The Return of Arri

Posted on Mon Aug 29th, 2022 @ 10:13am by Commander Arrianna Salannis an Vantar & Commodore Phoenix Lalor-Richardson & Captain Gary Taylor & Lieutenant Commander Aurelia Taylor & Commander Sthilg & Lieutenant Commander Alicia Kelea-Salik & Commander Kyle Reece & Lieutenant Commander Malakai Starr [Taylor] & Lieutenant Commander Savar cha'Salik hei-Surak Talek-sen-deen [Taylor] & Legate Imik S'Niohun [Lia Taylor] & Lieutenant Commander Kara Starr {Kelea-Salik} & Captain Mattias Richardson [Reece] & Avalon [ADMIN NPC]

Mission: Kintsugi - An Arrianna and Josephine Subplot
Location: USS Elysium
Timeline: MD-1 0900
2579 words - 5.2 OF Standard Post Measure

She brought the yacht into the shuttlebay and powered it down. She turned to the seat beside her and found it Empty... Josie's seat.. She should be here.. But she isn't. Arrianna wiped a tear and stepped off the ship wearing a cloaked dress. With the shame she was feeling, she was afraid to show her face. So much regret, fear, and... failure...

Gary waited alone in the shuttlebay as the shuttle came in and landed without fanfare. He knew who was onboard and what had happened at least he knew most of the story. he was sure there was more to what he knew. however, for now he was here as a friend to support a friend and to him that was the most important thing right now.

Arrianna tried to ignore everything. She didn't know if anyone would still want her around once everyone learned the indignities that were forced on her. But she couldn't. "Hello Gary." She said softly.

"Hello Arri." Gary answered quietly. "It is good to see you and welcome home."


Arrianna walked off the ship wearing a modest Alindari dress with a silken hood. She felt so much fear and shame, she didn't want people to look at her, or see her cry. 'They would blame me for failing.. They would blame me for failing to protect Josie. They would hate me.' She thought to herself. 'They would scorn me for slipping into insanity. Why have I come here. I want my life back? What if they say my life is in an isolated valley on Sena Alindar. Without Josie? Don't hate me my friends. You're the only people I have left.' This internal conversation inside Arri continued. 'What if they blame me for surrendering the ship when I should have fought. No wonder Carrington hated me.'

Gary watched as the figure descended from the shuttle and walked toward him.
The steps were slow and the mood somber. A hood covered the figure's head in an effort to keep their identity secret He kept silent waiting for the figure to draw closer before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I've been through... All the rings of hell." Arrianna said to Gary.

"You have nothing to apologize for Arri. Do you hear me? Nothing. There was nothing you could do. We're all here for you. Me, Lia, the Doc, Phoenix, Alicia and Savar. Naxea. Everyone you know, is glad to have you back. We're all here to support and help you any way we can." Gary answered descively.

Arri spoke. "I don't know if anyone can help me. I just have to live with this."

Having heard Arri was returning to the ship Kara made her way to the Shuttlebay to greet her. She arrived in time to see a hooded Arri being greeted by Commander Taylor. She waited for a moment before rushing over to greet Arri. “Arri! It’s good to see you!” She offered a gentle hug hoping it would convey some support for the times Arri had protected her from herself.

She forced back tears.

As he was making his way through the ship, Mattias had run into his sister. After hearing that Arrianna was arriving, he decided to change direction and head to the shuttlebay with her. As he stood there, he saw Kara move forward and hugged Arrianna. As soon as she finished, he stepped in to offer a hug of his own.

"You should be hating me... I failed.. Failed so many times. I failed to protect Josie. He made me into something I was not.. and I couldn't stop her from hurting Josie. And then I failed the people who rescued me." Arrianna noted. "I even failed this ship when I surrendered it to the Terrans rather than standing and fighting. Just because I wanted to save Phoenix.. save her little ones. I earned this pain with my foolishness." She shed tears. "It's not appropriate for an Alindari to be seen weeping."p

“To hell with what’s appropriate Arri!” Kara offered her friend moral support. “Yuo haven’t failed anyone, you were forced into what happened. Hell you stopped me from being reckless, and you helped me to learn more about myself in the process. I’ll be here for you whenever you need me, as will Matt and your other friends onboard.”

