Ups and Downs

Posted on Mon Nov 14th, 2022 @ 8:46am by Lieutenant Etrara Khalten & Commander Sthilg & Lieutenant Commander Alicia Kelea-Salik & Lieutenant JG Zac Smithson

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Sickbay
2047 words - 4.1 OF Standard Post Measure

Etrara sighed, she wished she was safe in bed in either her own or Zac’s quarters where it was quiet and they could talk but, yet here she was having yet another transfusion. She had asked the nurse if she could see Commander Sthilg, it was him she trusted and felt relaxed with. She had woken that morning to find her fingers on her right hand would of respond and she was unable to feel them. She lay back feeling light headed once again but felt better now Zac had promised to get some much needed sleep. She closed her eyes and then opened them quickly as she felt the disorientation more with them closed.

The pattern of Sthilg footsteps announced his arrival as he stepped into the ward. Giving a nod to the duty nurse he picked up a stool and placed it next to the sleeping patient. " Why did you do it you sssilly girl." he said heartbrokenly as his arm turned into it's scanner as he ran it over her. " What part of my door isss alwaysss open don't you underssstand."

She opened her eyes to see the kind eyes of the Chief Physician looking at her and suddenly she felt embarrassed. “It’s a long but rather abrupt story if that makes sense. I made a very bad mistake. I hurt Zac whom I love very much and I also hurt a lovely man, I tried to sleep with him and of course I ended up trying to kill him. Then I told him I didn’t, couldn’t have a relationship with him which, I know he wanted. But then I suppose you heard all about it?” She looked away. “I wanted, want to die, I tried the rite of ritual suicide but couldn’t even do that properly. Of all people Zac found me.” She lifted her hand and shook it, “Now I can’t move my fingers and, if I cannot hold a weapon thenI am doubly useless.”

The gorn ran through his mind what to do. He'd encountered Klingons who had done this before in his long service in the KDF. The idea he'd used before came into his mind. Maybe it would work this time. " No. You failed the ritual because the barge isn't ssstopping for you just yet Etrara. You ssstill have a long and fulfilling life to lead and your ancestors know it." He said preparing what he'd told countless Klingons who had tried and failed the ritual. " Now asss your chief doctor jussst lay back and let me take a look at your hand else you end up with the metal monssstrosssity I have."

He worked quietly and she could feel his touch. “I failed because I am not a true Klingon.” She saw Zac returning, “please do not say anything to him.”

Just then Zac came back. He had taken a short nap but couldn't sleep, he was concerned about Etrara. He stopped when he entered Etrara's room and saw the CMO there. "Oh! Excuse me! I didn't know you were here sir." He apologetically.

" No need to appolgissse Zac. Come in" Sthilg said without looking around his eyes focused on his work.

Zac came further into the room. "Are you sure sir? I can wait outside while you talk to Etrara." He offered, though in his heart he wanted to be there for Etrara to always be there for her, to never have her worry about being alone, that he would always be there and always love her.

“You didn’t get much sleep my love, that much I can see and I am so sorry to have caused all this.” She tried to laugh but it stuck in her throat. “My hand seems to have refused to work now and I just want to go home with you. We are moving in together Doc.” Etrara said, so long as I can get these feelings under control.

“I believe that’s where I come into it” Alicia smiled warmly as she walked across Sickbay to Etrara’s bedside. “Hello father” She gave Sthilg a quick hug & kiss on his scaly cheek. “How is Etrara doing from a medical standpoint?”

" I can fix her arm with though ssshe won't have full function for a while." Sthilg responded as he carried on working.

Zac had been about to reply to Etrara when the counselor walked in. So, he held his tongue and moved out of the way. It seemed he was regulated to the sidelines.

“Don’t go anywhere” Alicia smiled as she looked at Zac. “You’re needed here, I just need to get all the facts so I can help.”

Zac returned the counselor's smile. "I'll just move over here counselor so you can talk to Etrara. If you need me to answer any questions just ask."

" Well my dear you won't losses the hand or function in it." the doctor said as he finished his examination. " It will take sssome time to heal properly."

“Thank you Doc,” she whispered, “do I really have to see the Counsellor?”

Zac breathed a sigh of relief and said a silent prayer of thanks at hearing the CMO's statement on Etrara's hand.

" Mandatory until further notice." Sthilg replied calmly. " You have to deal with the demon on your ssshoulder my girl."

“Sthilg is correct, you have to face your demons Etrara.” Alicia offered an understanding smile. “Trust me I understand only too well” she held out her scarred wrist. “I’ve been there.”

Zac looked at the attractive counselor, "Counselor, forgive me for asking, you tried to kill yourself?" He asked disbelief in his voice and in his eyes.

Alicia nodded. “I did Zac, it was a few years ago. I lost my father, my fiancé, and the baby I was carrying at the time.” She paused. “At the time I saw no other way out. I tried, but I couldn’t finish what I’d started, which I’m glad about now. I have a wonderful father right here” she smiled at Sthilg. “Plus I have Savar, and my children.”

