Trying to Understand

Posted on Thu Feb 22nd, 2024 @ 8:55am by Lieutenant Commander Rin & Kerilia Dosivi

Mission: Season 6: Episode 4: Memory Lane
Location: Shuttlebay, on the Spheia
Timeline: MD 5
1901 words - 3.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Despite its history, Kerilia considered home to be on the Spheia. There was something about its walls, the familiar rooms, that made it as comforting as a weighted blanket. The teenager had found herself in the middle of the living section more often, ever since the nightmares began again. Like the last several times, she had set up a holographic projector on the floor and watched the scenes play out while curled up in one of the chairs.

In the middle of the floor, the holographic projection of a woman with half-up, light brown hair played with a little girl. In this particular record, the girl had her arms spread wide, running around as if she were flying, before tripping over her own feet. The joy turned into an embarrassed cry, and the girl got up and ran toward the woman, who gave the girl a gentle smile before picking her up to embrace her. Bright green eyes looked to the side, followed by an inviting wave, and a moment later Teevs appeared. He was younger, lively, and looked at the woman with nothing but love in his eyes. Stopping next to the woman, Teevs put a hand on the woman's shoulder and put his forehead to hers, then the two of them looked at the girl in her arms, who was waving tiny hands around in an attempt to probably tell the adults a story.

Kerilia remembered this, vaguely. There were many moments like this where her recollection was faded, only brought back to life by the records. There were records that she didn't remember, too, but it hurt to see those because it felt like she watching someone else's life.

"Hello?" Rin called from the open door of the Spheia. Hearing no response, she stepped inside. "Teevs?"

Hearing nothing save the soft hum of the ship, Rin turned down the main corridor toward the living quarters. She had attempted to reach Teevs by com but had received no response. There were lots of reasons for such a thing to happen, but she wanted to check up on him just in case.

The sudden unfamiliar voice from the entry to the cargo ship spooked Kerilia, the control for the projector nearly stumbling out of her hands. Looking down at the controls, she fumbled to pause the recording just as the owner of the voice passed through the threshold, the projection of Teevs, the woman, and the child frozen in the middle of the room as a snapshot of a memory. Recognizing the person only as a member of this alien ship, she quickly stood, wiping her eyes in case they were wet. "You're looking for my dad?"

"Yes, I....are you alright?" Rin asked, noting the teen's slightly puffy eyes that she was wiping.

Kerilia tried to make it subtle when she wiped her wet hand on her pants, but the officer had already noticed, given the question. "Yeah," she lied, hardly sounding convincing. Pausing, she glanced at the frozen holograms again, her fingers fidgeting with the control in her hand. "Not really..." she eventually said, her voice quieter in the moment of sharing with a stranger. "It's been hard, with the nightmares and dad not liking being out here." While the device that had been causing nightmares wasn't on board anymore, it did enough to keep Kerilia up at night, either out of fear or another nightmare or fear that the nightmare would come true.

"The nightmares should be lessening now. Sthilg says there may be another day or two, but the effects should be dissipating," said Rin. Her gaze went from Kerilia to the hologram and back.

"Is that family?" she asked gently. Kerilia had been crying. Clearly there was sadness connected to the happy images, and it wasn't too hard to surmise what it was.

The young Lonian nodded as she turned her attention to the holograms as well. Even if the effects from the machine eased, her emotions were still keeping her up, afraid to sleep. Afraid to see the Nelorin again. "Yeah. That's me, my dad, and my mom," Kerilia said, pointing to each figure. It was easy to see that her mom had passed her face and eyes down to Kerilia. "It was when I told them I wanted to be a pilot and essplore space when I grew up. They promised that I'd get to learn to fly the ship..." That dry knot in the back of her throat returned, and she blinked fast to try and stop herself from crying, again. "It was the day before the Nelorin killed my mom. Watching this record sometimes helps."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Rin said. "Do you need to sit down? I'm sorry for startling you."

"It's ok," Kerilia answered, wiping her cheek again. "Both my dad and I have been... unsettled, being so close to their space, and being here sometimes helps." Remembering what had disturbed the silence in the small ship, she added, "speaking of my dad... I haven't seen him recently. But can I help with anything?" She didn't say it out loud, but the sooner they could get away from these monsters, the sooner life could return to normal, for everyone.