"I wanted to kill Kyle Cragen.. I wanted to unleash so much pent up hatred on him." Arrianna noted. "Gary... I'm glad to see you again, but I'm not the same foolish woman that left. It will take all this crew to heal her. And make sure I do not harm anyone.. I've improved at the hands of the philosophy college's mental healers, but I still feel the endless and reckless need to turn this quadrant upside down looking for Josie.""

Gary listened as Arri gave a thumbnail view of her feelings. "Arri, I wouldn't expect you to be the same. This crew is the best medicine you could ask for. They will help you to heal." He paused, "Josie will be found and when she is she, you will be reunited with her."

Savar has quietly entered next and stood as Gary and Arri talked, When there was a lull in the conversation he stepped forward. "It is most agreeable to see you again Commander. Alicia should also be here shortly to welcome you back."

Arrianna nodded. "Savar. I need you and Alicia's help. But I must warn you. My mind is not a safe place right now. I mentally murdered what they turned me into. It was another personality named Flossie and she.. hurt my Josie. I mentally purged a part of myself. I also have hurt a great deal of people when Cragen twisted me to his service." She noted. "I am both a victim and a victimizer."

"Alicia and I will both help you Commander and thank you for your forthrightness as well as letting me know and I will inform Alicia of what to expect, it is nothing we can't overcome with the total effort of all involved. The three of us in counseling sessions and your other friends acting and providing support for you." Savar replied.

Arri shed a tear. "Savar.. It's been nine months. Nine months with Kyle Cragen's brainwashing and chemicals. Josie is gone.. I have to live with that and move on."

"I understand your point of view and I do not share it. We can discuss more when we have a session." Savar replied simply not wishing to get into what could be a highly emotional state for Arri.

Avalon appeared. "Commander Salannis an Vantar, quarters for you have been prepared on deck 19." She announced.

"Thanks, Avalon... and I'd appreciate it if only a few people know I'm back. I have a lot to sort out with right now and I only want the Counselors to know I'm back." Arrianna noted. "I'm not quite ready for duty... not for a while. But it's not good for me to be alone at my residence on homeworld. Hold on." Arri put her hand in her mouth and whistled. Josie's dogs emerged from the yacht.

"Hey guys!" Gary greeted the dogs and got down on one knee to pet them. "Welcome home."

"They both made sure I was not alone.." Arrianna noted. "I don't understand Human pet customs, but these dogs seemed to understand I was not to be left to my own devices. They calmed me when my grief got bad these last months. But they miss Josie as well."

"Animals are very empathic Arri and these guys knew something was wrong with you, so they not only comforted you but protected you as well. You should feel very lucky to have the love of not just one but two animals." Gary replied, still rubbing the dog's heads.

"I'll have to talk to Phoenix and the others soon. Provided I simply don't make her enraged at me." Arri turned towards the doorway.

Lia now appeared in the shuttle bay, she now did to Arri what Anji had done for her. She walked up and gave her a hug then held out her hand, "Not going to lie, what your going through isn't easy I know I've been there."

"Aurelia... I will live with the shame that I gave in, just to make the pain stop, forever." Arrianna noted. "Then I did things so they wouldn't torture me. The shame was so unbearable. I withdrew into my mind."

"Oh yeah, you will live with your shame. I still live with mine every day, and I know about hiding in your mind so you can rationalise what's happening to you. But how do you rationalise something that's unreasonable?" Taking Arri's hand Lia now changed the subject, "So tell me, where you headed? Because facing this on your own, won't work. Believe me, I know that to."

Gary stood up from petting the dogs. He looked to where Lia was talking, comforting Arri. He was glad she was here. If anyone knew the effects of abuse both physically and mentally it was Lia and she could help Arri deal with the potentially crippling effects.

The turbolift doors slid open as out stepped the good doctor. A look of concern was on his face as he walked over." Arrianna my dear girl." he said as he offered her a hug.

"Doctor." Arrianna stated simply. She was not well. Both physically and mentally. She already hugged him. It looked to the Doctor she had been through the nine rings of hell.

