidden text to uncover. "I also prepared some of the things you'll need to know when talking directly to Lady Emeyr. I know it's a lot, but I would rather give too much information than not enough."

On the datapads, there was a list:

- Direct eye contact can be seen as posturing. Try to avoid direct eye contact if possible.
- Always address the Throne as "your Grace" unless told to say something different. It's a sign of respect.
- Do not address the Throne's court unless her Grace has invited it (like first introductions, escorting, offering services, etc). The discussion is between the diplomats and the Throne, and the court has their respective jobs to do.
- If offered a beverage, be humble. Don't order anything fancy or extravagant.
- Lonians tend to interpret things literally, so avoid idioms, slang, etc., to avoid misinterpretations.
- Do not sit before the Throne sits. This is a sign of respect.
- Give the formal Lonian greeting (arms crossed in an x shape in front of the chest, hands facing outward). This is a sign of respect.
- The phrase "with permission from her Grace" is the formal way to make a request or ask permission to speak freely. It recognises and respects the Throne's time.
- Do NOT do what Humans call 'flicking'. It is an offensive gesture.

Orin looked over the information and asked, "First of all, flicking? I've got questions. Especially to what it means cause I've got five different ideas of what it could mean. Secondly, don't tell the leadership that I have butterflies in my stomach or they might be worried, correct?"

Remembering their conversation about idioms, Teevs chuckled. "Yeah, that would be wise. And nothing about cookies crumbling from trees. As for the gesture, I usually see it when someone on board is trying to remove something from clothing, for instance." He demonstrated the hand gesture for Orin.

"Yeah, that would probably scare the locals, wouldn't it?" Orin replied towards Teevs, as they had a discussion about it before.

Teevs nodded in response. "It could, or at the very least be taken the wrong way. The commodore was very clear about making sure this goes smoothly."

"Very clear on that part. Now, what can you tell me about this arm thing....cause I want to make sure that I do it right," Orin asked Teevs, as he looked over all of the information again.

With a nod, Teevs walked them through the formal greeting, making sure to move slowly so they could follow along. He crossed the right right arm over the left to make the x shape. "The history behind it is meant to show that you are unarmed. I believe the Human handshake has a similar historic meaning? And hands facing outward, like this," he demonstrated, "showed the other person that you weren't hiding something in your palms. Symbolically, it shows good faith."

Mattias mirrored the greeting, as he said, "We also had another greeting tradition, which primarily stayed with the military forces of Earth. During the Medieval Era, when warriors would wear full-body plate mail, when two warriors would meet, and not fighting one another, they would lift up their face guard with their right hand," he simulated this maneuver, grabbing the bottom of an imaginary face mask, then rotating his right clockwise at the wrist. "Later, the military kept this tradition, and it became the salute, which the junior personnel would render to any officer of higher rank, out of respect. The senior individual would then returned the salute." He then snapped to attention and offered Teevs a crisp, textbook United States military salute, where the tips of his index and ring fingers of his right hand were pressed to his right eyebrow, the palm of his hand facing his face, his hand rigid, with his fingers all straight and touching, his forearm vent at a forty-five degree angle at the elbow, and his upper arm at a ninety degree angle from his body.

After a couple beats, he lowered the salute just as sharply as he had raised it. "The right hand was used in this method, as every knight was trained to use their sword with their right hand and their shield with their left. So, not only did the reveal themselves to the other knights, they showed that they were unarmed."

The motion was so sharp that Teevs thought Mattias was going to pull something. "That is an interesting history, Major Richardson." Human gestures were still so bizarre to him. First a handshake, which is obviously reaching for something, and now a gesture that looks like one is shielding their eyes from the sun? Teevs tried it for his own curiosity, though it wasn't nearly as crisp as what the other man had done. He relaxed as he commented, "if you get the time, I would recommend the history museum in Pomei. I think it would interest you."

Looking around at the others, Teevs asked, "any other questions? We have just over two weeks, and I am happy to meet as often as needed."

"No, just prayers, Mr. Teevs. This is my first diplomatic meeting with your species and thus, I want to make sure it's spotless. So, here's to making sure it goes smoothly," Orin said with a smile.

"Trust me, Mister Orin, your spots won't affect the meeting. Your ship's diversity is one of its strengths, so do keep them on," Teevs insisted.

Orin just chuckled and replied, "I'll definitely make sure to keep the spots on for the trip, I assure you Mr. Teevs. But, thank you for that. We do have some good people onboard! That's why I'm glad we get to meet your people and get to know even more good people."

OFF