"I was hoping to get more information about these people we are going against. Have you two had personal interaction with them? I understand these are terrible people, and that feeling has been heightened by the nightmares. Which, by the way, caused me to flip out at a senior staff meeting, so don't be at all embarrassed by how the nightmares may be affecting you. But Teevs' concerns seem, perhaps, personal?"

A terrible interaction was an understatement. Looking down at the controls, Kerilia turned off the holographic display, the happy family blinking out of existence. She didn't quite understand the purpose of a 'flip out' at a meeting, but the conversation's context gave her the idea that it probably wasn't a good thing. "The Nelorin work for the Thaih'ea. They tried to take me away, and dad almost lost everything. He lost mom, and he almost lost me, too. I think he's worried that it will happen again." Her father wasn't the only one with that concern, as evident by the faint tremble of the controls in her hands. "I was reading some of the Earth literature before the nightmares, and I think the Nelorin are similar to pirates? They take, by force if they have to."

"Yes, we call those who attack ships for the purpose of theft pirates. And it is very illegal. Thank you for helping me understand. The Thaih'ea have some way of getting to our galaxy, and they've been using it to take our people. That's why we're doing this. Maybe they'll have a way home. At the very least, we need to know how big of a threat they are."

"They... they can travel to other galasies..." The hesitation in Kerilia's voice gave away how terrifying the idea was of the Thaih'ea having such an ability. "Are you going to try and save your people?"

"If there is opportunity, we may save some. But that is not the mission. There are too many to save, and they will compromise our ability to gather information. And it is crushing the crew. But we are hopeful such information will save more people in the future." Rin hating having to break that news to the teenager. It sounded callous. And it was a bigger gut punch every time she said it. No one wanted to leave people behind. But people don't always get what they want either.

The response filled Kerilia with emotion. There were many to filter through, but fear and anger were the prominent ones. While she understood the purpose of the greater good, knowing that people would be left behind to continue being tortured left her sick to her stomach. She couldn't bring herself to imagine if she were in either situation: in Rin's, where she'd be forced to leave behind her own people; or that of a captive, knowing that her own people abandoned her. It hurt too much to imagine such a thing. "Why can't you use the information you gather to try and save your people?" The underlying anger laced her tone, outlining the fact that Kerilia's thoughts, while logical in their own way, were still that of a child, simplistic.

"Depends on how many there are, and it depends on what information we can find. We will be outnumbered and outgunned, not just by the Thaih'ea but also by those who benefit from their continued operations. And...the fact is a lot of that information might not be understood until after we're back on Elysium analyzing it. We don't know what we're looking for. We're grabbing what we can. We don't know where that ends. We can't make a plan that far in advance right now."

The officer did have a point, and Kerilia could follow that logic. It didn't mean she had to like it. "Why are your people making my dad do this? He told me that he was going with you to get this information." The bottom part of her pout began to tremble against her wishes. She was afraid. Afraid to lose her father, afraid that something would go wrong and the team would be captured, afraid the ship would be destroyed. "He's my only parent, I don't want something b-bad to happen to him."

"I do not believe we forced him. That's not how we operate," Rin explained. "I was not the one who spoke to him, however, so I cannot speak to the specifics of the conversation. We are very appreciative of his help. If you wish to know his motivations, you should ask him directly. I do not want to put words in his mouth."

Kerilia frowned, realizing that she was letting her emotions talk. She remembered Teevs telling her that someone pointed out that him advising the team would increase the chance of success. She also remembered him distinctly saying that he willingly made the decision, a detail that was lost in the present conversation. "I did, and I remember now that he said he volunteered. I'm sorry for being upset at you," she quietly said, a shameful blush hitting her cheeks. She was frustrated, a perfectly normal response for an abnormal situation. "I'm... frustrated, scared, worried... I don't want anything to happen to my dad, or any of us."

"I understand. We are all under a lot of stress." Rin paused in consideration for a moment. "Have you visited our holodeck? Perhaps it can provide a distraction? You can visit places, play sports, study any number of things, engage in hobbies, would any of those things interest you? The decks have significant safety protocols so you can, for example, climb a mountain without danger of a significant fall."

The holodeck. Kerilia had heard of this thing, but whenever she visited it, it was under maintenance or occupied. "I can try the holodecks." There was a pause, not long but definitely awkward for the teenager, so she added, "if you need to get more information, um... you can look in the ship's database for it."

"Thank you," Rin replied. "And then I'll show you the holodeck. Maybe show you a bit of earth? Unless you have something you'd like to see."

 

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