Zac stared at Alicia then realized what he was doing. "Oh, I'm sorry Counselor, I didn't mean to stare, please forgive me."

“That’s alright Zac” Alicia smiled warmly. “It’s not everyday someone owns up to trying to end their life.”

"Thank you for forgiving me Counselor, I think you are incredibly courageous to be able to deal with it so openly and now I'll shut up about it." Zac answered feeling guilty for staring in the first place.

“Thank you Zac” Alicia smiled warmly before looking back at Etrara. “See I understand all too well the demons that drive you Etrara. I’m here to help you.”

Etrara smiled wanly, “ I am not sure anyone can help me Counsellor, this man” she grabbed Zac’s hand. “This wonderful man and I were on the cusp of a relationship and in one fell swoop I thought I had ruined it. I almost killed another man, Sean, a kind and gentle man who also wanted comforting. We tried to sleep together but I was unable to consummate it.” She looked at Zac aware that although he knew this it would be like opening a hardly closed wound. “I realised that Zac is the only man I have ever loved but, we can never have a sexual relationship. It goes back to my rape and attack prior to my commencement at the Academy. “Etrara began to cry, “Zac loves me and can forgive me but I am u able to forgive myself.”

Zac's hand closed around Etrara's. "Etrara, stop. Let the Counselor help you; you owe yourself the chance to be happy." His other hand came up and gently wiped her tears away. ""I will always love you and this is the first step in forgiving yourself." He said. He wanted Etrara to be happy and enjoy life and them to have the life together they both wanted.

“Etrara..” Alicia moved closer to the bedside. “It’s going to take time, and you have a man here who obviously loves you. Don’t let your fear drive a wedge between you, fight it, drive the fear away. You can do it! We can do it!”

" Etrara." Sthilg said calmly. " If your attacker isss ssstill out there he needsss to face jussstice. If you give me hisss name I can passsss it onto the federation authoritiesss."

She did not even have to pause, this man had raped and abused her leaving her for dead, now he had taken the chance of true happiness from her with this man she loved. Zac loved her now but when he could not make love to her her would soon tire of her. How many other women’s lives had he cursed, no it was time he paid. “His name is Peter Zaccaria Commander, please do as you will.”

Zac smiled at Etrara as she gave the CMO her attacker's name. "You've just taken the first step Etrara." He whispered. "We will get through this together." He promised her.

She nodded and, for the first time she believed that this might happen. “Right Counselor when do we begin?”

" Red squadron graduate and all around his family golden child." Sthilg said bringing up the mans record and began filling in the information to pass onto Starfleet security. "

Etrara went cold, over the years he had turned into some sort of nebulous memory seemingly real but not. “Commander, you mean you have him already!” She exclaimed, “does it give his current commission?”

"See Etrara, the wheels of justice are in motion and this man will face the full fury of it." Zac told her.

" He'sss ssstationed on ssstarbase 19 on the other ssside of the fedration. I'll sssend the info to the ssstationsss sssecurity and internal investigations." the gorn explained.

“I take it he’s not a Captain yet? He told me he would be a Captain within three years.” She remembered his young handsome face and his attitude, as though he were on to- of the world and climbing higher. She shivered not wanting to remember anything else. “Thank you Sir.” She turned to Zac, “do you think I will have to see him?” She asked.

"If he doesn't confess. I think you may have to face him Etrara even if it is via subapace. But you won't face him alone. I'll be by your side."

“I didn’t want to remember.” She said, “but if I have to I will, but it’s only my word against his and I was just a nothing, a nobody compared to him.”

"Wrong, wrong, wrong Etrara. You are not nothing. You were never nothing. What this man did to you was abhorrent and he must be made to pay for his crime." Zac answered firmly.

Alicia smiled at the sheer amount of support Etrara had, it was going to be needed. “We’ll all help you through this, you're not alone.”

" No he'sss not the captain. He'sss the attached ssship'sss third officer. Well sssoon to be former." Sthilg said as he closed the padd. " Report isss done. All up to the boysss and girlsss in sssecurity."

Zac smiled at Etrara and squeezed her hand. "See Etrara? Your nightmare is over and now you can get on with your life ." He said softly.

Etrara looked at him and smiled, “yes, my nightmare is over. I can get on with my life.” Inside she knew her nightmare had just begun but Zac would not know. She would not put that on him because of what he had just gone through.“Thank you very much Commander for doing that, all my medical records, intensive therapy etc can be obtained from Starfleet medical. Now we just have to wait and see.” She lay back and closed her eyes. “I would like to sleep now.” She said in a quiet voice.

"Of course, sweetheart you sleep and rest up." Zac said softly as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."

“Get some sleep” Alicia smiled warmly. “We’ll talk when you’re rested.”

" Doctorsss ordersss my dear. Get sssome sssleep." Sthilg added.