Arri turned to the rest of them. "There will be times I need to be alone.. to sort things out... but I cannot be left to isolation anymore." Arrianna noted. "I've lost the love of my life, and I may not ever get her back. I've already tried to take my life once. I feel incredible measures of grief, rage, and shame, and I must be free of it. I really want to kill the man who took everything away from me... But I am terrified what would happen if I did go after the people who enslaved me." She noted. "I know it will take everything I have left. Including my chance to redeem myself." She mentioned. "I should be go after Josie. Tearing this galaxy by the seams to find her.." She shed more tears. "It would cost my soul."

"You have friends here, some of us have been where you stand now. But we will help all we can, I will stand with you when you need me and let you stand alone when you wish it." Lia faced Arri and extended her hand again, "From one ex slave to another, we stand together to be free."

"There's one more burden I carry, and some of you carry it too." She noted. "Back when we were confronted with Mirror Taylor. I've carried doubt whether or not surrendering was the right choice. I've comforted myself with the knowledge that doing so allowed us an opportunity to retrieve Captain Lalor, and her two children. But doing so condemned so many to torture and suffering. I did it to save Phoenix's little ones. I am tired of battles where we have to loose in order to win." Arri noted. "I need to know if that was the right choice."

Lia now looked at the floor, "Your also not alone in carrying that burden, I have often wondered if I had fired the weapons instead of standing down. Would all those who lost their lives have lived? Would our Captain been returned safe to us? Was it the right choice, only you can truly answer that question."

Alicia arrived surprised, yet glad, to see so many had arrived to greet Arri. “Arri please forgive my late arrival.” She offered Arrianna a gentle smile and an equally as gentle hug. “It’s good to have you back with us. Anything you need all you have to do is ask.”

"I'm going to need a lot from you Alicia, You as well, Doctor." Arri noted as she pulled out a PADD. "The Doctors on my homeworld have performed a full physical analysis on me. They're still trying to understand what Bishop and Cragen did to my body.. They're thinking there's long term drugs that alter humanoid emotions." Arrianna noted. "It might be good for you to Liase with them, Dr. Sthilg."

Alicia nodded her understanding. “It’s going to take a while Arri, something like this can’t be fixed overnight, but we’ll get you there. That’s a promise.”

“I’d like to help where I can” Kara smiled warmly. “Arri has become a good friend, she’s looked out for me since I found out who I truly am. Now I’ll be here to help no matter what.”

Arri spoke to Kara. "Do you know what I do when It's Christmas?" She noted. "I buy a lot of clothes, Kara. So much that I simply have to clear space for the next year's selections. Just ask Aurelia. She knows how much care I put into my wardrobe."

Kara nodded. “You’ll be that person again Arri, in time.”

"I hope so.. I really do. I want to be respected again in Starfleet. I want Josie back... even though it may be impossible. It's been nine months. It took four days for Bishop to turn me to Flossie. Nine months.. I don't hold much hope there is anything of Josephine Carlyle left." Arri noted. "And if there's nothing left.. I'll bury a possession of Josephine in my family's crypt." Arri responded. "I'm here to redeem everything I destroyed."

The gorn nooded. " I'll contact them assss ssssoon assss possssible. Though firssst thing firssst is to let me take a look at you young lady."

Arri spoke. "Mattias..." She looked at him. "Forgive me, I am so sorry." She bowed her head. "I am deeply in love with Josie.. And there's a chance I have alreadly lost the only woman I will love. The only person I will ever love again. I am desperate to have her returned to me.. To feel her. Hold her.. Even though I know it may not be possible to undo all the brainwashing Cragen has done to her. It was only when I realized that I became what Josie hated that I turned my descent into insanity around."

Mattias put a gentle hand on Arrianna's right shoulder. "I know it's been hard, Arri. You have gone through something horrific. You don't need to apolgize to me." He pulled her in for another gentle hug.

"I wish I was stronger, Mattias... I wish I was wiser... Fiercer.. Smarter..." Arrianna noted. "Thank you...."

" What you need my dear isss a ressst and sssome home cooked food." Sthilg added.

Imik had been heading for the shuttlebay to check on her fighter, only after she had entered did she notice the group focused around Arri. She went to go towards Arri but stopped, Arri's mindset made Imik worried. Much work needed to be done to even put it back in some order, "Commander, if I could be of any assistance in helping with your recovery. Please ask, and I will do all I can."

Savar spoke, "What you need Commander, we can provide and that is support, understanding and love. All which we can provide in abundance."